Body language says it all! You want to let it speak Cosmetically or Charismatically?

Human body language is lavishly rich; but least understood. It is the only language, which cuts across all cultures, castes, creeds and countries and is most universal; yet least developed! Everyone uses it through his/her expressions and gets an impression or comprehension for same spontaneously; but usually ignorant of its correct meaning. It is the most omniscient; yet very obscure to most at the same time!

Simplest definition of body language is “Reflection of your inner self in the form of expressions on outer self”. Whenever you look at anyone, you get an impression or idea. This impression or idea indicates how you have understood that person through his/her body language at that point of time.

Never undermine significance of learning to read and speak body language – reading applies to read others and speaking applies to how you can show your own self. It is the most significant mean to respond, judge and manage people and self professionally and privately, from bed rooms to board rooms!

Basics of Body Language

Here under are some examples; but the caveats or conditions, under which these may not apply are:

  • Physiological or pathological problems, which could influence our normal body functions or anatomy or appearance.
  • Physical or mental injuries leading to similar effects as above.
  • Cosmetic or surgical changes on the body, done by design.

We also need to understand that our body language or expression is not a result of one single parameter, thought or state of our mind; but it is a combination of many at the same time. Therefore, what we routinely observe is the mixed effect and hence, we can easily get confused. However, by practice, we could get clearer understanding.

  1. Head
    Hot head would have falling hair line and thinning hair density.
    Good density and growth of hair mean a cool head.
    If a person has multiple thoughts at a time, especially conflicting ones and most of the time, hair would tend to be curly. It is because of this reason that normally, very naughty kids have curly hair!
  2. Eyes
    Empathy and exquisiteness of a person reflect in eyes!
    Appearance of eyes, when we have feeling of compassion and kindness, would reflect acceptance of situation and has a kind of pull or attraction in the direction of outward to inward of eyes! Contours of eyes would tend to elongate horizontally!
    When the feelings are cruel or sinister, eyes tend to pop out, give repulsive feelings and contours of eyes stretches all over.
    If eyes blink too frequently, it is a sign of lack of concentration, guilt or fear.
    A normal look, with very little blinking is a sign of confidence.
    But, if someone is looking continuously at you without much movement of pupil of eyes, his/her intentions or thoughts are different than what you tend to believe. Be careful under such situation.
    Our universe has evolved on account of slight asymmetry! Therefore, a slight asymmetry increases beauty of bodies! It is because of this, that a slight asymmetry in eyesight (very little squint) enhances the beauty of eyes manifold!!
  3. Eyebrows
    Shape and thickness of eyebrows (natural; not threaded or made-up ones!) represents degree of our temperament!
    Thick and bushy eyebrows indicate loose and hot temperament.
    Sleek and shaped (natural) eyebrows reflect congenial nature and attitude. Note: Even if you don’t have great shape, it tends to appear better in shape, when you really have very adaptive thoughts and feelings!
  4. Nose
    Our Ego sits and shows on our nose!
    Bigger the nose, bigger is our Ego.
    Bigger and sharper the nose, Ego graduates to Ferocity or Ferociousness.
    But, good news for those having big nose – if they really drop their ego, then in overall changed look of their face, prominence of nose would stand diluted!
    When our intentions or ideas are ferocious, arrogant, with over-emphasis or rebellion, our nostrils would flare up!
  5. Lips
    Main source of our smile is our lips.
    Real smile does not open the lips (unless we are speaking and smiling at the same time). In other words, any smile with lips open is not real. Look at Mona Lisa’s picture or painting!
    Further, degree of our happiness and sensuality shows through shape and size of lips. When we are truly happy, lip line would stretch. On the other hands, when we are sensual, it would contract!
    Did you notice – a dimple in one cheek enhances the effect and beauty of lips, so also smile!
  6. Neck
    Neck or neck line denotes degree of your delicacy.
    Thin and long neck (not too much; just more than average in length) is the sign of delicacy and sophistication.
    Too broad a neck could be a sign of brutality.
    Too short a neck could signal complicated or parochial personality.
    Please remember the up side in all of above examples that when we become different and better, then overall body language makes overall look of body different and better and the effect of any shortfall in individual body parts gets diluted!
  7. Face or jaw line
    Face forms the overall impression!
    But there are few unique effects –
    Too symmetrical a face is a sign of monotony or monotonous (boring) nature.
    Too broad a face signals brash, brutal, toxic or autocratic nature.
    Too long a face points to pessimistic and paranoid nature.
    Too short a face shows limited perspective and narrow vision.
    A normally broad and little longer face looks most attractive. That’s how you would look, if you drop negative qualities, even if actual dimensions of your jaw line may not change!
  8. Shoulders
    Size of our shoulders shows degree of our sobriety and confidence.
    Too broad and straight shoulders signal bold or brutal attitude.
    Too short or drooping shoulders represent waning confidence.
  9. Overall Body
    Our overall body reflects our overall persona!
    If we are stressed or struggling to be at peace, our body would become stiff and sore.
    A happy and calm mind makes our body supple and flexible.
    A little fat on our body acts as cushion between skin and inner nerves and it saves us from superficial pains. That also makes our nature jovial.
    In other words, truly jovial nature would tend to build fat on your body.

There are lot more examples!

Other source/s to learn body language

A big source of learning body language is also work of good painters, photographers, cartoonists, animation experts, film or playwright actors and directors!

Correct knowledge of body language is a big key in success mantras

Everyone makes use of body language; but the use is unstructured, unorganized, unrefined and undefined.

You have choice to do it cosmetically, create temporary and artificial effects and fade out. This is what most do as of now.

Alternative and right choice is to work for characteristic changes in self and bring our charismatic changes in your persona. You can’t imagine how that would change the whole paradigm! Often, we see some and found them impressive. When we look at individual parts of their body, we do not find anything uniquely great; but on the whole we find them distinct and decent! And that is the effect of Charisma, which reflects as body language because of good character beneath!!

Correct and good understanding of body language can completely refine and rejuvenate us. We can understand, judge and manage people and situations at best whether we are dealing with a senior, sub-ordinate or spouse, boss or bête noire, interviewing a person or being interviewed, addressing an audience or being a part of audience.

The most important of all –

  • We learn to impact and inspire others!
  • Leveraging body language knowledge is a key element of Success Mantra!!


14 responses to “Body language says it all! You want to let it speak Cosmetically or Charismatically?”

  1. Murli Lohia Avatar
    Murli Lohia

    Transferred from LinkedIn

    Rohit Mahire has sent you a message.

    Date: 3/21/2013
    Subject: Re: Body language says it all! You want to let it speak Cosmetically or Charismatically?

    Really gud one sir.thnk u.


    1. Murli Avatar

      Thanks a lot for your valuable feedback!

  2. Murli Lohia Avatar
    Murli Lohia

    Transferred from LinkedIn

    Swati Deshpande Karodi has sent you a message.
    Date: 3/22/2013

    Subject: RE: Body language says it all! You want to let it speak Cosmetically or Charismatically?


    This was really interesting. Thanks for sharing your knowledge 🙂



    1. Murli Avatar

      Thanks a lot for your valuable views! You can wonders through knowledge of body language!!

  3. Partha Sarkar Avatar
    Partha Sarkar

    In this case ,what would be the hair type of an Indian politician.

    1. Murli Avatar

      Many thanks for your query! Post gives versions n variations, which I am sure would help you to relate. There are several other features of body language, which you may please need to look at.

  4. Roshan Pais Avatar
    Roshan Pais

    Dear Mr. Lohia,

    It’s an interesting article. The two most striking thoughts that came to my mind immediately are that –
    a. The most adept users /exploiters of such language are the comic strips.
    b. The body does adopt (over an extended period of time) the language of the underlying character, but its also true that forcing oneself to act in a particular way /manner or perform a particular action also changes the underlying character, for example the discipline (marching, obeying without question, standing straight, etc) of the army.

    I’m putting down some thoughts that don’t seem to fit in, perhaps you could help explain –
    1. Body structure and characteristics are also heavily dependent on genetics. So, South Indians would in general be naughtier than North Indians and Jamaicans would be the naughtiest race on the planet?
    2. Individuals change dramatically through their lives in appearance, especially in the hair and fat deposit categories. Some older people though can even be identified from their childhood photographs. So at what point in life can an individual’s body be considered to be speaking it’s true language?
    3. I have observed that the eyes though remain the same throughout life: but this is just my observation. Many cultures consider the eyes to be the windows to ones soul.
    4. Wouldn’t balding men be perceived as getting more hot tempered through the years? Isn’t this just ageing?

    1. Murli Avatar

      Many thanks for your detailed observations and views! It is really helpful in greater learning for me and also an opportunity to share more thoughts!!

      On the 1st part:

      a. Very true! Comic strips do use body language a lot. However, they use coarser lines of the language. A good painter uses finer lines.

      b. It is right that if mind gets conditioned repetitively by following certain commands or practices, it would reflect on the body language strongly and that would also result into conditioning one’s body accordingly. Hence, body language reflects what you are, in terms of your character or characteristics.

      Coming to 2nd part:

      1. If I have understood you right, you are implying curly hair because of genetics. It is true that genetics can exaggerate body language to the extent that we can’t see or relate incremental changes, which the latter (body language) brings. The Post cites an example of naughty kids having curly hair. Essentially, the focus is on one having conflicting thoughts most of the times. In childhood, it could reflect through naughty behavior; but it can also surface in other forms – highly sensitive nature, unpredictable behavior etc. In adulthood, conflicting thoughts could translate into philosophical or very analytical nature, which can lead to scientific temper.

      2. I believe body language is true regardless of age. In small kids, you see very little of it, because their mental activities are also less compared to adult ones.

      3. When we refer to body language, we are not referring to physical dimensions as such, for example eyes. It is basically reflections or expressions that we get. Expressions of eyes change continuously, depending upon nature of our thoughts at a given time. Yes, overall effect that eyes give, reflects one’s degree of empathy and compassion ( on plus or minus side)!

      4. By hot head, post does not necessarily mean hot temper. Lot of thoughts or ideas or worries or anxieties could make the head hot (generating more heat inside the head); but not the temper. Therefore, we are referring to falling hairline or thinning density. But if hairline is gone, it could also mean less or no more heat. Again, focus should be on incremental changes, which body language brings. Complete baldness would not show any incremental changes and hence, could loose relevance in body language; but other parts of body would still be showing effect through body language!

  5. Rob Schneider Avatar
    Rob Schneider


    Thanks for sharing
    Pls see also the following intresting presentation on this on TED:

    1. Murli Avatar

      It is my pleasure. I highly appreciate your sharing TED presentation. It adds to my learning and I am also happy to see the facts getting reiterated!

  6. Rudra Avatar

    Charismatically of-course…… 🙂

    Liked your very 1st point – “Head”. I surely have some hair still to go with… would be a nice challenge to keep it like this for the next 40 years though!!

    Oh Damn!! I’ve got biiig thick and bushy eyebrows and very often than not I tend to lose my temperament as well. :O

    And I’ve a big nose too… and so is my Ego!! 🙁

    Can’t say anything about lips… 😛

    Neck-wise, I am definitely a complicated personality!! LOL

    You gave a new definition altogether to our personas today!! Amazing!! But some of these things got to be hereditary evidently, isn’t it?? Can’t do much about it!!

    A nice, different yet uproarious post… A-HOOT!! 😉


    1. Murli Avatar

      Commendable! You have put your views very humorously!! I indeed appreciate the same.

      Yes; there are effects in body language, which come hereditary or genetically. You feel you can’t help it; but it is not completely true. If you look for incremental changes, you would be able to figure out what is behind body language!

  7. lokesh Avatar


    1. Murli Avatar

      Thanks a lot for your concise comment!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *