Silver Linings of being Second (2nd)

Stop having regrets or remorse, being diffident or defeatist, if you did not get to the top by your position, ranking, score or else! If you are 2nd or lower in your position, do you know that you have several silver linings beneath and opportunities on the horizon now to race for the top with greater competence and capabilities? I have observed the most people instead of accepting the realities, they get disappointed and demoralized and in the process, they fail to see never-seen–before possibilities emerging and benefit from brighter prospects unveiled now!

What can you lose, when you are on the Top

  1. When you reach to the top (of an organization, competition, accomplishments, passion or pursuit), your mind set changes. You have new found excitement and expectations; so also ego and emotions. Once you are there, you need to manage such new scenario for self. There are umpteen examples, say in Corporates, where top performers were recognized by elevating them to top position; but they could not perform. They were besieged by pressure to perform, fear of failure or nervousness for having nothing above (or below) to fall back!
    Often, people at the top see end of the road ahead, after sometimes, when euphoria dies and hard realities descend; rather than seeing or creating opportunities ahead. This, inevitably throw them into defensive and denial mode.
    And that is the start of their downward journey.
  2. Your success to the top or be first can make you over-confident and then, arrogant. You lose, at that point, sense of sound judgment, sanity and empathy.
  3. By virtue of your success, if you shoot into fame and fortune, power and popularity, you are dumbfounded or dazed how to manage the same. History has shown that many leaders, sportsmen, writers, artists and celebrities got into dejection and depression mode.
    Famous author JK Rowling of Harry Potter books has revealed recently how she could not handle her success and shine, and had to undergo therapy due to clinical depression! There are many such live examples of singers and leaders.
  4. You can become poor listener.
  5. You tend to be autocratic and slip down in respecting other’s opinions and expectations.
  6. In all likelihood, you would ignore your family, friends and health.
  7. You can lose your peace and sleep.
  8. Position that you now possess, can make you obsessed.

The above attracts Adversity, after your Advent to the Top.

What do you gain, when you fail to reach to the Top!

  1. Best opportunities for learning lessons on how others get success and what causes failure.
  2. When you are trailing, you are always looking ahead, get inspired to pull out your energy, efforts and enthusiasm unprecedentedly to accelerate and advance. You are trying to convert impossible into possible! This is the occasion, which you need to catch and analyze carefully. It can bring a major paradigm shift in your perceptions and help you to understand your hidden talent and energy.
  3. You can learn to accept realities and appreciate others’ strengths.
  4. You have possibility to identify your weak spots and convert these into your strengths, adversity into opportunity and despair into delight.
  5. You learn to be patient.
  6. You have unique privilege to be privy to:
    1. How a successful person sustains his success and could continue being at top.
    2. How a successful person could succumb to stress and situational complications.
    3. How to manage challenges, conflicts and contradictions.
    4. How to develop courage and convictions.
    5. How to seek opportunities to create another peak.
    6. How you can lose your command and control to adversities and fall prey to insinuations and instigations.
    7. How complexities could work; yet simplicities not!
  7. You do not have to necessarily invent the wheel and be prone to failures; you can rather consolidate and improve upon, what is already invented.

Now, your march towards the Top

If you have gone through the rigmarole of “what is there in losing and winning” and  indeed understood, you would mature, leave past behind and move forward. You would discover that:

  • Success now does not go into your head and failure into your heart!
  • Successes and failures go concurrently like 2 sides of same coin; depending upon your attitude and approach, both could be equally bright or equally dull.
  • You are better prepared and polished.
  • You are ready, robust and rugged to take off.
  • You have versatility and vitality to march to the top, sustain and seek higher top!

At the end, an untold secret of Nature the one, who saw the day later, could learn and leap more! So never ever mind to “play a second fiddle”.

Amused? See the upcoming posts!


8 responses to “Silver Linings of being Second (2nd)”

  1. Murli Avatar

    From: Pankaj Mehta []
    Sent: Saturday, September 29, 2012 3:48 PM
    To: Murli Lohia
    Subject: Re: Silver Linings of being Second (2nd)

    Lohia Sahib
    Sometimes I think you write these notes just for me. They are so pertinent and uncannily relevant to me. Thanks very much.

  2. Murli Avatar

    It is very nice of you to say words so encouraging and motivating! I really feel grateful to you.

    Have a nice week end.

  3. Mangesh Avatar

    The day you start believing that “You Succeed”, you start missing harmony, security, concentration and energy. I personally believe that no one get 100% success in their life. There is always something missing which keep you in race. Doesn’t matter whether you win or defeat, the “Journey” gives you happiness. Key is you need to insure that your always in race. i.e. your are in second position. Hats on you sir…

    1. Murli Avatar

      What you have stated speaks volumes! You have got the point!!

      It is a great pleasure to see such encouraging and enthusiastic comments and views. Please keep it up and share the power of your understanding with everyone you know!

  4. Rudra Avatar

    Still, I would like to agree on the fact that if you know you are gonna do justice with your No. 1 position, you should frantically strive to be in there. Agree there is a lot of pressure and responsibilities when you reach that ‘acme’ but at the same time it also brings self-assurance and narcissism in you without getting too complacent. In fact, on-the-contrary, it gives or motivates you to fly much much beyond!! After-all, it’s not always that people ‘succumb’ at the top!

    If you ask me, I would never be satisfied with a No. 2 spot “IF” I know I have got all the capabilities to be at the No. 1 spot and can do justice to that spot as well. If it’s within my domain, my genre, all silver linings of the second spot is gonna look like a bronze line to me!! 😛

    But yes, in some circumstances, playing a second fiddle does become the requirement of the hour and you’ll have to mold yourself consequently.

    Having agreed to your post, all I want to state is that if you know you can do better than the person sitting at the No.1 spot, you should never feel satisfied with your No. 2 position… instead, keep striving for your ultimate goal.

    Believe me, if a person ‘literally’ knows what it is meant to be at the top and if he has reached there with all his determination and utter sacrifices, he would never let anything of those go away just like that. It’s only those people who reach there by fluke or on the back of a mere luck, tend to fall and fall quickly.

    The more time you SPEND on your journey, the more time you will STAY at your destination. :)… thoughts…??

    1. Murli Avatar

      Many thanks for your detailed views! But, I am sorry, you have not got the essence of the post right!!

      This Post never suggests that do not aspire to go to top or be satisfied with second position. In the last, it says, now march to the top. Frantic desire or methods to go to top do not speak of confidence; rather it speaks of frustration and obsession. Let us not forget no. 1 positions are always limited in number in an organization, competition or any other system. So, if more than one are capable and only one gets it, what others should do? It has been seen time and again, these people go into hopelessness, dejection and reactionary mode. They do not see the silver linings; they see only dark clouds!! This is where, post brings out that they have unprecedented opportunities to get better prepared, becoming more capable to go to top, if not in current organization, then elsewhere.

      Further, do not you think that trying to defend own capabilities is simply self-defeating?

      1. Rudra Avatar

        Ohk!! I think I got you now… but having said that, I do believe that if you’re really obsessed and dedicated to something, it’ll automatically drive you to the top, you need not to have frantic desires or become frustrated to reach there.

        Again, I would still say if I am 100% confident that I can do something and I truly believe that nobody else in my surroundings can do that job better, I would never let that 2nd position come in my way and always strive for the 1st spot!

        You’re correct, there’s only one No. 1 position and so, there’s only one capable person. If you come 2nd, you lack your capability atleast by 0.00001% if not by much. People who come 2nd, should agree to the fact that they are a little bit less (it may be very very less) capable than the person sitting at the top and hence, shouldn’t get dejected or lose hope… and I think that’s where your this very post comes into picture!! 🙂

        I think I got you what you’re trying to depict here but just wanted to elaborate “my views” a little further… I am a bit different if you would like to call it that way… 😛 I don’t like the 2nd position… either I win it or go for a different game where I believe I can conquer the stage!! 🙂

        1. Murli Avatar

          I am pleased that you are now getting essence of the post and I am thankful for your efforts!

          If you are capable and know the rules of the game, you don’t need to bulldoze your way up; you would ascend definitely like water always finding its own surface. Real life fact is that people, who still lose out in race, do become dejected. Instead, they need to understand the opportunities now unfolding. That is the key; but we seem to forget.

          My counsel (may be it would make sense now; but one day it would) – It is not significant to win or lose; important is to be in race and learn n play the game at your best!!

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