Why things show up often, when we are set to give up!

Or things pop up, when you have already given up!! I came across a number of employees in the organizations, I have been associated with. These employees were sincere and hardworking; but like it happens in most companies, they developed feeling that they were not getting rewarded reasonably for their work and worth by the management. Some were mediocre; but remaining ones were meritocratic. As months passed by, their frustration levels were naturally on the rise. Beyond a certain point of disenchantment, these employees clearly fell into following categories:

  1. 45% – Succumb to frustration, loss of interest and enthusiasm in work; but continue in same organization with grouses
  2. 40% – Loss of interest and look for new job elsewhere
  3. 5% – Overcome frustration, restore interest and resign to when it has happen would happen
  4. 7% – Same as 3; but simultaneously look for opportunities outside
  5. 3% – Overcome frustration, believing that something is either wrong with self or supervisor and initiate a candid discussion with supervisor and if necessary, with boss of supervisor to bring a change

I have consistently observed that category 1 and 2 find it hard to get good opportunities inside or outside. Category 3 and 4 get what they are looking for, albeit with some delay. It is category 5, which invariably get the best opportunities fastest within or outside of current organization. It is unfortunate but true that takers of the best are always least in number!

Among other examples is that of investors in stock market. When they bet harder to win, they are bigger loser; but they winner frequently when they don’t mind to lose. Same is true with every game or gamble. Sometimes, you are too perturbed by your nagging headache. It does not go away with any medicine; on the other hands, it may increase. But, when you give up making attempts to mitigate it, it suddenly starts to subside!

You are waiting for someone to arrive and become impatient over delay in her/his arrival, only to discover disappointment with more delay! Divert your attention and person shows up sooner than you thought!! Sometimes, you forget to remember a word and stress your mind to get it. But, you don’t get it, become more desperate and start to doubt your memory. Stop thinking about that word for a while and it would pop up in your mind.

There are countless examples but same chore! You start to think why nothing comes thru without going thru pains; why you get only when you give up!!

Is it a rule of nature?

Timing, when you give up

Invariably, people give up, when:

  • Pain or frustration level has peaked out.
  • Process preventing things to happen has bottomed out.

Paradox is that people are generally oblivious of above.

What is your state after you give up

  • You are ready to compromise or reconcile.
  • You develop acceptance.
  • You become balanced.
  • You tend to become free from conflicts of thoughts.
  • You become calm.

The sum of above is actually “Detachment!”

It is Detachment, which works wonders!

Many don’t like this word – Detachment! Some are afraid of same. More misunderstand it!! But, that does not change truth of the moment!!!

Please take a moment to understand its true meaning. Detachment is not desertion or dislike for a person or object. It is:

  • Love but not lust or lunacy
  • Aspiration and passion but no obsession
  • Desire but no desperation or deprival
  • Making efforts but not resorting to escapism
  • It is renaissance but no renunciation

You can evaluate any of previous or other examples. When you give up, you actually get detached and it then that things show up, which you were not getting earlier. It is a state of mind, which is highly balanced – free from greed but galvanizes your efforts! If anyone says that detachment means abandonment of what you aspire or desire, it is a misnomer.

Anything that you do, there are 2 options:

  1. Make efforts with expectation of results.
  2. Make efforts with no expectation but with direction towards results.

1st option is prone to problems, because of preconceived notions. When desired results do not show up, it leads to disillusionment, desperation and eventually to detachment. In 2nd option, detachment itself drives your efforts and results show up fastest. Successful people consciously or unconsciously work always with 2nd option.

State of detachment has everything embedded in it but without negativity. Absence of negativity makes you positive. It brings a real sense of purpose. It makes you an observer as well as doer with consciousness!

So, if you do not want to make your journey of getting what you want painful, just get detached and success would attach to you!


2 responses to “Why things show up often, when we are set to give up!”

  1. Rudra Avatar

    Well, sometimes I don’t get it even after I give-up… just kidding!! 😀

    Without reading any further, I affirm I belong to the 5th category (3%).

    And now when I read onward, I find that my category of people tend to get the best opportunities – true to a great extent!!

    I think one more reason why people give-up usually is that they find an alternative, maybe a better alternative and hence, get ‘detached’ from their original goal.

    I’ll have to make some prodigious efforts I think, to abide by your concluding sentence “…just get detached and success would attach to you!” 🙂

    Interesting post!!

    1. Murli Avatar

      Thanks a lot for your candid views! I am glad that you do your things right. Very important is can you do it most of the times?

      You need to watch carefully; you might be getting detached time to time, when things, otherwise difficult, come by. I am sure when you practice with sincerity and patience, you would taste great fruits of your successes. Often the issue with people is sincerity of efforts and more of illusion! It can never come that way!!

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