To deal with what has gone wrong, we tend to adopt wrong ways! Most of us feel justified in doing so and in that process, we go more wrong and commit more blunders!!
Above self-justification usually comes in 2 ways:
- No; we are not doing anything wrong by going wrong, since that is the only way a wrong person or thing can be corrected!
- We can’t help going wrong; after all we are human beings!
Justifying what one does is in our DNA. Therefore, we generally don’t care whether our actions bring right results or make things worse.
Open any chapter of history or observe current happenings; writing on wall is very clear –
“Whenever things had gone bad, people had lost their balance or goodness, resorted to bad means and hit the wall. Then either they had come to their senses to do right things and restore normalcy or continued to struggle with no sign of “bad or wrong attitude, approach, behavior or things” abating!”
This saga continues at all levels – from personal to companies to countries. If employees could not meet their targets, hell would be broken loose by bosses. If some sub-ordinates are weak in performance or personality, first thing that a supervisor would do is to ignore or avoid communicating with them. If a profit center in a company has incurred losses, heads would roll. If a kid or household help has broken a glass, we will break lose our temper.
Let us look at what happens when there is conflict among a group of people. Emotions and temper would run high. Conflict escalates. But it ebbs, when counsel by one wise person within the group or from outside prevails on wisdom of the rest and if that does not happen, the conflict would only engulf many more!
Take fanaticism or fundamentalism in several parts of world at this time. Some people are imposing their doctrines or dogmas at global level through terror and killings. To counter or suppress that, some countries use their weaponry technology, power and money muscles, resulting into more killings and further maligning and multiplying those, who are already malignant!
When something goes wrong with our health – common cold, catch in the legs to cancer – most manage to mess it up further. We would become pessimistic, sad, irritated…, though every doctor would advise – be cheerful and hopeful! No doubt, treatment would do its job to cure/heal; but all researches show that evergreen advice of doctors and a good frame of mind would accelerate restoration of health and/or make it much less painful!!
Simplest problem like being in rush, majority mismanages to do everything (avoidable) to go in reverse gear!
From above examples, it is very clear that wrong approach can never mutilate wrong; instead, it would help it mutate and multiply!
Why nearly all of us go wrong in dealing with wrong
Here is the deal:
- Action on basis of 1st reaction of our mind is the easiest thing to do!
Majority confuses 1st reaction of mind as their instincts and that is a worse gaffe!!
- Above spontaneously satisfies our ego and that gives birth to our biases and a feeling of being justified in our actions.
- It then leads to cementing the thoughts at the back of our mind that what we perceive as bad or wrong things must be dealt by giving back, pointing fingers, banging, anger, accusation or shouting to physical harm in worst case.
- Negativity always sits on our nose and hence is handy; whereas positivity needs patience and peace of mind that we find difficult to practice!
- Our history and hormones have inculcated hero cult in us, which gives us sadistic pleasure of seeing offenders or villains being thrashed out verbally or bodily or even finished.
- It is for above reason that we feel compelled to retaliate against wrong doings!
Why only “right” has possibility and power to root out “wrong”!
We seem to ignore the simplest analogy or logic, nature has beautifully presented to us:
Identical polarities or charges repel each other e.g. two negative or positive charges would move apart and can’t impact each other; therefore, the two survive individually. But, a positive and a negative charge would collide and cancel each other. By the same token, a wrong or bad can be corrected by right or good, but never by another wrong or bad action! It is also precisely for same reason that wrong brings reaction and retribution, whereas right bestows reconciliation and restoration!!
Unfortunately, aforesaid 6 points create illusion in minds of most what exactly is wrong or right. Clearly, wrong is what creates reactions, raises emotions or temper, conflict or controversy and interference with others.
Right is clearly what creates solutions initially or eventually and would result in:
- Evoking tolerance, patience and positive vibes
- Eliciting understanding and acceptance of the way others are and why they do things in consonance or contradiction to your expectations
- Encouraging open communication on your part
- Ebbing or Erasing past memories of your prejudices
- Evolving your response, action or judgment without fear but with fairness and frankness
So, if you can rely on what is right as above, you can comfortably deal with or manage what is not right or conflicts, controversy, crisis or even crime at personal, professional or public level, regardless you are employer, employee, supervisor, sub-ordinate, buddy or bête noire!
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