This is a wakeup call for bosses. You may be a boss or would become one in future and have a boss in your organization. So, what we are discussing here is applicable either way. As long as you are a buddy for your sub-ordinates, it is all hunky-dory. However, if you become bête noire (disliked person) for them by virtue of your behavior or actions, it would unleash problems and pains! You may defend what you have done is right or take offense; it would not work in your favor unless you assiduously revert back as buddy, though you run the risk of leaving scars in your relationship with sub-ordinates!!
What is the trigger?
Falsehood of Bosses
It is rampant. More bosses sulk and suffer from falsehood than right hood. Right hood is blessing; but falsehood is a blunder e.g.
- I am always right.
- My command does not need explanation, just compliance; being right or wrong does not matter.
- I hate to be challenged.
- I have natural right to be respected.
- If I bend for my employees, they would make me bend more.
- If I give freedom, I would lose control.
- I have to have last say and win an argument with my team.
- Only my thoughts and wishes are fair, even if these clash with those of others.
- Being captain, success belongs to me; blames for failures have to rest with team.
- It is not possible to please everyone, so at least please those (blue eyed boys or girls, regardless of merit), who please me!
- I should appear to agree; but actually disagree.
- I am proud to talk of empathy for employees; but empty in my endeavors.
Many would be very subtle and disagree that they do the above; but that is the enigma due to Falsehood!
When employee fall prey to fallacies
- Expecting prize without performance.
- Boss is a God, who can address all of his/her issues and itches.
- Getting influenced by boss’ position and not persona!
- Coming too close to boss would raise his/her visibility.
- Being in footsteps of boss blindly would be a blessing.
- Wishing that boss can compromise his/her interests in favor of employees.
- “Work life balance” does not apply to a boss.
Above fallacies create false notions and set undue expectations in mind of employees for the bosses!
What frustrates employee or team member
- When boss divides and rules.
- When boss selects his/her shoe (job responsibilities), with no regard to size of his/her foot.
It would pinch either way, if it too big or too short!
- If boss reprimands employee in public or in presence of peers or pulls leg in front of spouse in a party.
- Boss makes promises; but does not deliver.
- Boss deprecates when employee is lagging; but seldom appreciates where he/she is leading.
- When employee discovers boss does not deserve to be a role model!
- Boss displays split personality/behavior before employees.
- Boss is not a source of inspiration; but a cause of fear and frustration.
How to be “Boss and Buddy” at the same time
Often people think that’s very easy and end up doing a shabby job both as a boss and buddy! It is not about pleasing all your employees or team members, which is popularly known in French as “Laissez faire” style. It is about playing 2 contrasting roles cleverly and sincerely! It is not difficult, if you do the following decisively:
- What migrate you from a Boss to a Bête noire are your Ego and Misconceptions. If you drop your ego, you would gradually kill your misconceptions and illusions too. Please refer last post on CYI site about Ego.
- This would lead you to love all; respect all. Avoid temptation to love and/or respect selectively.
- It is the Love, which would make you buddy; help you to put yourself in others’ shoes and understand their problems, pleasure and perspective.
- It is the Respect, which would keep you apart as a boss, understand employees’ “needs, strengths and weaknesses”, hold their hands to take them on road to growth and glory, and in this process also your company!
- Take a full about-turn on your falsehood mentioned above.
- Resist what would frustrate your team, while guiding them not to fall prey to fallacies.
- You would get a highly prized catch – above would actually upgrade you to be a Leader and not Bête noire!
A Leader is not only both Boss and Buddy; but much more…..