One of English words most extensively used by most people is “Sorry”. This word does a great job in deflecting problems faced by them, albeit temporarily!
People use “Sorry” for a variety of reasons:
- To express regret or remorse for a mistake committed.
- To convey repentance for what you don’t think is a mistake; but other person sees it as a mistake!
- To pacify an angry or agitated person, you are facing.
- To avoid an argument or further discussion.
- To justify what you have done e.g. sorry, I did that; but I did not mean it or wanted to do it!
- To intentionally hurt someone (usually verbally) first; but use sorry to soothe his/her wound!
- To show helplessness e.g. sorry, I got delayed or I could not do that.
- To solicit a favor, help or consideration e.g. sorry to give you trouble; but could you do that for me?
Are people really serious, when they say sorry or they do it for serving self? A study shows that 8 out of 10 persons are not serious while saying “sorry”, merrily though!
Amazing rule of “1-2-3 & Go” applies very well to “Sorry”
I have come across several instances, when a person has said sorry for same gaffe or slip consecutively 3 times and on 4th instance i.e. Go, invariably he/she has stopped saying sorry! Such incidences vary widely in degree of importance like responding to an important e mail to delivering what is promised; but result of the rule “1-2-3 & Go” has been consistently same! I am sure, if you observe closely, your experience would not be any different i.e. after saying sorry 3 consecutive times, person does not feel sorry at all! He/she stops even communicating to you!! At the 4th incidence, person goes in reverse gear. Rather than feeling sorry, one starts to feel sour!
So, watch out this rule attentively; it can have colossal impact on your character and charisma!
Start to worry, if sorry is not accompanied with seriousness!
Absence of seriousness speaks poorly of your persona. If a person does not mean his/her words, then it implies that:
- He/she is casual by character.
- He/she lacks attention to details.
- He/she is insincere.
- He/she would not inspire confidence of others.
- His/her credibility would be poor.
Those, who do not take their words seriously, are usually mediocre or conversely, mediocre people tend to speak casually.
Strong people have to use “Sorry” sparingly!
You would observe that effective, impressive or strong people would always weigh their words and convey same with a purpose. This habit is part of their DNA. If they have to say sorry for a reason, they would say it spontaneously; but they would follow it up to make amends or correction, so that they do not have to say sorry again for the same mistake or situation.
History has witnessed several wars, triggered by spoken words. On other hands, calibrated and well-crafted words have brought-in several negotiated settlements and peace.
Weighing your words has another great advantage. When you weigh your words, your mind starts to witness “Now”! It brings consciousness and makes you cool!! You may then speak the word/s or may skip same.
So, conscious silence and calibrated speaking can make you very congenial person! On other hand, casually spoken words or sorry can cause at times irreparable damage!!