Warning – We are not taking about what you do in bedroom travels to boardroom. This is a universally applicable script; not an adult one. It is about our character and thoughts at Home or Work, Private or Public place.
Often, we tend to think that we can switch on or off our traits or thought process from home to office or vice versa. This is completely misplaced. You may, at the most, hide your feelings or expressions; but what drives these, does not change. It is an exaggerated notion that you can compartmentalize your character, barricade your behavior and thereby keep them insulated from one place to another.
What is really different at Home and Work
Home and Work differ only by “Environments and Requirements”! As a result:
- Home gives freedom; Work can give fear – fear of performance, profit/losses, image and so on.
- Home brings comfort; Work brings discomfort of compliances.
- At Home, you have lifelines; at Work you have deadlines.
- At Home, you shape others’ destiny (spouse, children..); at Work, others shape your destiny.
- At Home, you have partner’s pressure or pleasure; at Work you have peer pressure.
- At Home, you can boss around or be bossed; at Work, you invariably have bosses (except for your own business).
You, as much as anyone else, are the common entity at both places and subjected to differing “environments and requirements”. But, the way “rules apply and work” do not differ at Home or Work. What varies is only your response.
So, remember – at private or professional places, same Rules apply; but your Responses vary! You do always carry seamlessly your approach and attitude, pleasures and pains to these “environments and requirements” from one place to another and back. If you have been stressed at work, you may try to hide at home; but let there be no illusion that it has not traveled home with your mind. And reverse is also true.
Why “What you think” travels from Home to Work and back
Look at what drives your thoughts and in turn actions:
Your information and consciousness –> your character –> your thoughts/action
You are a unique character and regardless where you are, irrespective of your environments or requirements, your character would not change on its own. It is because of this, whatever you may do, you would carry your thoughts and corresponding actions everywhere with you.
Then, what makes you to behave differently at Home and Work
Your behavior is essentially a response. Response comes from:
Character + Emotions –> Thoughts/actions + Emotions –> Response i.e. behavior.
From above, you can see that your character cannot change on its own. What changes are your emotions and hence behavior. This is the key!
You can, now, relate lot of examples, where behavior changes by 180 degree due to emotional aspects:
- A husband very caring at home, behaves as a bad boss at Work, because of his biases (emotional aspect) against sub-ordinates.
- One is seen as introvert before spouse; extrovert before sub-ordinates, because his spouse is dominating!
- Person is dis-organized at Home; but very organized at Work, which is actually not by his/her character; it is by fear factor!
If a person’s character is of good planning and organization, he/she is bound to be that way both at Work and Home!!
Examples of split personality and dual behavior
As a corollary, I come to a very important aspect, why people show dual behavior.
A wrong perception prevails worldwide that people having split personality have dual character. Their character is one and only one; what split their personality are their different emotions under different “Environments and Requirements”! Examples:
- A manager displays broad mindedness, pragmatic views and people friendly approach before his management.
But, for his team members, he is autocratic, believes in favoring few and mistrusting most.
His 1st set of actions is driven by his ambition to go up or fear of getting pulled down (emotional aspects). On the other hand, 2nd set of actions exhibits his feeling of insecurity. Common factor is his character – weak personality and poor confidence.
- Someone preaches simple living and high standards; but in his private life, he does exactly opposite.
He is plagued by his love for praises and popularity. Character wise, he is dishonest.
- A person likes to pick faults in others; but does not agree with his own. Emotionally, he is an egoist!
- An employee respects his senior, as much as he respects household help at home. Emotionally, he is compassionate and by character, he is consistent.
Look at above example carefully. First 3 bullets show negative characters of persons and dual behavior/split personality! Last bullet shows positive character but no split behavior!!
What is the take-away?
- Your character does not change, whether you are in bedroom or boardroom!
- What changes is your emotions, which reflect as changes in your behavior or response.
- Positive aspects of your character would make you consistent and credible.
- Negative aspects of your character, just one or more, would result in your split personality or dual behavior and cost you dearly.