How you want to be remembered? Make a choice today

You have 3 choices:

  1. You want to be remembered for right reasons
  2. You want to be remembered for wrong reasons
  3. You do not want to be remembered

Depending upon the choice that you make, you sow seeds to build your identity. Identity of each of one of us is critical, whether we are conscious about it or not, whether we like it or not!

If people remember you for the right reasons, they come close to you, they like you, you learn from them and Life is Good. If you have got involved with wrong attitude or acts, people indeed do not want to remember you. Yet, their minds remind them of your image, since they feel repulsive, critical of you.

“Do not want to be remembered” is the most difficult choice to make! Are you surprised? You would not think of this choice, unless you are frustrated and fed up. You are furious with your friend and tell him “I do not want to remember your face and friendship”. Every time you actually attempt to do this, your friend’s face is bound to come in your mind and then only, you can try to forget it! So, this is a difficult one.

Here is what you can do depending upon choice, you make.

1.     You want to be remembered for Right reasons

  • Smile and Style – when you are present among people, use these to make your presence felt. Your style would surface automatically, when you love yourself, respect and like others.
  • Spontaneity and Support – be quick to respond with presence of your mind; do not keep mind somewhere else and talk here. First show your appreciation to others’ views or work and then share your suggestions. People often do vice versa!
  • Solutions and Sympathy – be a solution provider rather than problem narrator or creator. Sympathize with others for their issues or limitations.
  • Seek – unconventional and out-of-box methods within limits of decency.
    I did it, when I started my career in a cement plant at the age of about 20 years. Somehow, I decided to wear only full white dress at work. Cement plants during those days used to be very dusty and with coal powder flying around. At the end of each day, my dress would be dirty and next day I would turn up with spotless white dress again. People could make out from difference in conditions of my dress in morning to evening, how hard I had worked! Soon, I was known in the plant as “Man in White”! In retrospect, I think it was my immaturity; people still remember though!
  • Show – your talent. Each one of you has something exclusive. Identify it, keep enhancing it daily and demonstrate to people, with a view to create values for them.

2.     You want to be remembered for wrong reasons

  • Complain – meet people in elevator as you arrive at work place and complain about lousy weather, bad traffic and security rules. Give dumb or dirty look to people, who smile.
  • Comments – show negative flavor to your stake holders like customers, colleagues, company or community. Show off your knowledge, when not solicited.
  • Criticize – be critical of what is done for you or given to you. Point fingers at what is not there and ignore what is there. Show your supremacy in the name of your high standards and dissatisfaction with others’ efforts.
  • Controversies – get thrill or visibility by raising or involving in controversies and proving your points.
  • Contradictions – show split personality, double standard – one for sub-ordinates and another for supervisor, exhibit belief in contrarian and toxic leadership.

3.     You do not want to be remembered

  • Isolate – live and work in isolation (how?) and be self-centered.
  • Insulate – not approachable, do not interact and no concern for people in neighborhood.
  • Ignore – do not pay attention to rules and rituals, do not think or learn about good or bad and ignore expectations of others from you.

Now, it is time to know the bitter truth of your life. May be you would now discover that you have already made a choice consciously or not consciously! However, majority of you keep juggling around all three choices and do not stick to one, in real life. Effect of choice 1 is negated by 2nd and 3rd is neutral. This is where your miseries come from!!

Stick to the choice that you make and implement. 


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Murli Lohia

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Comments

15 responses to “How you want to be remembered? Make a choice today”

  1. Kaushik Roy Chowdhury Avatar
    Kaushik Roy Chowdhury

    I wish to be remembered for all the right reasons.

    Reply
  2. Mukesh Hatwalne Avatar
    Mukesh Hatwalne

    Dear Mr. Lohia,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to seeing your posts as they really are enriching & great food for thought.

    I agree with you when you say that it’s in our hands to ensure we are remembered for the right reasons…

    This also reminds me of the famous saying on similar lines “How you spend your days is how you spend your life”

    Reply
  3. Arun Avatar
    Arun

    Dear Mr. Lohia,

    A really nice article, but it leaves me with two sets of questions:

    How do you build a profile for yourself in a company, or even with Clients.? – it is like being remembered for the right reasons, but there is a lot more – especially around self image, self-esteem and so on. (- this question is about personal development.)

    On the other side, how do you make sure that Clients remember you for the right reasons? We live in opportunistic times. (- this question is about marketing and sales)

    Reply
    1. murli Avatar
      murli

      Thanks a lot! On building profile with your company and/or clients, when you keep doing it right i.e. choice 1 and take care not to get in into 2nd (which our mind often drives us to), you are bound to develop your profile and yourself. You need to sustain with your efforts! Just make sure that there is no illusions around self image or esteem. These would never be compromised, if you are doing it right. There are lot of messages in other posts on CYI and many more to come. I am sure it would help you to orchestrate your approach.

      On your 2nd question, if you are doing all for right reasons, then you do not need to worry; clients would automatically remember you. Just make sure that you are communicating to clients how you are going about and trying to create values for them.

      Reply
  4. Deepak Dev Avatar
    Deepak Dev

    Very nice post.

    Reply
  5. Amit Samel Avatar
    Amit Samel

    Nice article invoking to think about ones actions.

    I have a question, on the 3 C’s of Comments, Criticize and Contraversies.

    Generally, people showing these traits in an organisations are termed as head strong and ambitious and are seen rising up the ranks quite fast.

    People who smile, sympathize and provide solutions are deemed as either soft spoken or technically superior but with lacking business acumen.

    I conclude to have all the above qualities and use them based on the situation we are in.

    Reply
    1. murli Avatar
      murli

      I do not think that people in an organization can rise solely on the basis of making comments, criticism and raking up controversies. You are in a wrong organization, if its bosses recognize these traits and consider the same as business acumen! Conversely, such people may have other good qualities, which are overshadowing these traits; but their net performance or abilities would be lower than what it could be, if they were to drop these negative traits.

      Here is what you or others can do. Using 5/7 S’s of this post, you can communicate to your bosses and/or colleagues exactly same things but stating that you want to share your thoughts, give analysis what one is doing is right or wrong and why, give a solution to controversy without being critical of an individual or touching personal aspects. That would be seen as perfect business leadership!

      Reply
  6. Amrita Rode Avatar
    Amrita Rode

    Dear Sir,

    This message is really very enriching.
    Each one of us must be feeling how to be part of first choice. This message will definitely help us to make conscious efforts to develop ourselves in making first choice of the message.

    Reply
    1. murli Avatar
      murli

      Very well said! Conscious and sustained efforts are the ones, which would definitely take you there.

      Reply
  7. Chetan Tinaikar Avatar
    Chetan Tinaikar

    Dear Mr. Lohia,

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts , they are truly enriching.

    Even I believe that you will be remembered for not where you are in terms of Organization or position, but how you are i.e how you carry your self and how good you are in terms of commitment and attachment towards the organization and your colleagues.

    Reply
    1. murli Avatar
      murli

      I appreciate and admire your observations! Truly great thoughts!!

      Reply
  8. Sushil Jain Avatar
    Sushil Jain

    Good write up once again. Some observations:

    Focus is on the whether I will be remembered after I am gone. People should remember how good I was and what good things I did…. It is based on that I am doing something for others…. it is myth…

    Actually, I am always doing everything for me….because there is no other….

    Wisdom is to keep focus on what I am experiencing inside from moment to moment while we are doing everything and interacting with people,…. Am I enjoying the process, the journey of life? If that is happening people will remember me automatically….. even if they don’t, it does not really matter….

    Reply
    1. Murli Avatar
      Murli

      Many thanks for your comments!

      Please allow me to correct the perception, this post seems to have created for you. Focus is not on remembrance, after I am gone. It is on what impression and impact, I am creating on others through my doings.

      It is true that we always do things for ourselves; rather I would say we do what we perceive that it is correct for me to do at that moment. Let me take an example – there are people (misguided ones), who enjoy cheating others. Is that a right thing to do, simply because it gives you pleasure? There are others, who would punish such people.

      If I am responding to your comments, I ought to be conscious that I give you as satisfactory an answer as possible. So, you (as other) do matter to me! The post is about creating awareness what is right and what is wrong, what one should do and not!!

      Reply
  9. Sushil Jain Avatar
    Sushil Jain

    Murli, there is no need for any response to my observations. We all have different reference points and accordingly we think and verbalize/write. It is not a question of right or wrong.

    When one operates from the Source/self/oneness state…..it is only me all around (i.e. there is no other)….. It is about being truely selfish… where happiness is everywhere…

    Thanks

    Reply
    1. Murli Avatar
      Murli

      Thanks and I respect your views. Yes, right and wrong has no relevance in this context. But, as a courtesy to the guests of CYI site and making/reading comments, I have a policy of thanking and responding to each comment, as long as I can manage it.

      Different view points are a healthy sign and show the path to what is valid and applicable.

      Reply

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