Tag Archives: Illusion

Simple but unique n universal rules no one can escape or evade!

When you don't resist the rules! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Our day to day life is governed by very simple but strong rules, which apply to the most powerful – US President – to the poorest person on this planet! Very few have noticed these rules. These are as if framed by the creator of universe; but one thing is certain – these rules are apparently iron cut and do not alter a bit in any situation! If you ever conclude it otherwise, it is nothing but your illusion!!

Often you observe that despite your smart and sincere efforts, you don’t get desired results; you struggle to get peace of mind despite sustained prayers; you are doing what others have done – they got it but not you! What is behind these? The reason for more than 90% of time is that you are violating these rules, while still expecting that things would work out for you.

There seems to be no document, where such rules have been documented for benefit of all. Here below are top ten rules:

  1. You get what you give
    It is all pervading rule! You give respect, you would get respect; you hurt someone verbally or physically, you would be hurt. You give smile to someone, she/he would smile back. Someone is always smiling and hence you may wonder this rule does not work; no, it does! Your smile is bound to bring corresponding incremental smile on that smiling face; that incremental is what matters and is real!
  2. You become what you believe
    You can’t be other than what you choose to be! If you believe in dynamism, you would become a dynamic person; but if you don’t believe that you can be dynamic, you would then be docile. Note the key point – by not choosing one attribute, you automatically opt for its opposite or you can also choose the opposite consciously e.g. you want to be docile and you would then be so!
  3. What you share swells
    If you share love, it would soar; if you share grief, it would spread! Likewise, if your share wealth, it would multiply; if you share wisdom, you would master more!!
  4. Bad karmas can’t be offset by good karmas and vice versa
    We often think that having done something good, we can go easy and do what is not good. But we can’t escape paying a price. Good and bad karmas are like 2 separate accounts – there is no cross debit or credit – you get prize or penalty for each account respectively. 
  5. Very thought that you have reached a climax is onset of your climb down
    This is true from bed room to board room or community to country!
    Corollary of this rule is what we often say what goes up has to come down. Being up and down have relative positions; crucial is the thought where am I. Once you become conscious of your high position, you lose your hold on same. Try not to think sincerely how high you have reached, then height would never matter for you and you can keep going higher! 
  6. You are always be bitten and beaten by your own biases
    You develop your biases for a person to beat him/her through your dislike/s; but the fact is those biases would not bite him/her but you!
    You have no clue how much energy and time you lose courtesy your biases!!
  7. Sanctity of an act starts to fracture, when masses start following it
    We always feel comfortable being in a crowd and blindly put our belief in what masses do, forgetting that masses mostly make mistakes.
    Just take one burning example – mass hysteria worldwide against terror; can it be tackled like that? Instead, it has only helped it to mushroom!
  8. Regardless of how well you organize, things would go out of order
    This does not mean you should not organize yourself or your things. It means get your expectations right and take corrective measures in time!
    Nature does not allow sustained state of equilibrium. This is consistent with famous 2nd law of thermodynamics and hence also scientific.
  9. Cluttered space or schedule clutters your mind
    This is a key to your efficiency and elegance!
    Cluttered work place, home or your routine is what gives birth to lot of banes. You lose clarity and hence confidence.
  10. Realities are meant to be accepted, else you get rejected and dejected
    We expend too much of extraneous efforts in resisting or contesting the realities. Eventually, everyone comes to term; but lost time and opportunities don’t return!

So, how about flowing with above rules to make your life and career ever flourishing and frolic?

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Thinking for others’ good actually does much good to you; vice versa if it is bad!

Thinking well beyond self! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

When you wish well for your near and dear or pray for someone’s recovery from poor state of health, you always imagine or wish that it reaches that person, however remote she or he may be!

Lot of research has been conducted whether wishing or praying for someone’s wellbeing helps her/him or not. Praying for something good to happen or someone’s good health is practiced in one form or another in all races and religions in the world. Remote prayer is classically known as Intercessory Prayer (IP).

In 2006, Harvard professor Herbert Bensen had conducted systematic study of therapeutic effect of IP on more than 1,800 people; but no conclusive proof could be found. Work done by other researchers – Dr. Charles Bethea, Richard Dawkins, Jeffery Dusek etc. did not bring out consistent effect of IP or existence of any divine intervention consequent to IP. Such research over last several decades has been done in several permutations and combinations:

  1. Prayers (or good wishes) by strangers remotely
  2. Prayers by strangers locally
  3. Prayers by known people remotely
  4. Prayers by known people locally

Above 4 combinations gets multiplied by 8 times, considering that people praying had belief or no belief in prayers, prayer was offered with or without knowledge of concerned person, concerned person had belief in prayers or not and prayer was offered in anticipation of an event or post event. That brings a total of 32 types of prayers and there can possibly be more! 

In many societies, there are rituals for inviting divine powers to bestow good things like peace, prosperity or rains, in case of famine.

What is striking in all of above examples is that the biggest beneficiary is stranger, who holds strong belief that her/his (sincere) prayers or wishes do work and next is that recipient of good wishes, who feels good or grateful to the people, who prayed for her/him, regardless whether she or he is benefited or not!

Do thoughts travel from one to another point or person?

There is no scientific evidence yet; it remains a conjecture! Also, far cry is whether divine intervenes upon invitation through holy words or chanting!!

Yes; your thoughts or prayers affect you directly and that is what all studies prove! If the recipient’s sensory system is triggered by your expressions (on account of your thoughts or prayers), then resultant thoughts in mind of the recipient would impact him. Key is the kind of thought that gets developed in the mind of recipient. In exactly same situation, it is quite common that different recipients develop different thoughts. It is for this reason that above mentioned research on IP has shown varying results!

Why your good thoughts for others bring you more glorious results!

No doubt, you must think good about self. However, you run one risk, when you focus only on yourself – it can expand your ego, while enhancing your confidence; it may drive you into comfort zone, while compromising your efforts to excel!

On other hand, there are umpteen number of upsides in thinking good for others, regardless what they are:

  1. It is impossible to think good about others sincerely, without first feeling good about self. 
  2. When you think good for others, you go beyond self! This is a real trigger for many good things to come to you!!
    A manager, who thinks good for his/her customers and employees, would automatically be greatly benefited.
  3. You become humble and honest.
  4. You become open minded and optimistic.
  5. You are compelled to drop your ego and biases!
  6. Your vision broadens and wisdom deepens!
  7. It gives birth to empathy and you start to reap rich dividend from same.
  8. It instantly increases your competence to manage conflicts and allow you to deal with good and bad with same candor!
    If you have a difficult boss and go to meet him with decent feelings for him accepting what he is, you would have no difficult to deal with him. Even if he throws toxicity at you, you would automatically refrain yourself to get engaged with or escalate it. This can only help change behavior of boss towards you.
  9. Seeds of a true leadership is sown, when you rise above self and think about others and their good!

So far so good; look at the opposite side!

It is seldom that we think bad about ourselves; but we are ever ready to think bad about others out of envy, rivalry, bias, anger or fear! But, we rarely realize or analyze, if thinking good for others can bring us so much good as above, then thinking bad for others can also multiply into too much bad for us!

Above is what you can watch or I can vouch that it is rampant in our daily rigmarole!

It is impossible that our bad behavior, in any form, can ever bring us success or glory. Some people claim that they get pleasure; but that is sadistic and shameful! It is not possible to have good time with bad mind! 

If you are negative inside, you can never create positive outside (for others) or get positive results. Likewise, if you are genuinely positive inside, it is not possible that you can ever create negativity for others.

Very often, I hear people saying “To survive in this cruel world, you can’t be kind; look at that crook – how destiny is kind to him!” This is nothing but our illusion. Most probably, we don’t know real sufferings of the crook.

So, if you want great life, be genuinely good to others. Life would be without luster, if you flick between good and bad (which most do) or without light, if you stick to bad!

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Biggest blunder in our world – dealing with “wrong” by going wrong!

When things go wrong! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

To deal with what has gone wrong, we tend to adopt wrong ways! Most of us feel justified in doing so and in that process, we go more wrong and commit more blunders!!

Above self-justification usually comes in 2 ways:

  1. No; we are not doing anything wrong by going wrong, since that is the only way a wrong person or thing can be corrected!
  2. We can’t help going wrong; after all we are human beings!

Justifying what one does is in our DNA. Therefore, we generally don’t care whether our actions bring right results or make things worse.

Open any chapter of history or observe current happenings; writing on wall is very clear –

“Whenever things had gone bad, people had lost their balance or goodness, resorted to bad means and hit the wall. Then either they had come to their senses to do right things and restore normalcy or continued to struggle with no sign of “bad or wrong attitude, approach, behavior or things” abating!”

This saga continues at all levels – from personal to companies to countries. If employees could not meet their targets, hell would be broken loose by bosses. If some sub-ordinates are weak in performance or personality, first thing that a supervisor would do is to ignore or avoid communicating with them. If a profit center in a company has incurred losses, heads would roll. If a kid or household help has broken a glass, we will break lose our temper.

Let us look at what happens when there is conflict among a group of people. Emotions and temper would run high. Conflict escalates. But it ebbs, when counsel by one wise person within the group or from outside prevails on wisdom of the rest and if that does not happen, the conflict would only engulf many more!

Take fanaticism or fundamentalism in several parts of world at this time. Some people are imposing their doctrines or dogmas at global level through terror and killings. To counter or suppress that, some countries use their weaponry technology, power and money muscles, resulting into more killings and further maligning and multiplying those, who are already malignant!

When something goes wrong with our health – common cold, catch in the legs to cancer – most manage to mess it up further. We would become pessimistic, sad, irritated…, though every doctor would advise – be cheerful and hopeful! No doubt, treatment would do its job to cure/heal; but all researches show that evergreen advice of doctors and a good frame of mind would accelerate restoration of health and/or make it much less painful!!

Simplest problem like being in rush, majority mismanages to do everything (avoidable) to go in reverse gear! 

From above examples, it is very clear that wrong approach can never mutilate wrong; instead, it would help it mutate and multiply!

Why nearly all of us go wrong in dealing with wrong

Here is the deal:

  1. Action on basis of 1st reaction of our mind is the easiest thing to do!
    Majority confuses 1st reaction of mind as their instincts and that is a worse gaffe!!
  2. Above spontaneously satisfies our ego and that gives birth to our biases and a feeling of being justified in our actions.
  3. It then leads to cementing the thoughts at the back of our mind that what we perceive as bad or wrong things must be dealt by giving back, pointing fingers, banging, anger, accusation or shouting to physical harm in worst case.
  4. Negativity always sits on our nose and hence is handy; whereas positivity needs patience and peace of mind that we find difficult to practice!
  5. Our history and hormones have inculcated hero cult in us, which gives us sadistic pleasure of seeing offenders or villains being thrashed out verbally or bodily or even finished.
  6. It is for above reason that we feel compelled to retaliate against wrong doings!

Why only “right” has possibility and power to root out “wrong”!

We seem to ignore the simplest analogy or logic, nature has beautifully presented to us:

Identical polarities or charges repel each other e.g. two negative or positive charges would move apart and can’t impact each other; therefore, the two survive individually. But, a positive and a negative charge would collide and cancel each other. By the same token, a wrong or bad can be corrected by right or good, but never by another wrong or bad action! It is also precisely for same reason that wrong brings reaction and retribution, whereas right bestows reconciliation and restoration!!

Unfortunately, aforesaid 6 points create illusion in minds of most what exactly is wrong or right. Clearly, wrong is what creates reactions, raises emotions or temper, conflict or controversy and interference with others.

Right is clearly what creates solutions initially or eventually and would result in:

  1. Evoking tolerance, patience and positive vibes
  2. Eliciting understanding and acceptance of the way others are and why they do things in consonance or contradiction to your expectations
  3. Encouraging open communication on your part
  4. Ebbing or Erasing past memories of your prejudices
  5. Evolving your response, action or judgment without fear but with fairness and frankness

So, if you can rely on what is right as above, you can comfortably deal with or manage what is not right or conflicts, controversy, crisis or even crime at personal, professional or public level, regardless you are employer, employee, supervisor, sub-ordinate, buddy or bête noire!

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Nothing can be sustained in steady state; so what’s in your hands!

Calm or chaotic? Source: http://www.flickr.com/

When going is good, everyone would like it to keep going! But, then soon, you would get tired, bored or jittery, much as you would not like it happen and your rendezvous with gala time comes to an end.

You are happy that most of your customers are highly satisfied with you and believe that you can now breathe it easy. And, suddenly comes a communication from a very angry customer. This is followed by more disturbing news from other customers or your bosses or buddies.

When you thank your stars that for days, your spouse has been lovely in treating you is the time something lousy crops-up, derailing your dreamy run! When you feel proud that you have not fallen sick for months is what seems to attract a sickening month. When you think that your trouble are finally over is actually the onset of new troubles.

There are top notch organizations like Apple, Microsoft, IBM, Siemens or Dell. They have rarely been able to stabilize for long and always face risk of getting toppled by rivals or internal issues!

USA has gone strength to strength from its policies and principles of peace, democracy, secularism, civil and economic freedom; but despite foolproof security, advance warning and mock exercises, it got hit by unprecedented terror strike on 9/11, 2001; encountered great economic meltdown in 2008; it is facing threats from increasing number of religious outfits and rise of its real economic rival – China with no democracy and free market!

From above, it is clear that much as we would like it to be, nature does not allow steady state, continuous run or growth for too long! It allows all other possible alternatives to creep in and create chaos or disturbance!!

Signs that steady state can’t last long!

There are several footprints of nature that corroborate this:

  1. 2nd Law of thermodynamics
    This is highly celebrated law, which states that entropy i.e. heat energy of any body can’t remain constant. It would always increase with time. It applies to molecules of our body at micro level to universe at macro level.
  2. Our Universe is ever expanding
    Experimental observations till date suggest that universe in which we live has been expanding ever since its birth 13.8 billion years ago. We would face full scale calamities, if it ever contracts.
  3. Every particle or planet is in dynamic state
    Nothing in universe is steady or static! Idea of a steady state is only an illusion and desire for the same an impossible dream!!
    Atoms or sub-atomic particles, of which every substance or scenario is made, are constantly spinning and moving.
  4. Time is constantly moving forward
    If time was to be static, there would not be any life anywhere! It is constantly moving forward at speed of light. If arrow of time ever reverses even in a laboratory, there would utter chaos and things would go upside down.
  5. Continuous biological changes in our body
    Because of above, our body is constantly subject to changes and that leads to our aging with time.

Despite above dynamics, the only thing, which remains constant is our Mind!!! Never mistake mind as your brain. Are you surprised? But, it is true. What actually change in our mind are our observations and thoughts!

Hence, nothing holds out a higher promise or potential than your mind!

So, what in our hands?

A lot!

From foregoing, we can conclude nature loves to disturb or change, whereas we like to continue with what we love!!

How do we manage this contradiction – probably one of the biggest?

Here is the key – if you manage the opposite, you shall master the main! It is like – if you manage your weaknesses, you would automatically become strong!!

This reinforces a well-known message – “Manage Change”, but it actually comes with a master stroke of “Mastering the Steady State”! 

Disturbances, chaos or changes are of 2 types – one, which is beyond your control and second, which is within your control.

Here below are two top secrets, on which most humans flounder and blunder:

  1. Chaos or change, which is beyond your control
    Accept and appreciate!
    But never resist or react!!
    Yes; it is as simple as that to manage, yet you find it hard to do. You can break your head over what has become real; but reality remains!
    Chaos is local as well as at large. Consider local chaos as a circle with radius r. If you embrace it, r would either remain same or reduce; if you don’t, r would enlarge!
    Take an example – your dear one got hurt. If you lose your head, you would be anxious or angry and would fail to think in time the next step to alleviate her/his hurt. However, if you keep your head cool, you would swing into right action to address it.
    Nevertheless, by 2nd law of thermodynamics, if you contain or collapse local chaos, it must correspondingly increase it at large. But, that is not your headache.
  2. Chaos or change that in under your control
    Drive it right away and right way!
    But never put it away!!
    Everyone knows it; but seldom does it. Common chore is to allow it to descend and then drive into action. By then, it is generally too late. It is not that all changes are good. If random changes run down to become realities, you run the risk of facing wrong changes.

Key conclusion is – it is in your hands to shrink local circle of wrong chaos/change and swell that of right one! If you do that, it would give you steady run and stable growth!!

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Is goodness good beyond a certain point?

A taste of Goodness! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

If your answer is yes, it is not right!

If your answer is no and you mean to turn to bad after that point, it is completely wrong!!

If your answer is yes and you chose to be neutral – neither good nor bad – beyond that point, then only it is right!!!

Here is why?

During my tenure with a German multinational organization, my colleagues in another group got a new boss. Within few days, these colleagues discovered that he was difficult to deal with. These colleagues decided to stick to their decency, with a hope that boss would change. But that did not happen, even after several months. Over next few further months, some colleagues decided to act difficult with the boss; few would not co-operate or ignore his direction by making one excuse or another. This made the boss very toxic and vindictive against them. There were others, who continued with their good attitude towards the boss. Instead of appreciating, boss started to take his frustration for those, who were acting difficult, on them, overload them with work, yet term them under-performers and timid. Net result was that all employees were unhappy and boss was unrelenting but with increasing frustration.

In a relationship, if you keep tolerating truant behavior of your partner or spouse, you may run risk of lending support to his/her toxic leanings. If your good attitude does not bring a change and you turn it towards bad, it would spell a disaster.

If you keep fulfilling demands of a kid out of love, reasonable or not, you would encourage that kid to become demanding and in turn dictatorial in latter part of life; but if you don’t, without making her/him understand, you would drive kid to become obstinate.

Belief “When goodness does not work, switch to be bad” is a big bane!

This belief is thoroughly blended in the blood of majority. If kindness does not yield result, resort to cruelty; if friendship does not work, find an answer through ferocity; build or break! Most of us seem to swing between two extremes. We don’t let go; don’t call it quits or ignore. And this is what turns a beauty into burden, blessing into bane and great into grim. We would justify our wrong action under cover of having tried right one. That is bunk!

This goes on micro to macro levels. Look at how handling of terrorism has been goofed and lives of millions made ever unsafe!

When things don’t work out for us, most of us have learnt to derive emotional satisfaction through blame games, biases, bashing, banishing, booing, anger, antagonism or abandonment! Often, one sees immediate results; but that is an illusion; it is actually the making of worse things to come!! World over, everyone thinks that wrong means can win him/her right; but every time everyone has been proved wrong. That is what human history shows. Moreover, if you rendezvous with or resort to bad means, you run risk of losing your goodness for good.

So, if good does not give results, going for bad is never a good option!

Endless goodness is not good either!

If you do it right or good, you would get good results. You would then be tempted to do more of it. At one point, it would give rise to greed, addiction to good and then things start to go down. Take any example – loyalty of an employee beyond a certain level becomes a liability and employer would subtly start to dislike it. Dedication above a certain decibel is disastrous.

Endless goodness would end you up exploited in hands of evil or bad ones! Worst still is that any strong attribute such as endless goodness is like an electric charge, which would attract the opposite and set you on a course of collision.

So, never forget that good is really good until it hits a limit!

Being neutral is next to good!

Learning and practicing to be neutral is one of the nicest things to do. When things don’t work out despite your best try, it is pointless to keep trying same way. Leave it and come to a neutral point. Just take no position, neither left nor right. Be at the center and watch for things to settle on their own.

To come to center or neutral state, you can do one or most of following:

  • No reaction or emotion, just observation of what is going on
  • Be silent and serene; but not stern
  • Ignore, if need arises
  • Neither bend nor back-out
  • Never give-in; but you should let go
  • Stick to facts and stay unruffled
  • Maintain calm and candor
  • Do communicate but concisely and precisely
  • Remain firm and fair

When you are neutral or at center, you would make unique experience of:

  1. Sowing in you seeds of decisiveness
  2. Learning divinity in detachment
  3. Understanding what it means to hold your feet firmly on ground
  4. Raising your self-esteem
  5. Finding real purpose in your pursuits

To sum up, if goodness is gold, your ability to go to center would add to its glitter!

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