Tag Archives: Ego

If you want to begin 2017 with a bang, put your faith on four fundamental equations

Dec 31,2016 / By

abcThere are 4 fundamental forces, which govern all what happens in our universe – gravity, electro-magnetism, strong and weak forces. Likewise, there are 4 basic equations that govern all what we do.

We spend days and decades doing our things; but most of us fail to see how things are interwoven or interconnected. There exist clear cut relationship between causes and consequences or events and effects.

Here below are 4 equations that are universally applicable from the strongest person to the weakest in our world and give you command on the results from what you do:

  1. You believe = What you perceive or conceive repetitively
    This equation is the mother of your ideas, beliefs, tendencies, traits or habits. It shows that beliefs do not come from blue; but you actually build them. Whatever you think or observe on a repetitive basis or you are made to do so, you would start to believe it, regardless it is right or wrong.
    This equation governs your learning in school, college or elsewhere. It builds your fantasies, fascinations, faith to fundamentalism or fanaticism.
    One of the far reaching repercussions of this equation can be observed across the world – humans are very prone to negativity; our attention is very quickly drawn by adverse scenarios or news. We tend to think, talk and see more of wrong or depressive things and in that process, we build up wrong beliefs or ideas resulting in our anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, doubts, depression or superstition.
    So, to develop good ideas or right beliefs, you have to perceive or conceive right things.
  2. You become = What you believe
    If you believe in dynamism, you are bound become dynamic. If you put your belief in leadership qualities, you can never be a laggard. You want to stand tall, nobody can make you small.
    If you believe that you can be a singer, engineer, professional or public icon, you would become that. All that you need is a belief, which is unquestionable and unshakable; which you would not doubt or dither, go back and forth. You would relinquish anything that comes as a roadblock; but not reverse that belief. Then, such powerful belief would automatically push you to pursue what you want to be, develop a passion and open door of opportunities to get there.
    This relationship works both way; so if you believe you cannot become someone you like, you would not.
  3. You get = What you give
    Often bosses complain that their sub-ordinates do not respect them; but then they are oblivious of the fact that they do not deal with them with respect. If you give smile, then it is not possible that people would not return it with smile. If you give trouble, you would necessarily get in trouble. You love someone sincerely; it is impossible that person would not fall in love with you.
    So, you get what you give. It is universally applied to all of your actions without exception.
    If we fail to notice such a simple cause and effect relationship, it is only because of our ego, biases or obsession, which blinds us to see what exactly we are doing or giving.
  4. You see = What you sow in your mind
    One morning, you wake up in great spirits and you find everything going great that day. But, another day, you get up with low energy and esteem, though nothing has changed externally.
    So, what has actually changed?
    It is ideas and images, which you have sown in your mind previous day, during dreaming or first few moments after waking up that have actually changed for good on 1st occasion and for worse, in case of 2nd.
    So, you would always see, what you have sown in your mind. Positive and negative aspects or angles of everything exist side by side. Depending upon what is in your mind, you start to focus on plus or minus or mix of the two and you fathom things accordingly.
    If you want to see things in order, you have to put your mind first in orderly state. If you like to witness happiness around, you have to be happy. But, if you have roped in miserable ideas in mind, you would only reap miseries.

So, these equations give you complete control on whatever you want to believe, become, get and see!

What else do you need in 2017 and beyond?

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Why likes of Trump would not only survive but always thrive

Nov 11,2016 / By
Portrait of angry boss shouting at his secretary through megaphone who is indifferent to it

How not to get bulldozed by bully! Image source – flickr.com

Look at any country, company, community or family – difficult person or people always dominate and decent ones lie low. In a school classroom, naughty students are always noticeable and receive teachers’ most attention; but nice ones find themselves neglected.

In just concluded US Presidential race, it is widely believed that both of main contenders were difficult personalities; but then what made Donald to trump Hillary?

Few days back, a respectable Indian newspaper carried an article penned by a well-known writer about 2 drug lords – Pablo Escobar of Colombia in real life and Walter White in reel life. She narrated how impressed she was by their sheer dynamism and determination, sharp minds and wished that such unmatched talent could be channelized for good cause of our society. She is not alone in her thoughts of compassion and sympathy. Most of us are very fascinated by villain-heroes, who are on relentless pursuit and ruthless run for a cause they believe as fair but by flouting every law. What most or masses always mistake in understanding that massive energy and enigma of such heroes exist only because they are villains!

The seed for power and popularity

The seed for power, position and publicity is in man’s Ego. If level of ego in a person is above certain threshold, it creates uncontrolled desire and drive for name and fame, nurtures blind belief – “I am the one, who alone can be right and can do it.” Mind of such person gets shut from realities and respect for others.

If you have watched Donald Trump, he enjoys extra high level of ego, much beyond the threshold, when compared with his rival/s.

By-products of ego are arrogance and reckless run for one-upmanship and showmanship. On a larger platform in a country or company, ego and its by-products are often misunderstood – ego is perceived as esteem or pride; arrogance is projected as great confidence and reckless pursuit is pronounced as passion. It is more prevalent in developed societies, who like to gloss over qualities in preference to quantities. I have been privy to host of such incidences during my tenure with a US multinational company.

Spreading negativity and then making positive promises

It is very easy to declare things are bad; but it is difficult to say things are good since that would need intelligence and patience to substantiate. People easily get alarmed when they are told that things are going to be bad. It evokes their emotions and creates confusion.

Likes of Trump master the art of painting a dismal picture of present even if it is rosy, exploiting people’s emotions and manipulating those with positive promises. Therefore, the slogan “I would make America great again” has gone down pretty well with public, not knowing by which account USA has indeed gone down!

People sympathize with who they perceive as victim or powerless

We often misunderstand mindset of masses.

If you have noticed, throughout election campaign in USA (and that happens even elsewhere), rivals and media were busy exposing (bad) truths about Trump but never brought his myths in focus. He was smart enough to project himself as victim in the hands of media and party in power. He could translate it into public sympathy. On other hand, Hillary could never be seen as victim of allegations by her rivals, as she was once in powerful position and now backed up party in power.

Virtues of one in power can easily be translated into vices by the one who is powerless.

So, as long as we succumb to our ego and negativity especially fears, likes of Trump would always succeed and we will not be able to wield our true strength!

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Baggage that you carry at the back of your mind is your biggest bottleneck!

Mar 22,2016 / By

Baggage at back of mind! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

One fine morning you get up with bad feelings and start to wonder what has happened to you today! You feel tired or lazy; things look hopeless and you witness lot of things going wrong. You are unable to figure out what has really gone wrong. Your health, blood pressure and everything around you are otherwise as good as previous days.

Some leaders are great communicators. However, you would notice that on some occasions, they are extra-ordinarily effective and inspiring; but there are instances when they do a lousy job. Why? Females are known to have mood swings. Medical sciences surmise that it is because of hormonal changes. Do the swings of what is at the back of their mind swing their hormone levels or hormones swing what is going on in their mind is really not known to science.

There are several star sportsmen like Roger Federer in tennis, Lionel Messi in soccer etc. Sometimes, they are in the best form and other times, they can’t keep with their track records. Why?

The reason behind each of above examples is “What is at the back of his/her mind”, which holds concerned person back; impairs his/her performance; does not allow to do what one attempts to do!

What we mean by “What is at the back of mind”

Though it is a very common term, people seldom know its complete meaning and colossal effect.

Thoughts, information and/or images from your past memory, which are passively present in your mind constitute what is at the back of your mind. Your mind might be actively witnessing an action or making you to perform an action; but these Thoughts, Information and/or Images (TII) constantly influence or rather get mixed up with what you are actively engage with – thoughts or tasks. Sometimes you are aware about it and sometimes you don’t even realize this!

Your beliefs, faith, habits, biases, ego, obsession, fear, anger, anxiety liking or disliking are always part of TII!

Now is the key information hitherto little known – what is at the back of our mind (passively present) has been termed for centuries as “Subconscious mind”! On other hand, what is being witnessed now (actively present) is our “Conscious mind”!!

“What is at the back of mind” is more a bane than blessing!

If you believe that having things at the back of your mind i.e. in subconscious mind do good to you, then start to rethink.

Things that can reside at the back of your mind are countless. Some of the significant ones are:

  1. Love or respect for someone
    If it is balanced, it is bound show up for a right reason and at a right time. Then, it works well. But if you are overwhelmed, then it resides at the back of your mind. You would tend to overdo and in that process, mess it up.
  2. Past performance or incidences
    When you are able to pull from your memory only lessons learnt, it would help. Instead, if you keep images of past incidences at the back of your mind, it would lead to over or under confidence and that would impair your performance, rather than improving it!
  3. Anger, anxiety, fear or stress
    These rampantly reside at the back of mind of everyone, cause most issues and mood swings. These lead to pessimism and hopelessness.
  4. Attention deficit and absent mindedness
    These are the prime causes of mistakes and mishaps.
  5. Prejudices and ego
    These are foundation stones for arrogance, split personality, irritation and tendency to blame or pass on buck to others!
  6. Multitasking
    Only when you keep several tasks or items at the back of your mind that you would multitask. Although most people defend merits of multitasking, it actually messes up their efficiency.
  7. Feeling pain in the body
    When feeling of body pain remains at back of your mind, it is frustrating and nagging. If you divert your mind i.e. take it away from back of your mind, then pain decreases or disappears. 
  8. Feeling lethargic or inertia
    There are days, when you feel withdrawn or lackluster; enthusiasm in you is missing and initiative lacking. You are at loss to understand, what has happened to you. These symptoms are because you are passively struggling with your thoughts at the back of your mind, leading to confusion and reaction and that alters levels of mainly 3 hormones in your body – Adrenaline, Cortisol and Norepinephrine.

What is at the back of mind is a burden, you must get rid of!

Right from childhood, mind gets so used to keeping thoughts, images and information (TII) at the back of mind that we start to believe that it is a necessity and we can’t live without same. This belief has been further reinforced by innumerable books and articles on importance of subconscious mind, which as a matter of fact promotes keeping things at the back of mind, albeit only positive ones. What one forgets – if you keep positive things at the back of mind, it is impossible to prevent negative things to also creep in! 

My research for years has revealed that whatever is at the back of your mind – good or bad – it does not do anything good to you! It is a burden worth dumping it away!! Some of you may then start to wonder what would happen to your knowledge, notions, traits or beliefs. 

It is too simple to believe what can work wonders:

  • Practice to keep knowledge/information, ideas and images in your memory but not at the back of your mind.
    Let it not be passively present in your mind; allow it to sleep in your memory. 
  • Do your things unmindful of your past; don’t prejudge or predefine; just witness whatever is happening.
  • Allow your conscious mind to take control and respond to what you witness.
    You would be amazed to see how your mind would automatically fetch knowledge or information from your memory right at nick of time or as needed.
    Most innovations, creativity, breakthroughs and successes have come to people, when their mind was functioning like this!!!

So, a mind without any baggage at its back is amazingly powerful, peaceful and progressive! Any elaboration further would only belittle its phenomenal effects; you need to experience it by doing it!!

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Wish to make 2016 awe-inspiring? Make reverse resolutions!

Dec 30,2015 / By

Momentous moments to usher in a new era! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

When “what we are going through” approaches the end, we feel relieved and look forward to the turning point! Suddenly, we feel nostalgic, euphoric with burning desires and renewed hopes!! We like to bundle up the past and begin a new journey in the New Year. Casually or seriously, we resolve to do something that we could not do earlier.

It has become a ritual to make new or renewed resolution/s on New Year. With that comes a challenge – what we are able or like to do, we would have started doing it earlier; hence, our resolution/s invariably come for what we were unable to do, hoping that we would be able to do it this time, even though we don’t bring any change to make it happen!

Therefore, history repeats – we fail to make our resolutions real again, since nothing usually changes except for our excitement over digits of year increasing by 1! 

So, why not look at 2016 through a different lens?

What you have not been able to do in past, you would not be able to do it in present, unless you change your approach and increase will-power. But then, it is not easy for everyone. However, what you have been doing, it is conceivable that you can resolve not to do it! This is what I call “Reverse resolution/s”.

Think over – can you move forward, unless you control or crush what takes you backward? Can you hope to become dynamic, without dropping what makes you dull or docile? So, secret of life is in scrapping the showstoppers for show to start and succeed!

How about considering reverse resolution/s for one or more of the following:

  1. I shall not live in the past!
    This resolution can be the most significant and rewarding.
    Our past comprises of knowledge and emotions. When we say living in the past, it essentially means living by past emotions, which is a single source of all of our banes, limitations or weaknesses! Contrary to popular beliefs, past emotions always bring pains, although we perceive these give pleasure!
    Get rid of your past emotions; it would rekindle and revolutionize your life!
  2. I shall not give up what I choose to do!
    Choose consciously what you want to do; but once you decide, giving up is a worst idea, unless it turns out to be a wrong choice. Your determination to not to give up opens numerous doors of new opportunities.
  3. I shall not expect others to be what I can’t be!
    When above is not done, conflict unleashes for supervisors and subordinates, politicians and public, friends in relationship or spouses in marriage!!
  4. I shall not live in doubts!
    Living in doubts is like living in dark cell; leading a double standard life!! When you entertain doubts, you can never be genuine and truthful. You can never qualify to be a leader!
  5. I shall never neglect my health and happiness!
    Maintaining good health and happiness is primary duty of all; but most consider it secondary, which is a shame!!
  6. I shall not live in my comfort zones!
    Humans have natural tendency to build and live in comfort zones, which actually make them laggards and impede progress.
  7. I shall not move with crowd!
    If you want to make a difference and come in lime light, you must do things differently than what the crowd does.
  8. I shall not put down anyone nor please everyone!
    We have strange liking for 2 extremes e.g. either we want to put down or please others! We can create a much better work place or a world to live, if we give space and respect to everyone. None other than we are the chief beneficiary from same!!
  9. I shall not allow my ego and biases to overwhelm me!
    Most people feel high on their ego and biases; whereas these actually create lows for their character and charisma!!
  10. I shall not pass on the buck for my troubles to others but own up!
    If you take responsibility for what you are and what you face, you would become supremely confident and courageous to attain new heights!

So, how about adopting some of above to make 2016 a game changer for you?

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9 unique but simple steps to build/boost your confidence!

Dec 18,2015 / By

Confidence and charisma go hand in hand! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Confidence is one quality, which you need universally at all times and spaces. You need it in board room or bed room; whether you are an interviewer or being interviewed; you are addressing an audience or asking a question; whether you are a supervisor or subordinate; you want to build a relationship or break it; whether you are joking or juggling around!

Confidence brings you dynamism as well as optimism. It improves your body language, as also spoken language!

What exactly is confidence!

Surf the internet and you would find host of articles/information on what is confidence; but it does not hit the right chord and leaves you confused.

Correct definition of confidence is “Alignment of mind and body, with no thoughts that drag you in the past”!

So, when you feel confident, you would observe that your mind and body work in full synchronism. You feel good, when you are confident. Therefore, your body releases happy hormones – endorphins, dopamine and serotonin.

9 steps to secure and soar up your confidence

There are lot of material and advisories available on subject; none other than following steps can drive you towards the very definition of confidence:

  1. Do only what you believe
    Do not venture into any talk or task for which you don’t have conviction. You would always be better off by not doing anything when you lack belief.
  2. Believe in self
    If you can feel your thoughts and breaths, it proves that you have all powers as anyone else on this planet. Rope this in your mind as your top belief!
  3. Listen and learn
    Talking is least important but listening cum learning is most. Read and learn the subject, you want to deal keeping no pressure on mind.
  4. Make and take notes
    Very important is to write down key points when you listen, read or mull. Supplement those by your own explanations.
  5. Be optimistic
    What has to go wrong would go wrong; but what has to go right would also go right! So, shade away your anxieties, fear and pessimism.
  6. Be enthusiastic
    Whatever you do, do it by your heart; love it; take pride in it whether big or small. That makes your mind positive!
  7. Keep it simple and straight
    Surprised that simplicity brings confidence? It certainly does!
    When you keep it simple, your mind will not get cluttered with too many thoughts. It would keep only relevant thoughts and that it key to bring clarity and confidence in you.
    If simplicity is gold; keeping it straight adds to its glitter. You would hit the point directly and avoid getting digressed.
  8. Be respectful
    You can be truly respectful only when you raise your self-esteem and reduce your ego. When you give respect – be it your boss, customer or audience – you get it back and that is a sure shot to swell your confidence.
  9. Keep fit
    Staying fit is one of our top duties. Put your faith in balanced diet and exercises. Yoga and focusing on your breathing with eyes closed (extremely simple and effective form of meditation) help you to align your body and mind.

So, how about taking above steps forward to bring/boost confidence? Return gift that you would get is charisma!

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