Tag Archives: Disappointments

Our day to day dilemma or delusion – Schrödinger’s cat is dead or alive?

yes-nein-or-yein

Yes, Nein or Yein? Image source – flickr.com

My wife is a cleaning freak and is currently on house cleaning spree because of upcoming major Indian festival. I had been expecting that any day my bedroom cupboard would be upside down, albeit organized as is where basis by her standard. But, it had not happened.

Today morning, I walked down to my cupboard to fetch some article expecting least what I witnessed – it was cleaned up, reorganized and I found it hard to lay my hands of what I wanted. I began to feel upset. But, I said to myself – hang on; this is nothing new. It is just my dilemma or delusion whether I would find Schrödinger’s cat dead or alive. Cat is dead; just accept the reality that cupboard has been reorganized regardless of my comfort or discomfort.

You must be facing likes of above situation a number of times every day. If your cell phone rings when you don’t want to be disturbed, your mind would instantly suspect caller to be one, you don’t want to talk to; but majority of times it would be another person, whom you won’t refuse to talk. Your spouse insists upon you to accompany for shopping and you put extra money not for spending but for not cutting a sorry figure. More often, you would find whole money gets spent, as if your spouse or shopkeepers had prior knowledge of extra money in your pocket.

So, your mind is constantly engaged in tossing the coin – would it be this or that?

Splendid substance behind story of Schrödinger’s cat!

I won’t go into technical or experimental aspects of this story; if you are interested, please go on Google. It is very easy and interesting to understand. What is very important here is to know that such simple idea has led to monumental advancements in every field – technology to physiology. Schrödinger stated that there is no way to know in advance whether the cat, which has been placed in safe part of a chamber but facing threat from unsafe part, is dead or alive unless you observe or open the chamber. If you don’t observe, then cat is neither dead nor alive; it is in state of superposition – a term which Schrödinger or science does not know till today what exactly it is – call it metaphysical. Ironically, many argue that there is unseen force or mechanism in our universe that has prior knowledge.

What Schrödinger or science could not fathom till today is – this idea has great relevance in our day to day life. Most refuse to believe there is science behind our life and there is always life behind science.

Sum and substance of this story

Things, which are in our thoughts or are unseen, have equal probability of actually being alive or dead, this or that, right or wrong, great or gory, successful or setback. Only when things surface or become reality, then we see them in one or another form.

So, game of guessing or tossing the coin that we continuously play is actually futile. There is equal chance that things would turn out to be positive or negative. Your wishing that they be positive does not make you positive; actually it is negative contrary to popular perceptions as that indicates your obsession or addiction to positive. And, if you want it be negative even for a positive reason, it is negative as it indicates your bias or prejudice.

Now comes important link from last week’s post, which is not only proven in life but also by science’s famous law of Complementarity. This law states – you would get result as per type of set up to measure it. Such set up is physical in science but mental in life.

Therefore, if you guess or toss the coin, you are negative and that increases chances of negative results or disappointments. But, if you don’t guess, you are positive (which actually implies you are prepared to accept the reality) and you have higher chances of getting delightful results.

Try above game without cheating; you would be astonished with astounding results!

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How to defeat a disappointing or damning day!

When disappointment drains you! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Sometimes you get up in the morning with not too good a feeling. You do not feel enthusiastic or excited. You feel your energy has been drained. On that day, you may experience lot of things going wrong. You would get into a tiff with your spouse or dear one/s for a trivial reason right in the morning. While preparing to leave for work, you may not find important document which you need to carry or receive an unimportant call, leaving you very irritated. On way to office, you could find this day too many red traffic signals or getting stuck in traffic. On reaching office, you may find e mails from upset customers and receive a piece of mind from your boss, which leaves you wondering what more disappointments are in the pipe line today! You somehow finish your day and retire to bed hoping that a better day would emerge tomorrow!!

Can you be sure that tomorrow morning would be better than yesterday? Normally not! If it turns out to be better, what exactly changes? Most people are unable to figure out or don’t care to figure out. They tend to defer it to their destiny or divine. But, then cycle of decent or damn days continues, so do fun and frustration!

Is it possible to start every morning with same zeal and zest, energy and excitement, hope and happiness? 

Your distress can’t decrease your disappointments; instead it increases!

When things don’t happen as per our wants, we react – why? We feel irritated or infuriated. We reject the things, if those are not right from our view point. We don’t know to accept what has already gone wrong. We rebel or remorse against the reality, if it is bitter; but rejoice, if it is sweeter! This is precisely our problem! Reality is always real, whether we accept or reject; then why treat a reality differently and relate it to our taste?

It has been drilled in our mind that wrong or unwanted things must be greeted with agony, anger or anxiety and embrace right or wanted things with ecstasy. See implications of such approach:

  1. We lean heavily on negativity and hence become prone to same.
  2. Worries or whining is like a whirlpool of distress, which can only suck you deeper! Negativity attracts negativity.
  3. It shakes your confidence and composure!
  4. It fractures your belief in prudence and propriety!
  5. It generates a bias for pessimism!

Your de-stress is key to design your day!

Everyone believes stress is natural; but that does not take away the fact that it plays havoc, regardless how powerful or poor one is! Stress defocuses and disorients you, may be by a small degree. When stress is not major, you may not notice it; but it is there in your sub-conscious mind. Silent stress is far more damaging than loud one, because latter would take you to the peak of your problems quickly and hurt you so much that you would then rush for quick healing!

Silent stress is very challenging because most people are unable to recognize it! It could be as little as a thought that my morning was not good; so now my day would not be good either. This thought is good enough to encourage you to commit a series of mistakes to draw you deeper into disappointment. That day, you are not able to manage your boss, customer, sub-ordinates or spouse as well as you do another day!

Here are few things you could practice to do to defeat an adverse day:

  1. When you get up in the morning, remind yourself that problems are part of life.
    Practical and real world is where problems are present and not absent.
  2. If anything adverse shows up, avoid reciprocating it with your reaction. Just observe and be to yourself.
    We all have learnt that reaction to wrong things is our right; but in reality, this is absurd.
  3. Carry out a simple check in morning and during day – if you are free from stress, you have to be happy; conversely, if you are not feeling happy, you ought to have stress!
    When stress is absent, your energy and excitement levels get boosted!!
  4. Like cancer virus, viruses of ego and prejudices are present in all of us and these substantially weaken our immunity to stress.
  5. Stress, which can be in form of anxiety, anger, agony, fear, frustration or obsession, is nothing but conflicts of thoughts in our mind. Source of such stress is always emotions from your past. So, live in present to live stress free!
  6. Common belief that “what does not start well will also not end well” is bunk!
    It is purely in your hands, when you want to let go your feelings from immediate or distant past. Terrible things can translate into terrific things at any point of the day, by taking a pause and redeeming yourself.
  7. If you are conscious or anxious that thing/s should not go wrong, probability is high that those would go wrong! So, your best bet is not to guess what would go right or wrong.

So, substance of the story is by linking exciting events to euphoria, you also link disappointing happenings to your distress. Drop both links; you would then gain freedom to freely design your day!

How about enjoying this freedom?

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Discover how to defeat your Disappointments n Depressive feelings!

Discovering a solution; Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Great leaders’ sayings, golden quotes, good advises, tested truths or terrific experiences carry no value for those, who are disappointed or depressed! Disappointments and depressive feelings are like hunger, when any talk about which food is healthy or harmful loses its relevance; a hungry person just wants food to eat!! In both the cases, emotions are overwhelming; but people often fail to differentiate what they do to resolve. The solution to problem of hunger is to eat food and that everyone does. On the other hand, while facing problem of disappointments or depressive feelings, person rejects the very solution! Is not it ironical?

Why is that?

The problem lies in the way we have learnt to perceive a problem!!!

Most perceive that a problem is pointless and has to bring pain!

Since childhood, it has been drilled in our mind that problem is a bad word. If we created a problem in our early hood, we were punished. We have been taught in schools how people reacted against problems; how problem makers were suppressed or penalized. That is not wrong or right; but one adverse impact is most of us have harbored habit to react negatively when faced with problem. A problem invariably invites negative emotions in us; it could range from frustration to fury, disenchantment and disillusionment to distress and depressive feelings. As it is, human mind falls prey to negatives far in excess of positives and hence negative emotions sucks you more into negative spiral, which could turn into wild thoughts and/or actions.

It is because of above, when we face problem/s, we simply sink! We don’t want to heed to anything sensible. Our senses prevail, only when it starts to hurt our conscience or creates damages, which instill fear in us. It is then that we start to take corrective actions to address the problem!

Our paradigm that problems are pointless must undergo a shift! It is not necessary that a problem has to bring pain or evoke our negative emotions!!

Treat problems as part and parcel of life!

If anyone claims on this planet that he/she never faces problems has serious problem! Everyone from strongest person of world – US President to wealthiest ones like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have their share of problems. If you still see them smiling, it is because they treat their problems differently.

Pluck following low hanging fruits to change your perspective on problems:

  1. Don’t have phobia of problems. If problems have to come, they would and hence, offer no resistance. It is your resistance to problems, which creates pains!
  2. Once a problem is before you, you would react. But, never act upon 1st reaction of your mind.
  3. More than 80% of problems are self-made!
    Your preset expectations, envy or comparison with others, desires/obsession, clash with your ego or comfort and conflict with your biases account for these, which invariably lead to negative emotions. So, you are focal point, from where most problems emanate!
  4. Recognize a problem; never reject or gloss over it.
    Once you recognize and accept, you would not waste your energy by recapitulating and repenting for efforts you made. You would realize something you did was not right. You need to find out what it was.
  5. A problem is called a problem, only when it has a solution.
    Solution is what you now have to find out by yourself or with help of others. Something, that does not have a solution, becomes sacrosanct as truth.
  6. Once you know the solution, don’t look back; simply implement even if that means radically different route to take.

Dare your disappointments and depressive feelings (Ds)

Here are some golden rules:

Rule # 1

Only when you dare, you can defeat!

Rule # 2

Value of efforts is far higher than the effects (results)!

So, if you made your sincere efforts, never feel dejected if effect or result did not fructify. Results only determine the direction. But, never refuse to follow, what result directs you to do.

Rule # 3

Rule 1-2-3 & Go always applies!

If 3 consecutive attempts did not get to your goal, quit making such attempts. One of the 2 things must change – your approach or goal, since either of 2 is not worth for you. Don’t wait or feel depressed; just make a radical shift.

Rule # 4

Consequences of conscious choices made are not meant for grumbling but for learning!

Don’t think – what’s wrong in grumbling; you would definitely goof in learning!!

Rule # 5

Setbacks provide best opportunity to learn and succeed! 

If you put your faith in this, you can’t be disillusioned or depressed!! Setbacks, irrespective how many, sting only when you don’t consider those as opportunities.

Rule # 6

Problems or failures don’t pull down heaven; but negative emotions emanating from those do put you in hell!

Rule # 7

Negative emotions swell when mixed with negative ones; but sink completely against positive ones!

Eventually, only way to survive and succeed is to counter your Ds by evoking your positive emotions or thoughts.

So, consider your classical notions about failure as opportunities; then opportunities would chase you!

While penning above thoughts and truths, I have been constantly wishing if I could help you, if faced with disappointments! What do you think?

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