Tag Archives: Optimism

9 unique but simple steps to build/boost your confidence!

Confidence and charisma go hand in hand! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Confidence is one quality, which you need universally at all times and spaces. You need it in board room or bed room; whether you are an interviewer or being interviewed; you are addressing an audience or asking a question; whether you are a supervisor or subordinate; you want to build a relationship or break it; whether you are joking or juggling around!

Confidence brings you dynamism as well as optimism. It improves your body language, as also spoken language!

What exactly is confidence!

Surf the internet and you would find host of articles/information on what is confidence; but it does not hit the right chord and leaves you confused.

Correct definition of confidence is “Alignment of mind and body, with no thoughts that drag you in the past”!

So, when you feel confident, you would observe that your mind and body work in full synchronism. You feel good, when you are confident. Therefore, your body releases happy hormones – endorphins, dopamine and serotonin.

9 steps to secure and soar up your confidence

There are lot of material and advisories available on subject; none other than following steps can drive you towards the very definition of confidence:

  1. Do only what you believe
    Do not venture into any talk or task for which you don’t have conviction. You would always be better off by not doing anything when you lack belief.
  2. Believe in self
    If you can feel your thoughts and breaths, it proves that you have all powers as anyone else on this planet. Rope this in your mind as your top belief!
  3. Listen and learn
    Talking is least important but listening cum learning is most. Read and learn the subject, you want to deal keeping no pressure on mind.
  4. Make and take notes
    Very important is to write down key points when you listen, read or mull. Supplement those by your own explanations.
  5. Be optimistic
    What has to go wrong would go wrong; but what has to go right would also go right! So, shade away your anxieties, fear and pessimism.
  6. Be enthusiastic
    Whatever you do, do it by your heart; love it; take pride in it whether big or small. That makes your mind positive!
  7. Keep it simple and straight
    Surprised that simplicity brings confidence? It certainly does!
    When you keep it simple, your mind will not get cluttered with too many thoughts. It would keep only relevant thoughts and that it key to bring clarity and confidence in you.
    If simplicity is gold; keeping it straight adds to its glitter. You would hit the point directly and avoid getting digressed.
  8. Be respectful
    You can be truly respectful only when you raise your self-esteem and reduce your ego. When you give respect – be it your boss, customer or audience – you get it back and that is a sure shot to swell your confidence.
  9. Keep fit
    Staying fit is one of our top duties. Put your faith in balanced diet and exercises. Yoga and focusing on your breathing with eyes closed (extremely simple and effective form of meditation) help you to align your body and mind.

So, how about taking above steps forward to bring/boost confidence? Return gift that you would get is charisma!

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How to accelerate arrival of your golden or defining moments!

Arrival of golden moment! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

(Credit for this post goes to one of the guests visiting this website, who inspired me to pen it.)

Everyone experiences his/her golden or defining moment once or several times during life time. Such moment or turning point is an extremely important event, when you feel a step change in your paradigm! To many, defining moments are very conspicuous; whereas others may not be conscious of same. However, if you become aware of golden moments’ arrival, you can reap rich dividends.

Defining moment of Mahatma Gandhi came on 7th June, 1893, when he, the 24 year old Indian lawyer in South Africa, was forcibly ejected out of a train by local authorities in middle of night and winter for holding valid ticket for first-class compartment but refusing to move to third-class. Immediate aftermath of this incidence gave birth to future leader of unprecedented non-violence movement that no one else could imagine earlier!

Defining moment of iconic tennis player Steffi Graf came not by winning first time Wimbledon final, but by beating then world’s no. 1 ranked player Martina Navratilova in Lipton Cup semifinal in 1987!

Let me share 2 of several defining moments, which I have experienced so far. 1st one came, when I was in 4th standard in school and my class teacher came to meet my mother. Being afraid of her, I had hidden myself; but I heard her complaining that I am not good at studies. That moment changed my academic performance down side up for years to come. Next one came for a very strange reason. Having score good marks, I had to apply for 5 year engineering graduation under family pressure, though my core interest was to go for research in physics. I then tried to fail myself in 1st year by deliberately not preparing well (not an honest act!) and demonstrate to my family that engineering is no good for me. Yet I passed through. That fateful day taught me “Nothing is impossible”!

What happens, when defining moments arrive?

  1. All pieces of your erstwhile puzzle or struggle fall in place to hand over success to you!
  2. You experience a step change in your paradigm and perspective! 
  3. Bright light of thoughts signals the end of dark tunnel, you have been in.
  4. You feel inspired and incredibly confident.
  5. You are truly ready to let go your past and start a fresh lease of life.
  6. You experience new energy and new balancing point of your life/pursuits.
  7. You indeed start to see obstacles as pieces of opportunities!
  8. Optimism and openness displace obscurities!
  9. You would experience outburst of emotions or euphoria!

So, your defining moment reveals your real-self! It unleashes your hidden potential!!

What brings your defining/golden moments!

There are a variety of situations:

  1. When series of setbacks eventually land you with success.
  2. When you are at the brink of a crisis or disaster, but you are able to bounce back.
  3. After breaking-down, you get breakthrough!
  4. After strenuous journey, you reach a scenic destination.
  5. You encounter severe adversity; but your solid efforts bring you excellence!
  6. Your intense endeavors lead to innovations!
  7. Your focused efforts, even in event of failures, start giving you fruits! 

Invariably golden moments arrive when your struggle with negative situations starts to deliver success; from lows, you experience highs; odds translate into opportunities! When you are stuck with your work or relationship, your sincerity appears to have lost significance, you are deprived of what you deserve, results are remote and then suddenly you see things starting to fall in place and your hopes begin to build, is when your golden moments arrive!

Now, how to accelerate the arrival!

Yes; you have power to accelerate!

Rule# 1

Never become negative, when negative events overtake!

Look around; negative news always get highlighted. Masses do mistake of dealing or greeting difficulties with anxiety, anger, frustration, impatience and pessimism. You would be under tremendous pressure from your own mind to follow what you normally witness; but never succumb to this temptation.

Rule# 2

Don’t flick between negatives and positives!

This is where most goof. Facing odds, they somehow gather courage and make genuine efforts. But, when results don’t show up, they go back and squander what they did. Hold on resolutely to the right, come what may! You must double your drive against negativity until it diminishes.

Rule# 3

Never give up hope for good!

Under pressure, you would have every reason to believe that manipulation, greed or evil survives; but history shows that is never ever!

Rule# 4

When good arrives, don’t get addicted to it!

Good is alluring, especially if it comes after bad and you would tend to get addicted to it. Don’t get obsessed with good results; you would forget what you did to get that and then go back. Think having or being good is just a normal way of your life!

Rule# 5 

Live in present and for goals of your life!

No matter what is your preaching or learning, fact is no one being or thing is more important than this to you! Mere intentions would be harmful; but implementation would be heavenly!!

Rule# 6

Do not stumble due to step change! 

When such moments arrive, many fall in utter disbelief! They don’t manage such momentous moments well. They become ecstatic, get ego boost or go overboard and in the process, they bugger it up! Embrace this change with élan and humility. Endure it to bring new order in your career or life!!

So, why not glitter your life by attracting your golden moments?

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Secrets behind why happy-go-lucky people are usually healthy!

Being Happy-go-lucky! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

By happy-go-lucky people, I don’t mean those, who are thick skin, carefree, care-the-less or who appear to keep themselves aloof from pain but not from pleasure! I am referring to those people, who keep themselves happy and able to manage their stress well!

I am sure that you know some happy-go-lucky people. To understand what they do and what works for them, let us first look at following examples:

  1. Doctors rarely fall prey to diseases they treat!
    Practicing doctors rarely fail to attend to their duties. They usually do not pick-up infections from the patients they treat. Popular belief is that by getting exposed to infections repetitively, they become immune and that they take precautionary measures like washing their hands after checking their patients etc. But, many doctors are not known to take such precautionary measures. Then, there are several social workers, whose pursuit is to meet patients, spend time with them and boost their morals. Even these noble workers hardly get impacted by illness of patients!
    There seems to be no scientific explanation how frequent exposure to infections enhances your immunity! But, one thing is strikingly similar among doctors and social workers – they don’t get disturbed and distracted from diseases; for them, it is just a routine!
  2. Why doctors’ evergreen advice in every illness “Be happy; you would be o.k.”?
    You must have noticed this! Doctors do try to create optimism and hopes in their patients!! I have witnessed many, who have faith in their doctors, recover much faster than those, who doubt them. Why?
    It is certain that optimism and hopefulness help your health!
  3. Military people invariably enjoy and sustain sound health!
    Fitness exercises and hard work definitely help maintain good health. But, there are lot of civilians, who are health freaks but don’t seem to benefit as much as military people do. What is worth noting is that military people are healthy; but not necessarily happy!
    There is one stark difference military personnel have as opposed to civilians – they are much focused and don’t allow themselves to get distracted in normal course!
  4. Saintly people are seldom sick!
    They are calm, less complicated and have minimum conflicts of thoughts! Their wants or needs are very little. The net result is a stress free life and that seems to be key to their good health.
  5. During exciting time, excellent health endures like that of bride and bridegroom at time of their wedding!
    When you are truly excited or having a hearty laugh, your body releases such hormones, which make your immune system stronger. At such time, you suddenly find yourself very focused and free from worries!

Now, signs that happy-go-lucky people emit

Compare the above examples with the clear signs, happy-go-lucky people reflect:

  1. They are free from stress or manage their stress well.
  2. They don’t overtly get disturbed by distractions.
  3. They are optimistic and hence dislike company of pessimists.
  4. They strike good balance between work and life.
  5. They are not perfectionists.
  6. They are able to minimize struggle with self.
  7. They take on the life as it comes.
  8. They avoid being furious or frustrated.
  9. They don’t allow dust of doubt and rust of past to set-in!
  10. They never nag and always enjoy what they eat!!

So, we can safely conclude that happy-go-lucky persons are unique combination of unique qualities of medical practitioners, military men to saints and stimulated ones! We often confuse with superficially happy-go-lucky ones, who are complacent, care free or careless, casual or enjoying being in comfort zones! Such people have misplaced happiness.

It is noteworthy that happy people are invariably healthy; but healthy people are not necessarily happy and therefore, eventually they lose good health!

How to be happy-go-lucky!

  1. Gainfully engaged mind brings wellness; whereas idle mind triggers illness!
    As a matter of fact, mind can never remain idle. Typically, when we say idle mind, we mean no physical activity; but our mind is actually busy with conflicting thoughts. A gainfully engaged mind would automatically drive you to do productive work!
  2. Cut down unproductive thoughts and tasks.
    At least half of what we think and do is wasteful. Please look at earlier article on “Want to free-up your time by 50%? Follow just 5 tips fiercely!” Very significant to know here is if you do something wasteful, it is bound to bring associated worries.
  3. Acceptance of “what it is” and feeling gratitude for “what you have” are two great mantras to keep you away from disappointments and dejection.
  4. Welcome problems but work for solutions.
    You may find it difficult to welcome problems; but points 1 and 3 above would act as great enablers.
  5. Whatever happens has both positive and negative built-in. If you tag along with positive, you would be terrific; otherwise it can be terrible!
  6. It may be very surprising but true that full focus and faith in what you pursue is key to “full-of-fun life”!

Being happy-go-lucky surely boosts your immune system and more importantly not allow you to become unhealthy!

So, if you are not happy-go-lucky by destiny or DNA, you can definitely be so by design!!!

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Your Mind is the Emperor; use its power to excel!

Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Stark truth of nature is that nothing is more powerful in your life than your own mind!! Your understanding, knowledge, ability to recognize, to have feeling or sensation and consciousness in general is possible only because of your mind. Life and mind are 2 integral parts of one whole i.e. You!

Mind is as old as life itself; but ironically it is only in very recent years that science has understood its relevance. Science knows constitution of brain; but not of mind. General comprehension is that mind means not only brain; but much more, which is beyond any definition as of now.

What is mind

There is no unanimity as of now on what and where exactly mind is, across all sections of societies and branches of science in the world, though it has supreme spiritual and scientific significance.

There is variety of beliefs about mind, one of which is – it is integral part of the physical body; but it leaves the body when a man dies and enters new life. How and why are unclear! Another school of thoughts or even some faiths state that mind is metaphysical; physically does not reside in our body and is controlled by divine forces. Whatever we may believe, one thing is certain mind is a powerful Maya (illusion) and mirage!

 Most widely acceptable idea is that mind is closely linked to the brain; it cannot be physically observed but its effect can be seen and captured through our brain and nervous system. Whatever comes to our mind – images or thoughts, gets stored in the memory of our brain. Our brain has 3 types of memories – sensory, short term and long term, the combination of which ensures encoding of incoming information, storage and retrieval like a computer.

Some of hard realities are that your mind is only linked to you and hence, it cannot be an entity which is separate from you. When you say “Me and my mind”, does it mean 2 separate entities? They are not; both are one and same. You get confused simply because you have to observe as well as assess by one and same one entity i.e. mind!

Rules of mind

  1. Power of mind of all normal human beings is the same!
    Power of mind of the wealthiest person – Bill Gates is no different than that of a poor person or that of highly intelligent person like Einstein to ace golfer Tiger Woods!! The difference lies in degree of its use or misuse.
  2. What differs from person to person is response of mind in identical situations!
    It is totally dependent on past memory of the person.
  3. State of mind is determined by your current thoughts, which is mix of present and past images or memories.
  4. What you would do next is linked to what you are thinking now.
  5. What would happen to you next is largely influenced by how are you perceiving or contemplating now.
    If you are having positive or good state of mind, positive things would happen; good news would come. If you are frustrated, unfolding events would make you more frantic! Most time, you have mixed thoughts which you seldom realize and therefore, mixed results appear, leaving you wondering why that has happened even when you were positive. Fact was that you had mixed state of mind.
  6. Once a thought or image comes in your mind, you can’t erase it!
    All you can do is to allow other thoughts to superimpose on it and that way you get a feeling that you have forgotten it. But remember, it can still surface in future.
  7. Thoughts, which your mind allows to get linked to your sensory or nervous system, become your notions or emotions!
    These would surface in your mind repetitively. This is how your traits, habits or beliefs are formed.
  8. More you try to forcefully remove or repel unwanted thoughts in your mind, more would these resist and persist!
    Only way to remove unwanted thoughts is to allow them to come but ignore!!

Efficient use of mind power

From above it is clear that mind has full role in kind of efforts you make and effects that you realize. It is your mind driving, if you experience:

  • Success or sorrow
  • Ecstasy or enmity
  • Fun or frustration
  • Happiness or hurt
  • Optimism or pessimism

Few things that you can do to make good use of your mind power are:

  1. Practice to focus on just single thoughts.
  2. Observe your thoughts; but don’t obstruct same.
  3. Ignore “conflicts of thoughts” or “unwanted ones” as much as you can.
  4. Stop to live in past.
  5. Reinforce only wanted thoughts.
  6. Repetitively emphasize in your mind that nothing negative, however tempting or justifying, would ever help. It can only hurt!
  7. Align most of your actions towards your happiness, health and goals of your life.

So, it is all about and in your mind! If you follow above, you are sure to get command on your life or destiny!

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How to save and make your day!

There are days, when you get up in morning with weird feelings and cannot figure out what is wrong. Events, which unfold on such days, keep you on the edge. You do not see most things going right; get a feeling that time is slipping out and opportunities being squandered by you!

There are other days, when you wake up excited. Looking outside through your bed room window, you find grass is greener, sky clearer and things looking brighter! Suddenly, optimism dawns on you.

What exactly changes on above 2 sets of days? Most people falter or fail to fathom; consider it as part of life or luck!

What can you do, when things and time are slipping from your hands!

You would commonly observe one or more of following happening, when you believe is a bad day:

  1. Your mind is pre-occupied with some disappointment, distress or delusion.
    May be that you had a bad dream early in morning.
    This state is purely because of your past emotions. Stop doing anything for few minutes, move away from other people and go deeper in your thoughts to find out what thought is bothering you. If you can do something about it, do it now or fix another time when you would do that. If nothing can be done, drop it from your mind. If may reappear; drop it again.
    Learn one thing, past emotions are no more than a newspaper, which you have read and its value is no more than a scrap! Initially, you may find it hard; but eventually, you would get a grip.
  2. You are over-anxious to get something; but it does not come through.
    So, you feel irritated or infuriated.
    You need to accept the fact that what makes you anxious cannot be an asset for you. So, why bother if it is not with you, irrespective how dear it may be to you. Actually, you should correct your perception that it is dear to you; you are actually obsessed with it. More obsessed you are more obstacles you would face.
  3. You commit one mistake after another and hence, getting very frustrated.
    This can only happen, if you are mired with past. Take a break, shake your head and observe that you are doing only what you are supposed to. Be clear with your past – good or bad, that these are images recorded in your mind. Playing or replaying these images is absurd. What actually bothers you always is emotional part of these images. Give importance to only information part of these images; because that is your knowledge. Use it only when you need!
  4. You are under fire from your beloved or boss.
    Just take the fire, return smile and tender apology, even if you were right, for doing something he/she did not like and putting him/her to inconvenience. You may find this difficult to accept and do. But, try by heart and see the miraculous impact. What people see as a loss would be your win.
    It would be divine, if you do this with your sub-ordinates. Don’t fall prey to belief that you would belittle yourself; you would actually boost your image.
  5. You are in a rush!
    You cannot imagine gaffes you commit, while in rush or huff!
    You can only do certain no. of things in a given time. If time available to you now is shorter, look at what you can cut down or do it later, rather than compressing too many things for the last lap and then skip important ones like your meal, prayer or saying bye to your beloved, if you are rushing for work only to discover you have forgotten something or too many red signals on road!
  6. You do not get what you desire!
    This is bunk!! Learn one fact of life – you would always get what you deserve; not what you desire. Accept to what you get and then you can delve for more by becoming more deserving.
  7. Your efforts failed!
    You can fail, only when your efforts are not good enough. May be that you don’t know what is good enough; don’t hesitate to take help of someone, who can mentor or guide you.

Now, to make your day!

Can you convert following as your 7 habits?

  1. Set a goal, which you want to go for.
    Even if you are not clear now, set something and modify it, as you go further. A life without goal is like a day without sun!
    Every day, wake-up to one resolution that whatever you do, it would be in direction of your goal and an incremental step, however small that could be.
  2. Make “being happy and healthy” as mission of your life.
  3. Believe in self; but never blame yourself.
    You can do what others on earth can; it is just a question of finding right way to do it.
  4. Be focused and never give up what you chose or are given to do.
  5. At least do one thing each day, which would be a cause of joy to your boss and bête noire alike.
  6. You are bound to slip; but that would make you sound.
    Detect your slippages as early as you can and be flexible to plug.
  7. You have been gifted with unlimited possibilities; unleash some now!
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