Tag Archives: Nature

Why best of partners part their ways in worst manners!

abcGeorge Clooney, famed Hollywood actor was adjudged as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, until he decided to tie the knot with Amal Alamuddin, an international and human rights lawyer, in September 2014. Press has written lot of love stories and quotes for the couple; but, it has now reported that their marriage is on the rocks. A more than decade old fairy tale like relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has completely fractured few months back. All the fanfare behind courtship and marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seems to be in doldrums.

Stories of Bollywood or Indian celebrities are no different – break-up of industrialist Nes Wadia and actress Preity Zinta, tennis player Leander Paes and actress Mahima Chaudhary, Sarika and Kamal Hasaan – both from film industry, actor Hrithik Roshan and interior designer Sussanne and so on.

Forget the celebrities, look at common people as partners, whom you believe as best in your neighborhood and you may discover that their partnership is not easy.

It seems to a very common feature that what ensue on the best nod ends on a worst note. What was prominent to start with, equally or more painful is to end with a relationship. It appears as if it is an order arranged by nature.

Our notion or definition for what makes it best is much fractured

Two very attractive faces, two equally and highly qualified spouses, two strong or influential personalities or pair from two famous families are perceived as best partners. But, history shows that such pairs cease to live at ease sooner and eventually break up sordidly.

Do you believe that two equally intelligent spouses, two tall partners or two accomplished persons in same profession co-exist congenially? They don’t; they face more disagreements than agreements since each one has his/her own ideas, which he/she would like to prevail with. Arguments fly high and disenchantment grows. It is like two identical polarities repelling each other.

Two best together cannot make best-square or ideal pair. Only when two persons complement each other by their characters and attributes, they make ideal combination. It means that if one is strong headed, other should be mild; if first one is extrovert, other one be introvert. If one is bright; other should be dull. And you would soon realize that it is not very appealing!

So, what is ideal?

The best pair or combination is what is individually balanced!

This is true of any form of relationship. If you want your honeymoon with a customer to last long, you on your part have to be balanced in your dealing – neither too cozy nor too curt.

Popularity or prominence is prone to prejudices

Everyone wants to be popular and be in public eyes. You soon start to enjoy your image and prestige. And, greed goes in your head and you get addicted to have more and more of prominence. This is the starting point of driving a divide between the pair. In initial period, one or both would not even realize or acknowledge that anything wrong is developing; this is stage of denial. By the time one or both wake up, it is already too late normally to normalize back.

So, too much public glare could be gloomy; your high image can lower intimacy with your partner; lot of fanfare about your relationship can turn into source of frustration.

One thing is very clear – if your choice is to build a relationship, you have to choose to banish your biases at all costs!

Partnership is more a game of compromises and not gaining command over each other.

Therefore, your private as well as professional life is at its best if you are balanced and free from biases!

Read More

Are modern day science n stress making us more sick or superstitious?

abc

True image or illusion?

Current US President Barack Obama has revealed in a recent interview that he always carries in his pocket a statuette of Lord Hanuman, small Buddha, silver poker chip etc. and seeks inspiration from same when he feels tired or discouraged. But, he has said that he is not that superstitious.

He is not alone; he has millions of followers!

How gifts and gadgets of science are making you more superstitious

You would find celebrities, artists, leaders, especially from political polity and gen. next more than ever before wearing rings containing specific stones, colorful bands or sacred threads on their wrists or lucky charms to attract good omens. Advancements in multimedia enable millions to watch them like never before and entice them to emulate such practices.

Scientific advancements have given advent to social media and social media have brought together not only colleagues, cultures, traditions, beliefs and rituals from every corner of our planet but also voices of faith healers and fortune tellers. Every other day, I get text message on my cell phone about forecast for my future and what I should do to make it lucky. One day while under duress, one is bound to fall prey to same.

All kinds of wearable devices are now available to monitor nearly all parameters of your body. Everything looks hunky-dory as long as these parameters are within prescribed limits. But what is if some of those go out of limits? You land on the lap of stress, superstition or god for quick fixes. Hardly anyone would run to doctors for every tit and bit; but if someone does it, he/she would create another set of psychological problems.

When you are stressed, you fall either sick or prey to superstitions

Stress has long list of its byproducts – insomnia, IBS, cardio disorder, lever dysfunction, diabetes… and now new research studies including one conducted by Ohio State University have added cancer, as it gets accentuated by stress.

In modern age, there are many more media available to invite stress, leading among which is social media and mobile phones. Social media is a great boon as well as a gruesome bane. It is a classic example of how plus and minus go hand in hand. Thirty years back, we were surviving very well without having even a line of remote communication at home; today we can’t sustain a minute without cell phone in hand.

No one notices, rather dislikes to notice silent stress of taking selfies, posting images supposedly better than previous day, racing to get more likes and repenting if buddies or beloved did not like it.

Untold story of how science has been misused by man

In its original form, science is secular and secures everyone; but depending upon how it is used or applied, it can create values and virtues or vices and viruses; it can develop faith or fear; surprisingly, its positive use promotes spiritualism and negative use prompts materialism.

Though the taste of man or masses is for positive, their recipe is for exactly opposite – negative. That is why scientific facts have been twisted by most people into their fractured faiths i.e. illusions or superstitions and turned on more far right and left wing ideas and ideologies leaving little space for the center or balanced ones. Discoveries of atom and subatomic particles should have consolidated our conviction that god is everywhere but we have pushed him elsewhere – deeper into isolation and places of worship. We have used these discoveries more for destruction than for construction, creating more stress on our system. We have misused stress to create more medicines and manipulated the fact that it is more a matter of mind control.

We hardly know who we are; but we want to jump into bandwagon of knowing who and where aliens are. We are unable to arrest decay of our world colony; but billions of dollars are being spent on race for colonizing Mars and Moons.

But, all is not lost yet, if we can still realize that it is a bad idea to misuse or overuse science, its gifts and gadgets and that it is a bane to drift away from core principles of nature and life!

Read More

Nature demands balancing; else we end up paying through our nose!

Would you ever like to mess up with Mother Nature? Source: http://www.flickr.com/

US was recently hit by one of the severest snow storms, affecting 80 Million people across 20 states and causing serious disruptions and damages. On 26-December- 2004, world was shaken by great Indian Ocean tsunami, which had released energy equivalent of 23,000 Hiroshima type atomic bombs, as per U.S. geological Survey and killing more than 150,000 people! Giant forces, which had been building up deep in the earth apparently for years suddenly got busted on that day, unleashing killer water waves in Indian Ocean at the speed of a jet airliner!!

Are such catastrophes actually retaliations by nature against excessive tempering by man?

Nature has gifted enormous energy reservoirs of oil and gas in extreme terrains and environments in Middle East, Russia and elsewhere, as if hardships are being rewarded with high returns. It seems often common that right things are found at the wrong places and wrong things are found at the right places. Boom in oil and gas production led to unprecedented economic and industrial growth in last 2 decades and its price peaked at US $ 145 per barrel in July, 2008. On one hand, it led to lot of innovations in explorations and extractions like oil/gas from sea using floating platforms, sand containing bitumen and shale gas and stimulated huge investments to build additional production capacities. On other hand, easy money generated by oil and gas business found its conduit to political rivalries, unrests, wars and terror, which has slowly sucked world economies into turmoil and tumbled oil prices to around US $ 30, as of now. No one knows how much of ecological and geological imbalances that we are witnessing are on account of extraction of this commodity in huge quantity from underground and sea!

Look at countries or regions, which have population in excess of available resources. When we look at their history of calamities, it seems to support economic ideas advanced by noted Thomas Robert Malthus in 1798 that unchecked population growth would be countered and compensated by deaths, diseases, wars etc.

Is it that nature refuses to entertain the extremes for too long and endeavors to balance?

Answer is yes; it appears not only true at global or macro level but also at personal or micro level! Look at following examples:

  1. If we hold any item in excess, we tend to consume more and also waste more.
  2. When quantity of anything goes up, quality comes down and invariably, there are more rejections.
  3. When you have wealth in excess of what you can manage, you are more likely to deploy it for wrong or loss making use or it would lie dormant, losing its value significantly over time.
  4. If you have too much knowledge, you develop lot of differences with others, make bad experiences and eventually, it becomes your liability.
  5. If you are too beautiful, you would get too exposed; get into wrong acts only to make beauty your bane.

Nature seems to be overly against overindulgence of any kind!

Excess of anything is bad; but excess of no-thing is also bad!

We all know that anything in excess is bad; but what is very interesting is to know that excess of not doing anything is worse.

If you communicate with people too less, you would be isolated; deprived of opportunities; get in depression inviting clinical advice to mix with people.

If you spend too sedentary a life, you would be sucked into health issues forcing you to change your life style.

So, message of nature is – do little (moderate) of everything that it has provided to you or else face its fury!

Why nature brings down “excess” to “enough”!

There are 2 main reasons –

  1. Nature excels and allow you to excel under state of equilibrium.
    Whenever nature’s equilibrium is disturbed, it would react to restore it. Depending upon type and extent of such disturbance in short or long term, nature’s corrective action can be mild or massive.
    Corporate gurus go gaga over disruptive technologies; but they seem to fall short on their vision of nature’s balancing act!
  2. Law of least chaos demands that each object or area be charge neutral.
    Whether we take atom or universe, it is charge neutral and that is what gives it stability. If any object or part/whole area becomes polarized – positive or negative, it would become chaotic until it gets neutralized again.
    Anger or anxiety, ferocity or fundamentalism of an individual comes, when he becomes net negative; likewise, ecstasy comes when one is highly positive. What is war on terror? It is a struggle between highly negative and positive minds or people! It is not divine driven!!
    Eventually, everyone has to come to normal (neutralized) state, if he/she has to survive!

Drawing a line between what is excess and what is enough!

Common perception is that it is difficult! Difficulty is really with our unwillingness to draw the line itself! Most people like to keep it vague; not realizing that brings serious problems. Then, they derive consolation by blaming their fate or consider it fait-accompli!

“Enough” is always efficient; but “Excess” is invariably extraneous and waste of energy and money!
World leaders and thinkers have so far failed to define importance of such distinction – excess vs enough – and create correct understanding of nature’s demand for balancing or moderation. They are clueless on how crises and conflicts develop, when no thoughts are given to balancing population vs resources, technological advancements vs moral advancements, industrial development vs nature’s development, quantity vs quality.

It is a very simple mantra: 

Line between enough and excess is best drawn, when you differentiate your needs from wants or desires; distinguish your goals from your greed! 

So, for all levels – individual to international – message of Mother Nature is clear – moderation; balancing; stay in center; don’t lean on left or right. You would then surely secure your future and that of future generations!

Read More

Biggest blunder in our world – dealing with “wrong” by going wrong!

When things go wrong! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

To deal with what has gone wrong, we tend to adopt wrong ways! Most of us feel justified in doing so and in that process, we go more wrong and commit more blunders!!

Above self-justification usually comes in 2 ways:

  1. No; we are not doing anything wrong by going wrong, since that is the only way a wrong person or thing can be corrected!
  2. We can’t help going wrong; after all we are human beings!

Justifying what one does is in our DNA. Therefore, we generally don’t care whether our actions bring right results or make things worse.

Open any chapter of history or observe current happenings; writing on wall is very clear –

“Whenever things had gone bad, people had lost their balance or goodness, resorted to bad means and hit the wall. Then either they had come to their senses to do right things and restore normalcy or continued to struggle with no sign of “bad or wrong attitude, approach, behavior or things” abating!”

This saga continues at all levels – from personal to companies to countries. If employees could not meet their targets, hell would be broken loose by bosses. If some sub-ordinates are weak in performance or personality, first thing that a supervisor would do is to ignore or avoid communicating with them. If a profit center in a company has incurred losses, heads would roll. If a kid or household help has broken a glass, we will break lose our temper.

Let us look at what happens when there is conflict among a group of people. Emotions and temper would run high. Conflict escalates. But it ebbs, when counsel by one wise person within the group or from outside prevails on wisdom of the rest and if that does not happen, the conflict would only engulf many more!

Take fanaticism or fundamentalism in several parts of world at this time. Some people are imposing their doctrines or dogmas at global level through terror and killings. To counter or suppress that, some countries use their weaponry technology, power and money muscles, resulting into more killings and further maligning and multiplying those, who are already malignant!

When something goes wrong with our health – common cold, catch in the legs to cancer – most manage to mess it up further. We would become pessimistic, sad, irritated…, though every doctor would advise – be cheerful and hopeful! No doubt, treatment would do its job to cure/heal; but all researches show that evergreen advice of doctors and a good frame of mind would accelerate restoration of health and/or make it much less painful!!

Simplest problem like being in rush, majority mismanages to do everything (avoidable) to go in reverse gear! 

From above examples, it is very clear that wrong approach can never mutilate wrong; instead, it would help it mutate and multiply!

Why nearly all of us go wrong in dealing with wrong

Here is the deal:

  1. Action on basis of 1st reaction of our mind is the easiest thing to do!
    Majority confuses 1st reaction of mind as their instincts and that is a worse gaffe!!
  2. Above spontaneously satisfies our ego and that gives birth to our biases and a feeling of being justified in our actions.
  3. It then leads to cementing the thoughts at the back of our mind that what we perceive as bad or wrong things must be dealt by giving back, pointing fingers, banging, anger, accusation or shouting to physical harm in worst case.
  4. Negativity always sits on our nose and hence is handy; whereas positivity needs patience and peace of mind that we find difficult to practice!
  5. Our history and hormones have inculcated hero cult in us, which gives us sadistic pleasure of seeing offenders or villains being thrashed out verbally or bodily or even finished.
  6. It is for above reason that we feel compelled to retaliate against wrong doings!

Why only “right” has possibility and power to root out “wrong”!

We seem to ignore the simplest analogy or logic, nature has beautifully presented to us:

Identical polarities or charges repel each other e.g. two negative or positive charges would move apart and can’t impact each other; therefore, the two survive individually. But, a positive and a negative charge would collide and cancel each other. By the same token, a wrong or bad can be corrected by right or good, but never by another wrong or bad action! It is also precisely for same reason that wrong brings reaction and retribution, whereas right bestows reconciliation and restoration!!

Unfortunately, aforesaid 6 points create illusion in minds of most what exactly is wrong or right. Clearly, wrong is what creates reactions, raises emotions or temper, conflict or controversy and interference with others.

Right is clearly what creates solutions initially or eventually and would result in:

  1. Evoking tolerance, patience and positive vibes
  2. Eliciting understanding and acceptance of the way others are and why they do things in consonance or contradiction to your expectations
  3. Encouraging open communication on your part
  4. Ebbing or Erasing past memories of your prejudices
  5. Evolving your response, action or judgment without fear but with fairness and frankness

So, if you can rely on what is right as above, you can comfortably deal with or manage what is not right or conflicts, controversy, crisis or even crime at personal, professional or public level, regardless you are employer, employee, supervisor, sub-ordinate, buddy or bête noire!

Read More

What simple and sincere employees or people can do to prevent being manipulated!

Simple but smart at same time! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

To be simple and sincere are invaluable qualities; but irony is employees or people in general, possessing these, are often at the receiving end! I have witnessed and I am sure, several or most of you have experienced how simple and sincere people suffer and complex personalities succeed. The latter walks over the former and thrive.

Bitter pill of our life is that it has become complex, more so in corporate life. One, who is able to talk others out, is considered an effective communicator; those, who are able to play games and put peers into trouble, are perceived as smart and strategists; those with dual faces are recognized as robust! Simple and sincere people are considered as holy cows and harmless creatures, who can be taken as granted. They can be shaken, juggled around and made scapegoat in event of your own failure, without any fear of reaction or rebellion from them.

Is not it unfortunate that instead of rare qualities of being simple and sincere be revered and rewarded, those are constantly subjected to repression, be it a company, society or family? Holy homilies in face of complex world goes for a toss! Seeing such a scenario, those, who by their nature or genes cannot be anything but simple, end up cursing their noble qualities and charter, to their chagrin, a course to become complex and callous!

You can notice what is in vogue in corporate and public life – take pride to talk about simplicity and sincerity but walk out, when it comes to practicing it.

Does it mean to be simple and sincere is a sordid saga?

Weaknesses, simple and sincere (S&S) people unknowingly associate to!

S&S people need to understand that if they go through sufferings, it is their own making. Like it or not, fact is that every problem starts and stops with you.

Here below are cruxes of the problem:

  1. S&S people gain lot of satisfaction and success to start with. As a result, they put more faith in simplicity and sincerity. They start to exercise these qualities blindly and fail to notice when their ownership (on these qualities) crosses over to obsession! Once that happens, they would be willing to make undue sacrifices, retreat and relent often in order that they may not be seen as complex; dividing line between sincerity and over-sincerity or in-sincerity becomes hazy to them!
  2. Consequently, they become meek and mellowed.
  3. For fear of being caught in controversies or complexities, they start to tread safe. They lose appetite for risk taking and avoid taking initiatives.
  4. They become poor in conflict management – a highly sought after quality!
  5. They become averse to assert and hold ground, when they are right.
  6. They dislike to be decisive and firm.
  7. Their self-esteem ebbs and that is a starting point for loss of their confidence!

You can now imagine with so much going wrong as above with S&S people, why difficult and dishonest ones would not have a cake walk over them. That is what you can witness all over the world!

Making Simplicity and Sincerity as your super strength!

If good qualities do not give you good results, believe that you are surely going wrong somewhere. Find out what and why and address what is wrong.

Every good quality, simplicity and sincerity included, comes by thoughtfulness and consolidates through practice and planning. Watch out that wrong qualities are spontaneous and would mutate and multiply by themselves. Good qualities are self-limiting; whereas bad ones have no limits; yet ultimate winner is what is good.

To make S&S your super strength, you can do following:

  1. Make sure that your faith in S&S is complete. Then, you would become straight-forward, suave and honest! You would rise above self and would not fear about complications, controversies or conflicts.
  2. Complex, callous, toxic or temperamental people try to exhibit their courage by creating chaos; as a matter of fact, they are coward. So, never yield grounds to what they claim or choose to do.
  3. Never get perturbed, when complex people push you to the wall. Just observe them with patience. They are bound to commit mistake sooner or later, when you need to catch and tell them to retreat.
  4. Listen more –> talk less –> act more. 
  5. Make silence as your strength and smile as your sword!
  6. When faced with crisis, you may feel insinuated to seek shelter under faulty qualities or practices. But, remember, there is no situation in any walk of life, when you have to become bad to tackle bad! Bad is best tackled by being good!
  7. Be tactical, but never political, be clever/smart, but never cunning; be firm, but never ferocious!
    So, be tactical, smart and firm; otherwise you would be swallowed by sharks around you! 
  8. Link S&S to purpose or goals of your life, raise the bar and make persistent and consistent efforts to reach there. Never be afraid of difficulties, since these are milestones that direct you towards destination! 
  9. Last and most important thing – never mix good and bad qualities; it can only create a mess or make you bad. This is the fundamental mistake, masses commit!
    Goodness can only exist and evolve as a whole and never in parts! Goodness alone can bridge gap between you and God!! If this be the case, why should you ever abandon it?

So, to be simple and sincere is superlative, which in its true form can never frustrate or fail you!

Read More
1 2 3 5