Tag Archives: Gloom

Why best of partners part their ways in worst manners!

abcGeorge Clooney, famed Hollywood actor was adjudged as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, until he decided to tie the knot with Amal Alamuddin, an international and human rights lawyer, in September 2014. Press has written lot of love stories and quotes for the couple; but, it has now reported that their marriage is on the rocks. A more than decade old fairy tale like relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has completely fractured few months back. All the fanfare behind courtship and marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seems to be in doldrums.

Stories of Bollywood or Indian celebrities are no different – break-up of industrialist Nes Wadia and actress Preity Zinta, tennis player Leander Paes and actress Mahima Chaudhary, Sarika and Kamal Hasaan – both from film industry, actor Hrithik Roshan and interior designer Sussanne and so on.

Forget the celebrities, look at common people as partners, whom you believe as best in your neighborhood and you may discover that their partnership is not easy.

It seems to a very common feature that what ensue on the best nod ends on a worst note. What was prominent to start with, equally or more painful is to end with a relationship. It appears as if it is an order arranged by nature.

Our notion or definition for what makes it best is much fractured

Two very attractive faces, two equally and highly qualified spouses, two strong or influential personalities or pair from two famous families are perceived as best partners. But, history shows that such pairs cease to live at ease sooner and eventually break up sordidly.

Do you believe that two equally intelligent spouses, two tall partners or two accomplished persons in same profession co-exist congenially? They don’t; they face more disagreements than agreements since each one has his/her own ideas, which he/she would like to prevail with. Arguments fly high and disenchantment grows. It is like two identical polarities repelling each other.

Two best together cannot make best-square or ideal pair. Only when two persons complement each other by their characters and attributes, they make ideal combination. It means that if one is strong headed, other should be mild; if first one is extrovert, other one be introvert. If one is bright; other should be dull. And you would soon realize that it is not very appealing!

So, what is ideal?

The best pair or combination is what is individually balanced!

This is true of any form of relationship. If you want your honeymoon with a customer to last long, you on your part have to be balanced in your dealing – neither too cozy nor too curt.

Popularity or prominence is prone to prejudices

Everyone wants to be popular and be in public eyes. You soon start to enjoy your image and prestige. And, greed goes in your head and you get addicted to have more and more of prominence. This is the starting point of driving a divide between the pair. In initial period, one or both would not even realize or acknowledge that anything wrong is developing; this is stage of denial. By the time one or both wake up, it is already too late normally to normalize back.

So, too much public glare could be gloomy; your high image can lower intimacy with your partner; lot of fanfare about your relationship can turn into source of frustration.

One thing is very clear – if your choice is to build a relationship, you have to choose to banish your biases at all costs!

Partnership is more a game of compromises and not gaining command over each other.

Therefore, your private as well as professional life is at its best if you are balanced and free from biases!

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Beauty and Banes of becoming or being Big!

 

Size and figures matter to all of us. Notion of what size or figures are appropriate or optimal varies from things to things. We would try to explore whether there could be a universal definition or norm for what is right.

Companies, which are small in size, find it hard to survive in face of bigger ones. When these companies start to do it right, they get success and grow to become big. But, things that they do to get success are precisely what are put by them on the back burner after becoming big! This is what has happened with several companies like Dell, Ford Motor, Siemens, BlackBerry etc.

What is orchestrated below may not be new; but what is surely new is extent of damage the banes can do to the beauty of an organization or even individual!

What bring small size a success

Everything is small in size to start with. Size should not deter anyone to pursue what delivers results. Experience shows that if small organizations focus on following, apart from sound skills and initiative, success do chase them:

  1. Personalized touch
  2. Flexibility to changes
  3. Identifying with customer issues
  4. More listening and less leaving things to chances
  5. Courtesy and openness

So, if you do it right, reward comes as a matter of your right. No one can prevent you to grow and take a prime position.

Blooms and glooms of becoming big

Becoming big has a beauty and bliss! It has a trail of success stories. There are many positive aspects – cost competitiveness, growing opportunities, talent development and several others. I would sum up these in just 2 points – a. Ability to set trends and traditions b. Breadth of product range and depth of services.

But, nature does not allow anything to survive unipolar! So, a beauty has its ugly side too; right is accompanied with wrong and positive can’t exist without negative. So, a big size organization (or even an individual having big image) has its share of shortcomings. Things like greater inertia due to hierarchies and structures, loss of transparency, life becoming more mechanical and rule oriented, work-life imbalance, financial figures and on line forms ruling more than 80% of employees’ life, rivalries and politics are some among many, which big size companies struggle with. Let us deal with 3 issues, which in fact mushroom into many.

Loss of Simplicity

Complexities increase in direct proportion to the size! It is very difficult to “keep it simple”, despite sermons of top CEOs.

Organization’s structure and systems to quality assurance assume a complex form with increasing size. After all, there are experts for everything and their jobs can’t be justified without making things complicated. Loss of simplicity is gain for inertia and loss in decision making.

Problems of one bring privileges for another! This is how consulting firms have also become big in backyard of their big clients!

Loss of human touch

This is single biggest cause of employee frustration.

I have been privy to 2 organizations growing from smaller scale to large scale. Employees in these organizations increasingly found their top bosses inaccessible. Feedback system and most development programs going online stimulated their isolation and fury. Their fate would hinge on a single yearly appraisal system. Story is no less grim on touch with customers and hence market!

Gain of arrogance and ego

Let us face this bitter reality – size of ego and arrogance of many employees, especially with sales and marketing or customer facing functions, goes hand in hand with size of the organization they serve! If successful organizations start to face heat and heap of problems, this is one major factor to blame!!

Supervisors and subordinates alike are vociferous in defending their delays, slippages and mistakes. Moreover, as an example, I have observed employees of big consulting firms exploiting faith put on them by their customers, securing business by creating fear psychosis and demanding undue premium on their services. Fault, no doubt, also lies with those organizations, which have love for size, but not skills; swear by name, but not by merit!

How to accentuate Beauty!

Most companies worldwide boast of hosting numerous programs for development of leadership, personality and various other attributes. Factually, these are all aimed at developing a style but not a character. It is for this reason that these programs trigger euphoria but not a change.

What we need is a program to build character of every employee, whose output should be measured by “degree of Seriousness, Simplicity and Sincerity”. It is absolutely plausible to do it.

When this is done, size of an organization would not matter. Imagine charisma of a beauty (of any organization or individual), which is preserved without time line; but its banes managed all the time!

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