Tag Archives: Dilemma

Our day to day dilemma or delusion – Schrödinger’s cat is dead or alive?

yes-nein-or-yein

Yes, Nein or Yein? Image source – flickr.com

My wife is a cleaning freak and is currently on house cleaning spree because of upcoming major Indian festival. I had been expecting that any day my bedroom cupboard would be upside down, albeit organized as is where basis by her standard. But, it had not happened.

Today morning, I walked down to my cupboard to fetch some article expecting least what I witnessed – it was cleaned up, reorganized and I found it hard to lay my hands of what I wanted. I began to feel upset. But, I said to myself – hang on; this is nothing new. It is just my dilemma or delusion whether I would find Schrödinger’s cat dead or alive. Cat is dead; just accept the reality that cupboard has been reorganized regardless of my comfort or discomfort.

You must be facing likes of above situation a number of times every day. If your cell phone rings when you don’t want to be disturbed, your mind would instantly suspect caller to be one, you don’t want to talk to; but majority of times it would be another person, whom you won’t refuse to talk. Your spouse insists upon you to accompany for shopping and you put extra money not for spending but for not cutting a sorry figure. More often, you would find whole money gets spent, as if your spouse or shopkeepers had prior knowledge of extra money in your pocket.

So, your mind is constantly engaged in tossing the coin – would it be this or that?

Splendid substance behind story of Schrödinger’s cat!

I won’t go into technical or experimental aspects of this story; if you are interested, please go on Google. It is very easy and interesting to understand. What is very important here is to know that such simple idea has led to monumental advancements in every field – technology to physiology. Schrödinger stated that there is no way to know in advance whether the cat, which has been placed in safe part of a chamber but facing threat from unsafe part, is dead or alive unless you observe or open the chamber. If you don’t observe, then cat is neither dead nor alive; it is in state of superposition – a term which Schrödinger or science does not know till today what exactly it is – call it metaphysical. Ironically, many argue that there is unseen force or mechanism in our universe that has prior knowledge.

What Schrödinger or science could not fathom till today is – this idea has great relevance in our day to day life. Most refuse to believe there is science behind our life and there is always life behind science.

Sum and substance of this story

Things, which are in our thoughts or are unseen, have equal probability of actually being alive or dead, this or that, right or wrong, great or gory, successful or setback. Only when things surface or become reality, then we see them in one or another form.

So, game of guessing or tossing the coin that we continuously play is actually futile. There is equal chance that things would turn out to be positive or negative. Your wishing that they be positive does not make you positive; actually it is negative contrary to popular perceptions as that indicates your obsession or addiction to positive. And, if you want it be negative even for a positive reason, it is negative as it indicates your bias or prejudice.

Now comes important link from last week’s post, which is not only proven in life but also by science’s famous law of Complementarity. This law states – you would get result as per type of set up to measure it. Such set up is physical in science but mental in life.

Therefore, if you guess or toss the coin, you are negative and that increases chances of negative results or disappointments. But, if you don’t guess, you are positive (which actually implies you are prepared to accept the reality) and you have higher chances of getting delightful results.

Try above game without cheating; you would be astonished with astounding results!

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Throes of a dilemma – to be thick or thin skin!

Being happy and lucky at same time! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Consciously or unconsciously, everyone faces predicament that in a given situation, to be sensitive (thin skin) or insensitive (thick skin)! Trend of sensitiveness is set by one’s genes; but it is very much possible to alter it by making conscious efforts and practice. A right degree of sensitiveness helps a lot in your relationship, liaison, career and general effectiveness, and it also has lot of impact on your health and state of mind.

Interestingly, if you look at larger areas of population like that of a country to globe, you would discover that people from west and north regions tend to be thicker skin and those from east and south regions nearly opposite. Mind it – this seems to be the order at macro scale; you would always find exceptions at micro level. Important is to notice the trend! It looks probable that it has something to do with prosperity and environment including weather. A body that can withstand tougher conditions yet be accomplished by own hard work is bound to be a shade less sensitive!

Since nothing in nature is one sided, thick and thin skins have their pros and cons.

If you are thin skin!

Here below are pluses and minuses and tendencies, as you become thinner skin:

  • Stage 1
    You are likely to be kind, caring, compassionate, sincere, mild by temper and you would be particular in delivering what you promise.
    Your body would show sensitiveness to weather changes.
  • Stage 2
    You would become an emotional person and would often be anxious to get good results. You may easily get upset, if what you plan gets usurped.
    You would not get sound sleep and hence cease to be a morning person. You can become finicky and cleanliness freak!
  • Stage 3
    Your kindness would give way to inflated ego and you would become prone to biases. You are likely to expect or demand perfection, shortfall in which would be bothersome for you. You would start to reject realities!
    This stage would shorten your temper. You might show signs of IBS, sleep disturbances, skin disorders and body aches.
  • Stage 4
    Anger and anxieties would take command of your life. You would start to worry about what would happen in future. You would be highly sensitive to what others have to advise or say about you.
    You are likely to become victim of high blood pressure, cardio ailments or depression.

If you are thick skin!

  • Stage 1
    You would be mostly stress free, smiling, quick decision maker, efficient and able to manage conflicts well. You would not be overly concerned what has happened in past, able to move forward and be agile!
    You would enjoy good health and better immunity against common ailments!!
  • Stage 2
    You would enter comfort zone/s and put up resistance to change. You would become carefree and start to lose efficiency and pragmatism, because of developing inertia.
    You would go easy on fitness aspects and may develop liking for junk food or erratic habits.
  • Stage 3
    You would become self-centered and face loss of productivity. Stage would now be set for you to become careless and casual. You would falter frequently on delivering your promises. You would start to ignore realities!
    You would talk more but walk less. You might collect more fat on your body!!
  • Stage 4
    Lethargy and apathy would overtake your life. Your career would go completely for a toss and you would face isolation.
    You would encounter inactivity and weight related ailments like diabetes.

So, how thick your skin should be?

You like it or not, believe it or not; nature demands balancing! You must not be too sensitive or insensitive; you must not be too sincere or insincere; don’t be too loyal or betray either!!

If you pay attention to above stages and analyze, you would conclude that you must stay and sustain the mix of stage 1 of both thin and thick skins. To do this, replace your sensitivity by sensibility, regardless of what stage you are at and status or clout you enjoy! 

That alone can give you right thickness to your skin! You would then be happy and go lucky!!

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When being good is not good enough in your professional or personal life!

Be good enough at what you do! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Are you one of those, who face dilemma time and again that they do their best; but their desires or dreams do not come through? You are sincere, serious and honest in your endeavors; yet, do you encounter disappointments that results are seldom up to your expectations? Does that leave you wondering and often frustrating that while you have done all what you can, why you are being deprived of what you deserve? If yes, then here is what can help you to create better understanding of how things happen and how those can be changed!

First and foremost thing to understand is that if good does not work, then becoming bad is a very bad idea. Try whatever you want to with bad frame of mind, it would never ever serve your purpose. Often it has been seen that when good sense does not bring success, people lose their cool, doubt relevance of goodness and fall back on wrong ways – anger or anxiety, reaction or remorse, frustration or fear! Interestingly but ironically, bad or wrong ways suppress the realities and show up immediate results, which are either short lived or lead to bigger issues of other types now or later.

I have seen many bosses in corporates, who were initially very nice and empathetic to their employees. They would give them freedom and motivation. But later on, due to tough competition or faulty strategy, when their business units started performing poorly, they changed their attitude towards employees. They started to lose their temper for no rational reasons, became poor listener and disinterested in understanding the challenges employees were facing. Few bosses multiplied their woes, when top talents in their team started to desert them and the rest fell out of grace of the top management and faced a bad patch in their career! So, it is an illusion that being bad can ever pay off.

Then, being goody-goody is also bad. People like to be goody, when they want to avoid controversies or tough decisions. Therefore, they make attempts to please everybody and in that process, they lose their peace!

Real issue with most of us is that we believe or perceive that qualities and caliber that we possess are good enough! If things do not work out or results do not turn out as expected, we would put blame elsewhere – market conditions, coincidences, stroke of luck etc. This prevents us to reach to the root of the issue. Key lies in challenging our own perceptions or beliefs and comprehend where we are going wrong!

Indicators when your goodness is not good enough

  1. When your repeat efforts do not yield expected results.
  2. When your ideas or work does not elicit encouraging response from your target audience.
  3. When even 15% of your perception about self does not echo in what others have to say about you!
  4. When there are few takers of your talent!
  5. When your supervisor, sub-ordinates or peers do not approach you for support or guidance!
  6. When you manage to please one section of people especially seniors but displease another section.
  7. When your near and dear avoid interacting with you.
  8. When you often miss to do things, which matter to you.
  9. When you are prone to making mistakes and do not implement the lessons learnt.
  10. When you are low in patience and short in temper!
  11. When you do not feel like looking into eyes of others and communicate or others do the same with you!
  12. When your fellow beings keep a distance or disregard you!
  13. When you are not getting sense of accomplishment in what you do!
  14. When you don’t feel happy and get distracted too often.

Above list can help you to check whether you are good enough in your professional and personal life. If you are not, then you are likely to fail to get what you want.

What can you do to be good enough!

Please look at the parameter and emphasis on the right side of each point below:

  1. It is good to be simple and straight forward; but more important is to be sound and strong mentally and physically!
  2. Be flexible; but never falter in being firm!
  3. Be compassionate; but equally important is to be courageous to take tough decisions!
  4. Take lead in developing new ideas; but never lag behind to disseminate and communicate to as wide an audience as you can!
  5. Be cordial; but never shy away from inevitable conflicts and discords!
  6. Be respectful; but never repress your legitimate feelings or compromise your self-esteem! 
  7. Have always good intentions; but greater should be your thrust on implementation!
  8. Be energetic but don’t make attempts to exhibit it through your body language or oratory skills; instead allow it to be experienced by others on their own!
  9. Believe in actions; but completely regulate your reactions!
  10. Be confident; but avoid at every cost to be arrogant!
  11. Be open as well as ardent observer!
  12. Believe your people; but never be blindfolded and biased!
  13. Charisma helps, but not without character and convictions!
  14. Generosity is as relevant as gratefulness!

So if you make “being good enough” as your goal, then growth and successes are bound to greet you!

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How a role model can mold your persona!

A Role Model; source: http://www.flickr.com/

When you get highly impressed with someone for one or more times, you have tendency to choose him/her consciously or unconsciously as your role model. At this point of time, World Football Cup fever is at its top and has caught fancy of millions. Several sports lovers have or would choose their role models; but by end of the tournament, many would also drop their role models like a hot potato!

It has been seen that whenever a political or apolitical leader starts a popular movement, public scrambles to install him/her as its role model. Winner in an election, singer in a competition or celebrity in a show suddenly finds thousands of followers, adoring him/her like no less than the God. They start to track every step or speech of the role model/s blindly. However, faster such role models rise in their popularity among followers, equally fast is their retreat! Many made Barack Obama as their role model, when he first became US President in January 2009. In little more than 5 years, his popularity has taken a severe beating and so is he position as role model with many! What has gone so bad between then and now with Obama, there is no rational explanation!!

Is that how role modeling should work?

Misnomers in making of a role model

There is a lot of confusion and illusion around who can or should be your role model! You often get impressed with a person under following situations:

  1. When person (henceforth “he” used without any gender bias) shows strength in areas, where you are weak.
  2. When person gives you impression that he can address your grievances, greed, guilt or growth.
  3. His physique and/or physical features are fascinating to you.
  4. He is able to trigger your emotions – positive or negative.
    Under positive emotions, you feel more at ease, excited, enthusiastic or optimistic.
    Under negative emotions, you get support from him for your fury, frustration, rebellion or dejection.
  5. He creates euphoria among his audience and you feel tempted to flow with it.
    Such euphoria can be through script, speech, singing, acting, playing or like.
  6. He makes you ecstatic!
    You feel mesmerized by his actions or skills for inexplicable reasons!!

All of above situations are imposing and insinuating; but role model/s selected under influence of these would be destined to failure sooner or later. Such models are actually a liability on you.

There is only one criterion, which can make your selection successful – when a person creates inspiration in you and you become thoughtful, peaceful and positive, that is the person who deserves to become your role model!

Relevance of a role model

Life is exciting, when there is continuous learning! Best and fastest learning comes by example/s!!

And a role model is always an excellent example to emulate.

A role model helps in several ways. Under crisis, your confidence can crack and convert into confusion. A role model can help restore not only your confidence, but gives you courage to emerge stronger after crisis. When you are in dilemma, he can dissolve it and drive you forward with decisions. He has deep impact on your morals and manners.

I have personally seen in many corporates how an influential boss molds culture and style of his/her folks effortlessly. To cite a real example, several sub-ordinates and secretaries in a company had developed habit of receiving visitors or responding with a style of “Hello” on phone in the same way as their highly respected boss!

The best a role model can do is to shape your character and make you charismatic! He is also your true mentor and guide!!

What does a true role model mean to you

  1. He/she is a blessing for you.
  2. He elicits inspiration in you, but not emotions.
  3. He takes away your illusions.
  4. He gives you strength.
  5. When you are at cross roads, you are most likely to remember him and you find a right road to choose!
  6. He has no conflict with your interests.
  7. He keeps your morals and hopes high during high and low cycles that you go through.
  8. He encourages you to learn but not lean on him!

In order to derive maximum benefits from your role model, you may learn his stories, but you must decipher his spirit and substance beneath; watch his actions, but assimilate his attributes; look at his images, but fathom his intentions and ideas.

So, a role model is a great asset for you, provided you make a right choice as above. Then, you would have all reasons to rejoice and reap the rewards!

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Can Intuitions or Instincts make our judgments free from errors?

Everyone relies on what we call as our intuition, instinct, inner voice or gut feel and act on same. But, is that a right thing to do or there is better way to make judgments or decisions? This is the question, which impacts everyone in everyday life!

Critical moments and crucial decisions put everyone on cross roads and throes of dilemma. There is more than one decision possible; each of those has its pros and cons, equal chances of success and failure. Analysis of situation states something, logic may support same; so, our mind is unsure which way to go!

This reflects reality in everyone’s life. Look at history. Famous decisions were taken by leaders on a flick of a second, while at stake were lives of millions – survive or slain! John F. Kennedy, popular US President was facing such situation in October 1962 on Cuban missile crisis. His military commanders were insisting on air attacks on missile bases, which had eminent danger of triggering nuclear war with USSR. Instead, he chose to stand firm on USSR dismantling missiles and take them away from Cuba. The decision worked and saved mankind of a major disaster! Look at another case of decision by Soviet Union leader Vladimir Lenin, which gave communism to world, cold war with West and costly arms race. As opposed to him was Mikhail Gorbachev, another Soviet leader between 1985 to 90, who showed courage to exactly do the opposite. Historians highly acclaim Gorbachev of his historical decision; but why he was the one and not others to do it? No one is able to say!

Demystifying Intuitions and Instincts

There are several terms in vogue – intuition, instinct, inner voice, gut feel, hunch or divine call. Do these mean different things or aspects? Many believe yes; but these are actually not. Each of these terms relates to an idea or thought suddenly popping up in one and same mind. Feeling of suddenness is very individual. Those who are conscious would see it coming. Most are unclear of suddenness, because their mind is normally in semi-conscious state.

Intuition or instinct is essentially a thought, which you get when your mind is free from any conflict, prejudice or presumption! May be it would not sound very convincing to you; but, that is the truth!

Do Intuitions or Instincts represent future reality?

Not necessarily!

Real intuition or instinct does take you towards what is actually going to happen. But believe me, it is not easy to judge whether what you feel as intuition is really real; everyone tends to misjudge it. Occasionally, you do judge correctly.

Following are broad categories of thoughts, which people get, when they sit on a judgment or decision, however small or big:

  1. Thoughts based upon perceptions
    These include prior information, anticipation, suspicion or fear.
  2. Thoughts driven by convictions
    These include one’s faith, beliefs or doctrines.
  3. Thoughts driven by pure consciousness or mindfulness

Normally, our thoughts are a mix of all 3 categories with type 1 or 2 being prominent, depending upon our occupation. For example, a technocrat, scientist or IT data analyst would have on an average 70% of type 1, approximately 20% of type 2 and balance 10% of type 3 thoughts. When he or she believes to get an intuition or instinct, % of type 3 goes higher at that time – say 15 or 20% mainly at the expense of type 1 and little of type 2. Those with strong flavor for religion or ism would have nearly 70 % of type 2 thoughts.

When convictions or perceptions supersede your consciousness, your decision or judgment could go either way – good or bad! Only when degree of your consciousness at a particular point of time increases to more than 50%, your decision or judgment start to go mostly right!! When your consciousness is predominant, then you would find following things happening:

  • You become more focused.
  • Your mind would distract less and number of thoughts crossing your mind at a time would be restricted to 2 or 3.
  • You suddenly feel more confident.
  • You experience new energy level.
  • You feel at ease and peace with yourself.

An intuition or instinct is real, when more than 50% of your thoughts are driven by your consciousness. Duration of such intuition or instinct would depend upon how long you sustain elevated degree of consciousness! Remember, if you become conscious, you would lose it.

Eliminating errors of judgment

No tools or technology can eliminate errors of your judgment and decision; your consciousness can!

We tend to make errors even in understanding what consciousness is. Becoming conscious does not amount to “having consciousness”. As mentioned above, consciousness or mindfulness is state of your mind, which is free from any conflict, prejudice or presumption! More you practice this state of mind; higher would be degree of your consciousness.

If you want your judgments be free from errors, it is the consciousness you need to crave and craft. If 50% or more of your thoughts are not driven by your consciousness, your gut feel or inner voice can fail you!

You can’t imagine how high degree of your consciousness can completely reshape your paradigm and make most of your judgments or decisions accurate!

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