Great leaders’ sayings, golden quotes, good advises, tested truths or terrific experiences carry no value for those, who are disappointed or depressed! Disappointments and depressive feelings are like hunger, when any talk about which food is healthy or harmful loses its relevance; a hungry person just wants food to eat!! In both the cases, emotions are overwhelming; but people often fail to differentiate what they do to resolve. The solution to problem of hunger is to eat food and that everyone does. On the other hand, while facing problem of disappointments or depressive feelings, person rejects the very solution! Is not it ironical?
Why is that?
The problem lies in the way we have learnt to perceive a problem!!!
Most perceive that a problem is pointless and has to bring pain!
Since childhood, it has been drilled in our mind that problem is a bad word. If we created a problem in our early hood, we were punished. We have been taught in schools how people reacted against problems; how problem makers were suppressed or penalized. That is not wrong or right; but one adverse impact is most of us have harbored habit to react negatively when faced with problem. A problem invariably invites negative emotions in us; it could range from frustration to fury, disenchantment and disillusionment to distress and depressive feelings. As it is, human mind falls prey to negatives far in excess of positives and hence negative emotions sucks you more into negative spiral, which could turn into wild thoughts and/or actions.
It is because of above, when we face problem/s, we simply sink! We don’t want to heed to anything sensible. Our senses prevail, only when it starts to hurt our conscience or creates damages, which instill fear in us. It is then that we start to take corrective actions to address the problem!
Our paradigm that problems are pointless must undergo a shift! It is not necessary that a problem has to bring pain or evoke our negative emotions!!
Treat problems as part and parcel of life!
If anyone claims on this planet that he/she never faces problems has serious problem! Everyone from strongest person of world – US President to wealthiest ones like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have their share of problems. If you still see them smiling, it is because they treat their problems differently.
Pluck following low hanging fruits to change your perspective on problems:
- Don’t have phobia of problems. If problems have to come, they would and hence, offer no resistance. It is your resistance to problems, which creates pains!
- Once a problem is before you, you would react. But, never act upon 1st reaction of your mind.
- More than 80% of problems are self-made!
Your preset expectations, envy or comparison with others, desires/obsession, clash with your ego or comfort and conflict with your biases account for these, which invariably lead to negative emotions. So, you are focal point, from where most problems emanate!
- Recognize a problem; never reject or gloss over it.
Once you recognize and accept, you would not waste your energy by recapitulating and repenting for efforts you made. You would realize something you did was not right. You need to find out what it was.
- A problem is called a problem, only when it has a solution.
Solution is what you now have to find out by yourself or with help of others. Something, that does not have a solution, becomes sacrosanct as truth.
- Once you know the solution, don’t look back; simply implement even if that means radically different route to take.
Dare your disappointments and depressive feelings (Ds)
Here are some golden rules:
Rule # 1
Only when you dare, you can defeat!
Rule # 2
Value of efforts is far higher than the effects (results)!
So, if you made your sincere efforts, never feel dejected if effect or result did not fructify. Results only determine the direction. But, never refuse to follow, what result directs you to do.
Rule # 3
Rule 1-2-3 & Go always applies!
If 3 consecutive attempts did not get to your goal, quit making such attempts. One of the 2 things must change – your approach or goal, since either of 2 is not worth for you. Don’t wait or feel depressed; just make a radical shift.
Rule # 4
Consequences of conscious choices made are not meant for grumbling but for learning!
Don’t think – what’s wrong in grumbling; you would definitely goof in learning!!
Rule # 5
Setbacks provide best opportunity to learn and succeed!
If you put your faith in this, you can’t be disillusioned or depressed!! Setbacks, irrespective how many, sting only when you don’t consider those as opportunities.
Rule # 6
Problems or failures don’t pull down heaven; but negative emotions emanating from those do put you in hell!
Rule # 7
Negative emotions swell when mixed with negative ones; but sink completely against positive ones!
Eventually, only way to survive and succeed is to counter your Ds by evoking your positive emotions or thoughts.
So, consider your classical notions about failure as opportunities; then opportunities would chase you!
While penning above thoughts and truths, I have been constantly wishing if I could help you, if faced with disappointments! What do you think?