Tag Archives: Banish

Why best of partners part their ways in worst manners!

abcGeorge Clooney, famed Hollywood actor was adjudged as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, until he decided to tie the knot with Amal Alamuddin, an international and human rights lawyer, in September 2014. Press has written lot of love stories and quotes for the couple; but, it has now reported that their marriage is on the rocks. A more than decade old fairy tale like relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has completely fractured few months back. All the fanfare behind courtship and marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seems to be in doldrums.

Stories of Bollywood or Indian celebrities are no different – break-up of industrialist Nes Wadia and actress Preity Zinta, tennis player Leander Paes and actress Mahima Chaudhary, Sarika and Kamal Hasaan – both from film industry, actor Hrithik Roshan and interior designer Sussanne and so on.

Forget the celebrities, look at common people as partners, whom you believe as best in your neighborhood and you may discover that their partnership is not easy.

It seems to a very common feature that what ensue on the best nod ends on a worst note. What was prominent to start with, equally or more painful is to end with a relationship. It appears as if it is an order arranged by nature.

Our notion or definition for what makes it best is much fractured

Two very attractive faces, two equally and highly qualified spouses, two strong or influential personalities or pair from two famous families are perceived as best partners. But, history shows that such pairs cease to live at ease sooner and eventually break up sordidly.

Do you believe that two equally intelligent spouses, two tall partners or two accomplished persons in same profession co-exist congenially? They don’t; they face more disagreements than agreements since each one has his/her own ideas, which he/she would like to prevail with. Arguments fly high and disenchantment grows. It is like two identical polarities repelling each other.

Two best together cannot make best-square or ideal pair. Only when two persons complement each other by their characters and attributes, they make ideal combination. It means that if one is strong headed, other should be mild; if first one is extrovert, other one be introvert. If one is bright; other should be dull. And you would soon realize that it is not very appealing!

So, what is ideal?

The best pair or combination is what is individually balanced!

This is true of any form of relationship. If you want your honeymoon with a customer to last long, you on your part have to be balanced in your dealing – neither too cozy nor too curt.

Popularity or prominence is prone to prejudices

Everyone wants to be popular and be in public eyes. You soon start to enjoy your image and prestige. And, greed goes in your head and you get addicted to have more and more of prominence. This is the starting point of driving a divide between the pair. In initial period, one or both would not even realize or acknowledge that anything wrong is developing; this is stage of denial. By the time one or both wake up, it is already too late normally to normalize back.

So, too much public glare could be gloomy; your high image can lower intimacy with your partner; lot of fanfare about your relationship can turn into source of frustration.

One thing is very clear – if your choice is to build a relationship, you have to choose to banish your biases at all costs!

Partnership is more a game of compromises and not gaining command over each other.

Therefore, your private as well as professional life is at its best if you are balanced and free from biases!

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“How I Hire” – Mantra & Messages of many!

Recently a social media has invited articles on “How I Hire” from eminent leaders and authors. So, a spate of articles surfaced on this platform. Lot of good ideas and counsel has been shared on how to hire best in class or best fit. Jack Welch, former chairman and CEO of GE sees the best potential in those having what he has termed as “Generosity Genes”, apart from other qualities.

After studying above articles, 2 things crossed my mind:

  1. With so many brainy ideas floating, how hiring managers would decipher and decide what to absorb and adopt?
  2. Any organization – business corporation or others – actually hires only a very few best and most hired are medium performers!

Let us dwell on these 2 points more.

Brainy ideas are Best only when most can interpret and implement!

If one surfs for above or any other topic on net, she (no gender bias) would find plentiful of ideas and details. I am not sure whether readers can really decipher what is best for them. I see, on the other hand, plentiful of confusion and illusion! Lot of ideas and illustrations, coined as “out of box”, are actually “old medicine in a new wrapper”!! Then, what is good or great for one is bad for another.

We need to follow one simple and universal rule – the Best is one which most can relate, interpret and implement! Please note the emphasis on “can”!! Most can do everything; but what they actually don’t do is to implement and hence this emphasis.

Relevance of middle order!

Hiring the best among a lot being interviewed is really no great deal! Best would always stand out and be visible. Yes, if you are lucky to shortlist more than one, then your challenge would be to take a right call for who you eventually select.

Notwithstanding the above, more leaders and authors talk about how to hire the best. Efforts to hire only the best defeat the purpose of an organization’s success. A group of Best cannot deliver the Best; a good blend does! It has been witnessed time and again that presence of many bests together can only create chaos and confusion. Those organizations are immensely successful, who push for well woven team at middle level led by an able captain!

This means a paradigm shift to how to hire “dependable medium capability employees” in a bigger number, who form the backbone of an organization.

Characteristics of hiring manager determine those of hired!

Are you surprised at this? It is a bitter truth day-in and day-out! An autocratic hiring manager would love aggressive and dominating candidates. A democratic type of manager can never settle for autocratic or dogmatic individual.

It is another universal rule that “Traits of an individual deeply influence outcome of the task in hand!”

To overcome limitations from traits of a hiring manager, it is best to form a panel of 2 or more interviewers. Time and again, I have come to same conclusion that an organization needs a really competent and smart HR manager. It is HR, who should have the ability to select/recommend a good mix of traits in the interview panel to get great results.

Another important aspect is coaching of hiring managers on how to hire and banish their biases, when they sit on decision for someone’s career/fate!

Flatter and flirt with many; finally only few matter!

It is a constant obsession that we vie for many; but don’t know what to do with those. In the same vein, talk of selecting a leader, leaders and writers would come out with 9 to 49 qualities to be considered! What to make out of those; none has good answer!!

So, forget flocking for many; keep it simple – just few, which are mother for most (qualities or characteristics)! Here below are just 4 qualities to look for, once you have established that a candidate is technically competent, to make your hiring most effective.


This quality leads to:

  • Integrity
  • Commitment
  • Empathy
  • Transparency
  • Team spirit and many more


It promotes:

  • Attention to details
  • Innovativeness
  • Meticulousness
  • Conflict management
  • Well organized, when coupled with sincerity


It brings:

  • Passion
  • Decisiveness
  • Ownership, when coupled with sincerity
  • Confidence
  • Presence of mind


It powers:

  • Courage
  • Dynamism
  • Pride, when coupled with focus
  • Diligence
  • Drive

Just 4 questions could seal your selection!

You need to focus on 4 key or killer questions, once you have understood the background of candidate in her language and reasons for seeking to get hired:

  1. What are your strengths and weaknesses?
    Dwell on each by looking into eyes of candidate; you would be able to understand her Sincerity.
  2. How are you using your strengths and overcoming weaknesses?
    Get into details to understand her Analytical abilities.
  3. Narrate toughest challenge, she has encountered and how did she manage?
    Counter question and observe her body language to understand her Focus.
  4. If selected, how would she lead the role/responsibility and make a difference to organization?
    Her excitement and flow of answer would reveal degree of Energy!

So, it is surely safe to be with S.A.F.E. – 4 qualities and 4 questions!

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