Winning Action dis-oriented, Submissive and Pragmatic bosses

Action dis-oriented boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • He believes that he has open mind
  • He believes he has highest passion for his company and employees
  • He believes in Change and New Ideas
  • He is proud of what he has done in past
  • But, he is confused
  • He is indecisive
  • He may assign right to the Wrong and wrong to the Right

2.  Things that you should do for him

  • You should be seen by him as systematic and methodical
  • Request delegation of authority, evolve decision and present it for his decision
  • Catalog all of your actions to appraise him fully
  • Give him full credit for success of such decision
  • Defend him, if things fail and you shoulder the responsibility

You have the best case to learn “decision making” out of indecision!

Submissive boss

  1. Things that you would observe in him
  • He would be dutiful and humble
  • Would have conservative approach
  • Would be willing to delegate a lot
  • He would seek ideas and opinions of others
  • He would be God fearing
  • He could have split personality
  • He would be flexible to the extent that he can be bent either way!

In some cases, such boss may promote what is known in French “Laissez faire” style of working i.e. leave the group entirely to itself to manage.

2.  Things that you should do to click

  • Help him to make right choices
  • Actively participate to drive right decisions
  • Show full ownership on such decisions and outcome
  • Do not allow him to be manipulated by those, who may like to exploit his flexibility and you let your boss know the support you are rendering on this

Pragmatic boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • He would be a progressive thinker
  • Practical and logical
  • Realistic and dynamic
  • Flexible and approachable
  • Fair and reasonable in his decisions
  • He could be a change agent
  • He would be people friendly, customers included

2.  What you can do to click with him

  • Go extra miles to demonstrate that you are well meaning
  • Your ownership and integrity cannot be compromised
  • Show that you are focused on attention to details and quality
  • Be well informed and brief, during your meetings with him
  • Never take him as granted and be very straight forward

There is one variation in this category of boss – Pragmatic + Charismatic (P+C), where you do not have to do anything to click with him; he will come and click with you! This class of boss may not be very common.

So, you can, now, make your days at work or home happier by:

  • Understanding 1st and 2nd most dominant traits of your boss
  • Using Universal Formula
  • Unique actions to click
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Misconceptions around Work-Life balance

Misconceptions start from very description of popular term “Work-Life balance”. Work is actually part of life. The mistake is to treat Work and Life (i.e. personal life) as 2 separate entities and then, talk of balancing.
Most successful people have lot of work, less of free time; but they are mostly healthy and rarely talk of missing on work-life balance. Why? They might be auto-balancing, which very few can see!

Misconceptions galore

  1. Treating Work and Life as 2 separate compartments.
    These are actually 2 aspects of one Whole – Life; or you can say 2 sides of same coin.
  2.  Assumption that how and what you do in your personal life would not impact professional life or vice versa is wholly misplaced.
  3. Exaggerated notions
  • Dedication at work means over-working.
  • Ownership inevitably means stress and worry.
  • Getting fatigued and tired is alright, week-end is there to recharge.
  • At last, I have time for my family.
  • Oh! Now that I am retired from work, I can do what I always wanted to do.

    4. Split behavior

  • Hands-on at work, hands-off at home
  • Bull at work, bear at home or vice versa
  • Involved at work, indulge at home
  • Conscious at work, crazy at home
  • Pressure at work, release at home

These misconceptions also bring you morning or Monday blues.

Drawing a parallel
What you do in personal life, are directly relevant to your professional life. Look at these parallels:

  1. Correct way of treating employees is how you treat your family – respectful and reasonable, considerate and caring.
  2. Best example of ownership on your team or project is how you parent (especially a mother) your children.
  3. Your loyalty to Company should be no less than your loyalty to Spouse.
  4. You can’t do without courage and calm to manage a conflict at work and that’s what you need also at home.
  5. What drives you for decisions on your personal investments should also drive you for business decisions at work.

What can auto-balance your “Work-Life”

  1. Believe that work is never a burden or liability. It is meant to be enjoyed as much as you enjoy while at home or holidays.
    At one stroke, you would develop your dedication, dynamism and diligence.
  2. What you like to do, do not postpone it to another day. Find a way to do little of all what you like or have to; but incrementally and without compromising your duties.
    If you have a desire to find a way, you would surely get it! Our dogma – we do not believe this works. Factually, it does!!
  3. If you want to be a horse of long race, you ought to be healthy and happy.
  4. Forget that “over work or excess stress” can be off-set by “over rest or excess relaxation”. Both are bad!
  5. Eliminate 2 Big blunders, most commit – to ignore “qualitative development of self” and “securing future”.
    On Qualitative Development, you normally think –
  • It is a separate subject.
  • It would happen, as you gain experience.
  • It would come, when you get training.
  • It is not meaningful to your work and meaningless for your vacation.
    Human race is most fortunate to learn what is good and what is not, what is right and wrong, from childhood through academia to now. Hence, you know these already! Experience would only consolidate, training would polish and some medium would help you to change for better.
    Make it integral to your work and life and drive your qualitative development.
    Securing Future is the best “stress relieving dose” –
  • When you earn, you spend and when you spend, think to save.
  • Save and invest to secure your/family’s future. Many think it is not importance today; they regret tomorrow.

Here is “What You Should Do”

  1. Set your definition right on “Work-Life balance”.
  2. See the parallels in Professional and Personal life.
  3. Seek joy in everything you do and blend it with qualitative aspects.
  4. Stop over-doings in name of passion or vacation.
  5. Slice your time, when you are not sleeping, into –
    40 to 45% at Work
    40 to 45% not at Work (for family, socializing, travel…)
    10 to 20% for your health, self-development and securing future.
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When your confidence starts to shake..……

Often you may find your confidence level going down or shaking. This can dent your efficiency and effectiveness, comfort and composure. If you can find the reasons, it is then possible for you to address. You would discover that some of these could be very trivial and some are terrible!

Look at what can tamper your confidence:

1. Conflict of thoughts

  • Is my belief right or wrong?
  • Will it work or will it not?
  • Shall I do or shall I drop?
  • What is it, if I go wrong?
  • Standing at cross roads; unable to decide which direction to go.

Though you believe in decisions; but you become indecisive!

2. Conflict of interests

  • Your stakes are high; but you suspect setback!
  • Your image is high; but you worry for it getting impaired.
  • People have high expectations from you; but you fear failure.
3. Conflict of actions
  • Gap in what you believe and what you do.
  • Using duel yard sticks – one for self and another for others.
  • You initiate action; but lack conviction in pursuing.
  • Attempts to gain at the cost of others.
4. Overly Concerned
  • What would others think of you?
  • Getting nervous with size of audience or position of person/s, with whom you need to communicate.
  • Fear of unknown.
  • Desire to please all, though not possible.
  • Envy those, whom you perceive as better performers, rather than learning from them.
5. Contradictory results
  • Putting-in what you think as your best efforts; but success eludes you.
  • Driving for a change; but you are driven to wall.
  • People take your sincerity and sanctity as granted and they do not hesitate to manipulate.
  • You discover your trusted or dear ones digging under your feet.

6.     Facing Crisis

  • Setback to your image, status or career.
  • Your actions triggering a controversy or raking up an issue.
  • Your beliefs prove to be wrong or exaggerated, arousing your reaction or ego.
  • Fingers being raised on your character or your credibility being doubted.
  • Your health is not helping.

7.     Getting Criticism

  • Dressing-down by your boss or spouse.
  • You are put down by your peers.
  • Not being recognized for what you perceive as good work.
  • When others feel hurt by your doings.

So, what you need to do?

Just 2 things –

A. Be aware of (1) to (4) and abandon or reject these outright!

Heaven would not fall on earth, if you still go wrong. But, if you don’t do that, chances of heaven falling down would only improve. After all, you need not be right every time and “wrong would only make you right”. So, get it going; do not hold.

B. Evaluate (5) to (7); somewhere you would be wrong and elsewhere you may be right. Hold the Right and correct the Wrong!

Here is the key to real confidence:

Sticking to own beliefs and views, regardless these are right or wrong, is over- confidence. It would kill you one day.

Under-confidence is an ailment, which would trouble you every day.

Having own beliefs and views, with room for change and correction whenever necessary, is the only Real Confidence! It would be difficult to get shaken!!

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Secrets behind Chefs’ dishes and Mothers’ recipes

This is the next step to create understanding towards “Science behind Your Life”. Wonder; what it has got to do with such topic? That is the secret, you need to know.

Did you observe why we like bread crumbs in soup? Why many people like crunchy chocolates?

Bread crumbs are crispy, soft but solid and gives a good taste with soup, which is liquid. Chocolates are soft; but additional flavor is created by making its surface or inside layers crunchy or by adding nuts. Even, crunchy sound creates add on in the taste, you enjoy!

What is at work in both of above cases? Taste of each constituent in soup or chocolate does matter; but what makes a real difference is feeling or flavor created by substances of contrasts – solid and liquid in case of soup, crispy and creamy in crunchy chocolates! The most of famous and popular chefs plan and prepare their dishes with one of the most critical criteria of creating a Feeling of Contrast. I am not sure whether chefs themselves are conscious of this fact; but they seem to practice it and this is what makes their dishes different, tasty and awesome.

You can look at several popular dishes or drinks – crème brulee, Irish coffee, cocktails or chef’s Italian or Indian or other dishes. One of the most salient features would be to create a contrast not only in tastes; but also how these are presented or decorated. The combinations could be:

  • Hot and cold
  • Hard and soft
  • Solid and liquid
  • Sweet and sour
  • Crunchy and creamy
  • Coarse and fine
  • Thick and thin
  • Froth and liquid
  • Bitter and mild/sweet
  • Spongy and sticky
  • Colors in contrast – green, yellow, beige, maroon, white, brown or black etc.

Mothers’ recipes are normally around creating varieties and could also have above combinations.

Note, all of such dishes with great taste trigger all or most of your senses – sight, smell (aroma), taste, touch and hearing (like crunchy bites), and these get accentuated because of contrasts!

So, essentially man likes contrast, variation, variety and these are nothing but synonyms of “Change”. Often, we are not conscious of our natural likes. A change is man’s obvious choice. Often, we would resist or react against a change and hence spoil its beauty. Do not repel; but relish “A Change”.  Sign of real taste is when all of your senses are triggered. You are then ecstatic. You are alive, because there are changes going on all time within your body. You would be dead otherwise. Hence, a Change is inherent to Life.

Real leaders drive or bring “Change”. If you cannot do that, embrace the “Change” now; you would then have a chance one day to learn how to drive it! If you reject it, you would most probably be in peril.

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How you want to be remembered? Make a choice today

You have 3 choices:

  1. You want to be remembered for right reasons
  2. You want to be remembered for wrong reasons
  3. You do not want to be remembered

Depending upon the choice that you make, you sow seeds to build your identity. Identity of each of one of us is critical, whether we are conscious about it or not, whether we like it or not!

If people remember you for the right reasons, they come close to you, they like you, you learn from them and Life is Good. If you have got involved with wrong attitude or acts, people indeed do not want to remember you. Yet, their minds remind them of your image, since they feel repulsive, critical of you.

“Do not want to be remembered” is the most difficult choice to make! Are you surprised? You would not think of this choice, unless you are frustrated and fed up. You are furious with your friend and tell him “I do not want to remember your face and friendship”. Every time you actually attempt to do this, your friend’s face is bound to come in your mind and then only, you can try to forget it! So, this is a difficult one.

Here is what you can do depending upon choice, you make.

1.     You want to be remembered for Right reasons

  • Smile and Style – when you are present among people, use these to make your presence felt. Your style would surface automatically, when you love yourself, respect and like others.
  • Spontaneity and Support – be quick to respond with presence of your mind; do not keep mind somewhere else and talk here. First show your appreciation to others’ views or work and then share your suggestions. People often do vice versa!
  • Solutions and Sympathy – be a solution provider rather than problem narrator or creator. Sympathize with others for their issues or limitations.
  • Seek – unconventional and out-of-box methods within limits of decency.
    I did it, when I started my career in a cement plant at the age of about 20 years. Somehow, I decided to wear only full white dress at work. Cement plants during those days used to be very dusty and with coal powder flying around. At the end of each day, my dress would be dirty and next day I would turn up with spotless white dress again. People could make out from difference in conditions of my dress in morning to evening, how hard I had worked! Soon, I was known in the plant as “Man in White”! In retrospect, I think it was my immaturity; people still remember though!
  • Show – your talent. Each one of you has something exclusive. Identify it, keep enhancing it daily and demonstrate to people, with a view to create values for them.

2.     You want to be remembered for wrong reasons

  • Complain – meet people in elevator as you arrive at work place and complain about lousy weather, bad traffic and security rules. Give dumb or dirty look to people, who smile.
  • Comments – show negative flavor to your stake holders like customers, colleagues, company or community. Show off your knowledge, when not solicited.
  • Criticize – be critical of what is done for you or given to you. Point fingers at what is not there and ignore what is there. Show your supremacy in the name of your high standards and dissatisfaction with others’ efforts.
  • Controversies – get thrill or visibility by raising or involving in controversies and proving your points.
  • Contradictions – show split personality, double standard – one for sub-ordinates and another for supervisor, exhibit belief in contrarian and toxic leadership.

3.     You do not want to be remembered

  • Isolate – live and work in isolation (how?) and be self-centered.
  • Insulate – not approachable, do not interact and no concern for people in neighborhood.
  • Ignore – do not pay attention to rules and rituals, do not think or learn about good or bad and ignore expectations of others from you.

Now, it is time to know the bitter truth of your life. May be you would now discover that you have already made a choice consciously or not consciously! However, majority of you keep juggling around all three choices and do not stick to one, in real life. Effect of choice 1 is negated by 2nd and 3rd is neutral. This is where your miseries come from!!

Stick to the choice that you make and implement. 


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