Category : Social

Now, the truth behind your Inner Voice or Instinct…..

Consider the following to unravel the truth.
Unveiling the Truth

  1. When you are indecisive
    One of the most common situation is when you are indecisive, confused, directionless, at cross roads or not sure what to do in case of a given matter or issue.
    Not being able to decide, you resign to the fate and decide to accept whatever has to happen would happen. You do not want to care a damn and just sit pretty. It is also possible that at this stage, some people retire to their favorite place, where they believe they are able to think better or different. This is the most probable time, when an idea would click in your mind, what you term as your inner voice or intuition.
    Notice the state of your mind – you went past the phase of indecision and became unmindful of results. This is when an Idea surfaced!
  2. When you are frustrated or troubled
    You are doing hard work, giving your best; but you do not get results or rewards. On and on, you keep trying and then, it leads to your frustration. Or, you are playing in stock market and loosing. You are baffled and troubled. In such cases, if you decide to take a pause, forget your frustration or failure, restore your courage and plan to make a fresh start, then possibilities are high that you would get one or more ideas, which could click. You may call these ideas coming from blue or your gut feeling; but these do work.
    Note – new idea/s got triggered, when you buried the past and restarted with no conflict of thoughts to drag you back.
  3. When you have to decide in split seconds
    Take example of variety of sports – you are at the last stage of the game, with ball with you which can make you a winner or loser. Most players fumble at such juncture and hence loose. If, at this stage, you forget winning or losing, nervousness or hesitation and just focus on hitting the ball, probability is very high that at split second your mind would drive you to hit at the right place!
    Point to note – you were unmindful of result and had no conflict of interests in the sense of “your desire to win as opposed to concentrating to hit the ball”; you had only one interest – hit the ball right!
  4. When you have taken an action; but not sure of its efficacy
    There are times, when you have initiated action; but start to wonder whether you did it right. You struggle a lot to get an answer; but you can’t. Finally, you start to divert your mind or sleep over. Probabilities are high that you would suddenly get a clear thought whether it was wrong or right.
    Watch it – one clear idea pops up, when you do not have conflict of thoughts!
  5. When you defer it to your Guru or God man
    There are occasions, you are in dilemma or facing contradictions or set back and cannot figure out what should be further course. If there is someone in whom you have strong faith like Guru or God man or friend, you refer matter to him/her. If that person is above self-interests, his/her idea would work like a godly advice or voice for you.
    Once again – winning ideas surface from a second person, when he has no self-interests, which actually mean no conflict of interests.

What it really means?

Above examples lead to a clear conclusion –

When you are truly unmindful (it means that you are not worrying or keep thinking) of results and do not have conflict of interests and thoughts, then the idea or thought, which you get in your mind at that instance is actually your Inner Voice or Instinct or Intuition or Hunch or Gut Feeling or Godly Voice!

For most people, such state of mind is triggered by their way of thinking, character, certain environments or objects. It happens occasionally, but not consistently. However, successful people like Warren Buffet have such state of their mind most of time and hence, their ideas/decisions hit bull’s eye nearly all time.

What is the best You can do?

  • Change your perception. There are no external forces or objects responsible for your Instincts or Intuition or so. It is just a state of your mind.
  • Continue practice to be unmindful of results, free from conflict of interests and thoughts, especially when you have to take important decisions. Gradually, you would observe your mind does reach such state momentarily.
  • Catch the thought or idea, which pops up at that time. That’s the one, which would work for you.
  • Concentrate to learn what your triggers for above state of mind are. Use them often. But eventually, your need to do away with these triggers and use own thinking process to get this state of mind.

Finally, if you want to be a great decision maker, very important aspect of your professional or personal life, make above way of thinking or state of your mind a routine habit! Not easy; but not impossible!! Start making little efforts; results would start to yield.

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How to click with your Boss!

Bosses are all around; even at home! Very often, one may tend to think why I should care or what I can do about the boss. Especially, in so called modern societies or cultures or generation, it is common to think why I shall bother, it is his/her (boss’) job to be nice and treat me properly. I should mind my own business. Firstly, you are in same business, your boss is. Secondly, it is nothing but your over or under confidence speaking. When it starts to hurt you, you would blame everyone else except self. It may not then even occur to you that rather than boss’ behavior impacting you, you could have influenced his/her behavior!

So, it is not a bad idea, to find a good way to click with your boss. How? You might have received or read several advices how to do this. Let me share with you some straight forward steps to click.

Lot of published material talks to 3 to 13 types of bosses! Let me classify them as:

  1. Aggressive
  2. Action oriented
  3. Pragmatic
  4. Work-to-rule
  5. Dogmatic
  6. Action dis-oriented
  7. Submissive

In real life, I do not think that a given boss would exactly fit in one category. He or she would always show one dominant trait out of 7 above and rest of his or her characteristics would overlap with one or more of other traits.

Before we proceed further, let me share my general counsel:

  • Accept your boss without resistance or reservation, as he or she is.
  • Avoid comparing your boss with anyone else.
  • Abstain from criticizing your boss to any one, not even in your bed room.
  • Aim of this post is not to give you any handle of one up-man ship on your boss; but to create understanding on how to align for a smooth ride.
  • Analyze in which category, dominant trait of your boss falls and which one is 2nd most prominent trait for him/her.

Universal Formula for all kinds of Bosses

There are certain things that you should do; as these would work with all bosses or rather all kinds of people, regardless which category or class they come from:

  1. Greet your boss, when you meet him (without gender bias, I would now be using word – him) 1st time in the day, by looking into his eyes and with smile and subsequently give a smile at each encounter.
    Key is that you do this with your inner feelings to wish him indeed good. I have seen in many western countries and even elsewhere, people do this; but mechanically with no feelings attached. That won’t work! And do this whether you are at trouble with him or not!!
  2. Ask him on his face what makes him happy and what his expectations are.
  3. Whether planned or unplanned meeting with him, try and find out the purpose and prepare your points before hand. Never miss to carry pen and paper; but never carry prior notions or bias.
  4. Never defend or justify your doings or points; instead explain facts as they are and seek his support or suggest solutions.
  5. If in doubt, raise a question to him and if you have no answer to give, seek time to come back.
  6. If he pats your back, never forget to tell him that credit goes to his backing, and never bite at anybody’s back.
  7. Blame or criticize no one; instead just state what others have or could have done.

If you can imbibe these 7 habits in your character, 90% of your job is done!

Now, you can proceed to research, which category your boss belongs to and what simple things that you can do to deal with him.

 

Dealing with Aggressive, Action oriented, Work-to-rule and Dogmatic bosses

 

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Dealing with Aggressive, Action oriented, Work-to-rule and Dogmatic bosses

Aggressive boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • Highly energetic
  • Lot of ego, which he confuses with his pride
  • Fast paced and pushy
  • Would set tough targets and challenges
  • Would mostly talk loud and without filter
  • Would not care, if others are hurt from his actions; lacks empathy
  • Bold; but mostly over confident

If he starts making lives of most people difficult and takes nothing for No, he is heading towards extreme right of scale i.e. being toxic. And, if he regrets hurting people and recognizes good performance, he heads towards left of scale i.e. being dynamic. However, remember his category still remains “aggressive”.

2. Things that you should do to click

  • Pay extra attention to your health.
  • Be forthright and fearless with your boss.
  • Be aggressive in your speed of actions.
  • Appreciate his aggressiveness; but apprise him of possible fall outs and at the same time, your preparedness to bear the brunt.
  • Do not get bogged with formalities and rituals.
  • Do not argue; just augment.
  • Use patience and silence as your tools to tackle him.

Action-oriented boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • Very active
  • Out spoken; may boasts at times
  • Would drive lot of actions, without caring too much for results
  • In case of poor results, would not mind to blame everyone else
  • Over confident; but may confuse it as real confidence
  • Short – lived memories
  • Driving what he believes, without considering others’ views would drive him towards Aggressive side; on other hand, becoming conscious of others’ comfort level and limitations would take him towards Pragmatism.

2. Things that you should do to click

  • Match his speed of action with your speed of closing, what is in your hands
  • Do not initiate long discussions with him and instead focus on your actions
  • Do not dither
  • Be brief and willing
  • Be prompt to bring to his attention any barrier or show stopper
  • Be systematic in documenting your actions

Work-to-rule boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • Disciplined and balanced
  • Organized
  • Controlled temperament
  • Very compliant
  • Immune to criticism
  • Often inflexible
  • Dispassionate and conservative

2. Things that you could do

  • Be vociferously compliant and stickler to rules
  • Do not expect out of turn recognition to your performance
  • Do not lose your initiatives and drive to change and put forward same to boss by explaining how it is beneficial to organization and would be liked by top management (bosses of the boss)
  • You have best opportunity to learn “how to live with NOs”
  • Learn to enjoy “lack of excitement”
  • Appreciate boss for his work ethics and imbibe what you don’t have

Dogmatic boss

  1. Things that you would observe
    Like the case of aggressive boss, you do not need to dig to discover things about him; these would be auto-visible.
  • Very set pattern of thinking and doings
  • Tough and rigid
  • Courageous to carry forward his conviction against odds
  • Poor listener; he may appear to listen, but actually not
  • Conventional but complex
  • Impervious to others’ feelings
  • May command respect of top bosses

2. Things that you should do

  • Listen to him attentively, while looking into his eyes
  • Extend your full support and try to win his heart
  • Bestow your appreciation for his focused approach
  • Tell him that you are custodian of his vision
  • Now, seek his blessings to do things differently and flexibly

 

Dealing with action dis-oriented, submissive and pragmatic bosses 

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Winning Action dis-oriented, Submissive and Pragmatic bosses

Action dis-oriented boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • He believes that he has open mind
  • He believes he has highest passion for his company and employees
  • He believes in Change and New Ideas
  • He is proud of what he has done in past
  • But, he is confused
  • He is indecisive
  • He may assign right to the Wrong and wrong to the Right

2.  Things that you should do for him

  • You should be seen by him as systematic and methodical
  • Request delegation of authority, evolve decision and present it for his decision
  • Catalog all of your actions to appraise him fully
  • Give him full credit for success of such decision
  • Defend him, if things fail and you shoulder the responsibility

You have the best case to learn “decision making” out of indecision!

Submissive boss

  1. Things that you would observe in him
  • He would be dutiful and humble
  • Would have conservative approach
  • Would be willing to delegate a lot
  • He would seek ideas and opinions of others
  • He would be God fearing
  • He could have split personality
  • He would be flexible to the extent that he can be bent either way!

In some cases, such boss may promote what is known in French “Laissez faire” style of working i.e. leave the group entirely to itself to manage.

2.  Things that you should do to click

  • Help him to make right choices
  • Actively participate to drive right decisions
  • Show full ownership on such decisions and outcome
  • Do not allow him to be manipulated by those, who may like to exploit his flexibility and you let your boss know the support you are rendering on this

Pragmatic boss

  1. Things that you would discover in him
  • He would be a progressive thinker
  • Practical and logical
  • Realistic and dynamic
  • Flexible and approachable
  • Fair and reasonable in his decisions
  • He could be a change agent
  • He would be people friendly, customers included

2.  What you can do to click with him

  • Go extra miles to demonstrate that you are well meaning
  • Your ownership and integrity cannot be compromised
  • Show that you are focused on attention to details and quality
  • Be well informed and brief, during your meetings with him
  • Never take him as granted and be very straight forward

There is one variation in this category of boss – Pragmatic + Charismatic (P+C), where you do not have to do anything to click with him; he will come and click with you! This class of boss may not be very common.

So, you can, now, make your days at work or home happier by:

  • Understanding 1st and 2nd most dominant traits of your boss
  • Using Universal Formula
  • Unique actions to click
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Misconceptions around Work-Life balance

Misconceptions start from very description of popular term “Work-Life balance”. Work is actually part of life. The mistake is to treat Work and Life (i.e. personal life) as 2 separate entities and then, talk of balancing.
Most successful people have lot of work, less of free time; but they are mostly healthy and rarely talk of missing on work-life balance. Why? They might be auto-balancing, which very few can see!

Misconceptions galore

  1. Treating Work and Life as 2 separate compartments.
    These are actually 2 aspects of one Whole – Life; or you can say 2 sides of same coin.
  2.  Assumption that how and what you do in your personal life would not impact professional life or vice versa is wholly misplaced.
  3. Exaggerated notions
  • Dedication at work means over-working.
  • Ownership inevitably means stress and worry.
  • Getting fatigued and tired is alright, week-end is there to recharge.
  • At last, I have time for my family.
  • Oh! Now that I am retired from work, I can do what I always wanted to do.

    4. Split behavior

  • Hands-on at work, hands-off at home
  • Bull at work, bear at home or vice versa
  • Involved at work, indulge at home
  • Conscious at work, crazy at home
  • Pressure at work, release at home

These misconceptions also bring you morning or Monday blues.

Drawing a parallel
What you do in personal life, are directly relevant to your professional life. Look at these parallels:

  1. Correct way of treating employees is how you treat your family – respectful and reasonable, considerate and caring.
  2. Best example of ownership on your team or project is how you parent (especially a mother) your children.
  3. Your loyalty to Company should be no less than your loyalty to Spouse.
  4. You can’t do without courage and calm to manage a conflict at work and that’s what you need also at home.
  5. What drives you for decisions on your personal investments should also drive you for business decisions at work.

What can auto-balance your “Work-Life”

  1. Believe that work is never a burden or liability. It is meant to be enjoyed as much as you enjoy while at home or holidays.
    At one stroke, you would develop your dedication, dynamism and diligence.
  2. What you like to do, do not postpone it to another day. Find a way to do little of all what you like or have to; but incrementally and without compromising your duties.
    If you have a desire to find a way, you would surely get it! Our dogma – we do not believe this works. Factually, it does!!
  3. If you want to be a horse of long race, you ought to be healthy and happy.
  4. Forget that “over work or excess stress” can be off-set by “over rest or excess relaxation”. Both are bad!
  5. Eliminate 2 Big blunders, most commit – to ignore “qualitative development of self” and “securing future”.
    On Qualitative Development, you normally think –
  • It is a separate subject.
  • It would happen, as you gain experience.
  • It would come, when you get training.
  • It is not meaningful to your work and meaningless for your vacation.
    Human race is most fortunate to learn what is good and what is not, what is right and wrong, from childhood through academia to now. Hence, you know these already! Experience would only consolidate, training would polish and some medium would help you to change for better.
    Make it integral to your work and life and drive your qualitative development.
    Securing Future is the best “stress relieving dose” –
  • When you earn, you spend and when you spend, think to save.
  • Save and invest to secure your/family’s future. Many think it is not importance today; they regret tomorrow.

Here is “What You Should Do”

  1. Set your definition right on “Work-Life balance”.
  2. See the parallels in Professional and Personal life.
  3. Seek joy in everything you do and blend it with qualitative aspects.
  4. Stop over-doings in name of passion or vacation.
  5. Slice your time, when you are not sleeping, into –
    40 to 45% at Work
    40 to 45% not at Work (for family, socializing, travel…)
    10 to 20% for your health, self-development and securing future.
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