You have 3 choices:
- You want to be remembered for right reasons
- You want to be remembered for wrong reasons
- You do not want to be remembered
Depending upon the choice that you make, you sow seeds to build your identity. Identity of each of one of us is critical, whether we are conscious about it or not, whether we like it or not!
If people remember you for the right reasons, they come close to you, they like you, you learn from them and Life is Good. If you have got involved with wrong attitude or acts, people indeed do not want to remember you. Yet, their minds remind them of your image, since they feel repulsive, critical of you.
“Do not want to be remembered” is the most difficult choice to make! Are you surprised? You would not think of this choice, unless you are frustrated and fed up. You are furious with your friend and tell him “I do not want to remember your face and friendship”. Every time you actually attempt to do this, your friend’s face is bound to come in your mind and then only, you can try to forget it! So, this is a difficult one.
Here is what you can do depending upon choice, you make.
1. You want to be remembered for Right reasons
- Smile and Style – when you are present among people, use these to make your presence felt. Your style would surface automatically, when you love yourself, respect and like others.
- Spontaneity and Support – be quick to respond with presence of your mind; do not keep mind somewhere else and talk here. First show your appreciation to others’ views or work and then share your suggestions. People often do vice versa!
- Solutions and Sympathy – be a solution provider rather than problem narrator or creator. Sympathize with others for their issues or limitations.
- Seek – unconventional and out-of-box methods within limits of decency.
I did it, when I started my career in a cement plant at the age of about 20 years. Somehow, I decided to wear only full white dress at work. Cement plants during those days used to be very dusty and with coal powder flying around. At the end of each day, my dress would be dirty and next day I would turn up with spotless white dress again. People could make out from difference in conditions of my dress in morning to evening, how hard I had worked! Soon, I was known in the plant as “Man in White”! In retrospect, I think it was my immaturity; people still remember though!
- Show – your talent. Each one of you has something exclusive. Identify it, keep enhancing it daily and demonstrate to people, with a view to create values for them.
2. You want to be remembered for wrong reasons
- Complain – meet people in elevator as you arrive at work place and complain about lousy weather, bad traffic and security rules. Give dumb or dirty look to people, who smile.
- Comments – show negative flavor to your stake holders like customers, colleagues, company or community. Show off your knowledge, when not solicited.
- Criticize – be critical of what is done for you or given to you. Point fingers at what is not there and ignore what is there. Show your supremacy in the name of your high standards and dissatisfaction with others’ efforts.
- Controversies – get thrill or visibility by raising or involving in controversies and proving your points.
- Contradictions – show split personality, double standard – one for sub-ordinates and another for supervisor, exhibit belief in contrarian and toxic leadership.
3. You do not want to be remembered
- Isolate – live and work in isolation (how?) and be self-centered.
- Insulate – not approachable, do not interact and no concern for people in neighborhood.
- Ignore – do not pay attention to rules and rituals, do not think or learn about good or bad and ignore expectations of others from you.
Now, it is time to know the bitter truth of your life. May be you would now discover that you have already made a choice consciously or not consciously! However, majority of you keep juggling around all three choices and do not stick to one, in real life. Effect of choice 1 is negated by 2nd and 3rd is neutral. This is where your miseries come from!!
Stick to the choice that you make and implement.