Why best of partners part their ways in worst manners!

abcGeorge Clooney, famed Hollywood actor was adjudged as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, until he decided to tie the knot with Amal Alamuddin, an international and human rights lawyer, in September 2014. Press has written lot of love stories and quotes for the couple; but, it has now reported that their marriage is on the rocks. A more than decade old fairy tale like relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has completely fractured few months back. All the fanfare behind courtship and marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seems to be in doldrums.

Stories of Bollywood or Indian celebrities are no different – break-up of industrialist Nes Wadia and actress Preity Zinta, tennis player Leander Paes and actress Mahima Chaudhary, Sarika and Kamal Hasaan – both from film industry, actor Hrithik Roshan and interior designer Sussanne and so on.

Forget the celebrities, look at common people as partners, whom you believe as best in your neighborhood and you may discover that their partnership is not easy.

It seems to a very common feature that what ensue on the best nod ends on a worst note. What was prominent to start with, equally or more painful is to end with a relationship. It appears as if it is an order arranged by nature.

Our notion or definition for what makes it best is much fractured

Two very attractive faces, two equally and highly qualified spouses, two strong or influential personalities or pair from two famous families are perceived as best partners. But, history shows that such pairs cease to live at ease sooner and eventually break up sordidly.

Do you believe that two equally intelligent spouses, two tall partners or two accomplished persons in same profession co-exist congenially? They don’t; they face more disagreements than agreements since each one has his/her own ideas, which he/she would like to prevail with. Arguments fly high and disenchantment grows. It is like two identical polarities repelling each other.

Two best together cannot make best-square or ideal pair. Only when two persons complement each other by their characters and attributes, they make ideal combination. It means that if one is strong headed, other should be mild; if first one is extrovert, other one be introvert. If one is bright; other should be dull. And you would soon realize that it is not very appealing!

So, what is ideal?

The best pair or combination is what is individually balanced!

This is true of any form of relationship. If you want your honeymoon with a customer to last long, you on your part have to be balanced in your dealing – neither too cozy nor too curt.

Popularity or prominence is prone to prejudices

Everyone wants to be popular and be in public eyes. You soon start to enjoy your image and prestige. And, greed goes in your head and you get addicted to have more and more of prominence. This is the starting point of driving a divide between the pair. In initial period, one or both would not even realize or acknowledge that anything wrong is developing; this is stage of denial. By the time one or both wake up, it is already too late normally to normalize back.

So, too much public glare could be gloomy; your high image can lower intimacy with your partner; lot of fanfare about your relationship can turn into source of frustration.

One thing is very clear – if your choice is to build a relationship, you have to choose to banish your biases at all costs!

Partnership is more a game of compromises and not gaining command over each other.

Therefore, your private as well as professional life is at its best if you are balanced and free from biases!

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4 Comments
  • Rudra
    Dec 16,2016 at 5:21 pm

    Good ‘gen’ on Hollywood/Bollywood Sir!! 😉

    Read somewhere on the Internet long back regarding why the divorce rates are so high these days – the reason they say… “Back in the days when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away”.

    Well can’t comment any further… I am still single (and probably happy) 🙂

    But informative post… will surely help me in future!! 😀

    • Dec 17,2016 at 12:39 pm

      Thanks a lot for your valued views and feedback!

      The post starts with Hollywood and Bollywood references, because readers can quickly co-relate; but eventually it brings out 2 points, which are very vital for all forms of relationships – customer relationship, friendship or one with supervisor or sub-ordinate. So, you need those 2 points, regardless of your marital status, to make your relationship to rock. Hope, it helps.

  • Dec 13,2016 at 12:19 pm

    I feel most of the content draws itself from real life scenarios and experiences over a life time. I agree with the article in general and all the married people(remaining married successfully for a substantially long time) will agree that marriage means adaptability and adjustment, to replace with nice words for “compromise”. It appears true that for at least many of the cases, the complementary nature of the partners make it a tighter bonding.

    • Dec 13,2016 at 4:23 pm

      I highly appreciate your valued views.

      What you have stated is very apt. As mentioned in the post, please permit me share one thought – complementary nature of two partners has been seen to work to only an extent and not in every situation, one encounters in life. As an example, if one is aggressive, then other needs to be accommodative in order to be complementary; otherwise there would be attrition between them. But, how long would that work? At one stage, second partner would start to wonder why I need to be accommodative all time and that day is the starting day of trouble.

      So, what works in long run is both individually should be accommodative i.e. in general, be balanced in all aspects; may not be easy but that works all time. Don’t you think so? Please enlighten me with your views.

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