What to do when you want to break free from all barriers!

Beyond all barriers! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

There are occasions, when you just want to break free; you want to rebel against all practices and polity, reject rules and rituals; dump duties and discipline; you are so agitated that nothing seems to satisfy you! Have you faced this kind of situation or state of your mind? I have witnessed in many people from time to time, including myself during my earlier years. It is not that these people and I actually break rules or duties; but there is intense urge to do the same or question why this is for me! People even exhort God – where are you; can’t you see what is happening to me for no rhyme or reasons!!

Your dear ones would call it mood swings; psychologists would call it withdrawal or depressive syndromes and biologists would call it hormonal changes in your body!

Why rebellion and not reasoning rules the mind!

There are variety of reasons in layman’s language, which govern such a state:

  1. When you actually don’t enjoy, what you are doing at work or in private life; but you end up doing for compelling reasons.
  2. When your frustration or fear crosses a threshold.
  3. When you give up on your health and in turn patience.
  4. When your feelings or emotions are suppressed.
  5. When you don’t get what you want or have got everything you wanted.
  6. When you have slept too less or too much!
  7. When you are mentally and/or physically fatigued for too long but not getting respite.
  8. When you feel let down by your own sincerity and honesty.
  9. When you are put down by others in public.
  10. When you have worked too hard, but without rewards.
  11. When you have had exceedingly good time.
  12. When you detach yourself from everything, including your eventual goals; albeit such detachment may only be temporary.

So, having too good or too bad a time or having nothing to do are bad in every case! Everyone usually feels justified while in rebellion mode. Most think that such cycles are part of human nature, though end result of such state is never good.

It is nothing but a buildup of negative thoughts or emotions, impulse of which is too strong to allow any rationale to percolate or prevail!

Dealing with desire to break free!

There are 2 ways to cope with this state:

  • Emotional
  • Rational

You are tempted to adopt emotional method, since you are already in emotional mode and psychologically, you tend to believe that only iron can cut iron. So, you allow yourself to get soaked and swept by your emotions – do whatever you want to break free! You don’t want to go for work, don’t go; you want to shout, shout; you want to cry, cry; you want to break traffic rules, do it and get punished. It is alright as long as you don’t physically hurt or harm self or others; but danger is under emotions, you may not know, when you cross the limits. These emotional outbursts give you immediate relief and satisfy your ego immensely; but soon you have to run for damage control, when you see adverse consequences of same. Worse still is when you start to justify your actions or seek pity on pretext of human weakness. We can watch lot of people doing this on political, private, corporate or social fora.

Emotional outbursts, no doubt, turn you around – from reactions to remorse or repentance, which calms you down and that actually becomes a cause of your relief! However, it comes at a price – often leaves a bad taste and trail.

But, there is a priceless alternative – Rational approach. It aims at creating true understanding of why things happen, why state of equilibrium disturbs, emotions build up, possibilities and limitations that everyone needs to live with. There are lot of interpretations floating around to explain rational approach. However, a right one has to focus on 3 aspects:

  1. Everything happens for a reason!
    There is always a cause and its effects. Nothing comes from blue. It is a different reason that we may be ignorant of a cause and experience only its effect.
  2. Everything creates its opposite mirror image!
    Pleasure prompts pain, shine sows shadow, cruelty kindles kindness, successes spark setbacks and vice versa.
    Life is all about experiencing the opposites and excelling by managing both. So good and bad, right and wrong are 2 sides of 1 coin. You can’t see both sides of a coin at the same time. There is only thing, that can make you to view both at the same time (strictly speaking in quick succession), which is our mind. All of our problems and prejudices arise, when we pair 2 opposites and view.
    Secret of managing 2 opposites lies in dealing with same individually – one at a time!
  3. Eventually only good survives!
    However difficult, frustrating, bitter or crazy “good, right or positive” may sound to be, it is the ultimate winner.
    In real life, most don’t believe it, they keep on swinging between 2 opposites, test emotional waters and eventually swim to the right, when senses prevail.

Rationale of this article is barriers are a necessity, which when overcome gives you the feeling of freedom! More you accept this fact through rational approach, easier would it be to break free!!

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8 Comments
  • Angel
    Jul 7,2015 at 11:11 pm

    Sir, thank you so much for this. I was in the verge of giving up, but I saw this. You do not know how much better I feel right now. I am thinking of killing myself and everything. THANK YOU FOR THIS! YOU SAVED MY LIFE. May you continue to bring LIFE and LIGHT to others who feel like giving up.
    I will continue my life.

    From Philippines with respect and love,
    Angel

    • Jul 8,2015 at 3:24 pm

      I am grateful to you for your very thoughtful comments and kind words!

      You have hidden energy and potential! That is why you have now bounced back. Unleash the hidden to rise further. Please do not look back; even if you do so, ignore and please don’t create pressure on your mind or have conflict of thoughts. Keep moving forward. You like to do something or don’t; remember you need to live to see it – whether you are doing or not doing!! That gives a strong message – life is only meant to be lived.

      We need setback to get success; need to breakdown to get breakthrough!!! So, please live and live by your heart.

  • Rudra
    Apr 14,2015 at 6:23 pm

    In my case, if I see something is going out of my control, I sit back (probably smile) and let it happen. If you know it’s completely out of your control, there’s no point in trying too hard, right?

    The last point “Eventually only good survives!” is optimistically hopeful!! 🙂

    A break-free post for sure…

    • Apr 15,2015 at 5:28 pm

      I appreciate your comments!

      What you do when things go wrong and not under your control is right but please do make observation of the same. These occasions are very important and give you a lot to learn and ability to find causes to prevent these next time.

      Yes; regardless one believes or not, hopes or not, fact is that only good survives in eventual run!

  • Venuka
    Apr 13,2015 at 4:42 pm

    thanks for this article sir. i can corelate my plight with what you have written. No rewards after putting in so much of efforts, after working very hard.
    Do you think all such emotional outburst shows our weaker side? Sometimes i think yes, but sometimes i also feel its right to display our frustration.

    Regards

    • Apr 15,2015 at 4:35 pm

      I am sorry for my delayed response.

      You are very welcome and I highly appreciate your valued views and sharing what you are experiencing! As mentioned in the post, emotional outburst is most common when we don’t get what we want or what we believe we deserve. But, fact is it reflects our weaker side.

      Rather than displaying frustration, why not display courage and candor to say calmly but firmly what you feel and deserve. Demand an explanation and follow up action, if you are right and pursue it till justice is done for you!

  • Tushar Kulkarni
    Apr 10,2015 at 1:16 pm

    Absolutely nice…I really like it, and real true…Thanks for sharing Sir..

    Best Regards,

    Tushar

    • Apr 10,2015 at 2:43 pm

      I highly value your comments! Also, very pleased to know that you liked it!!

      All of these ideas/facts are part of my journey to give back, for what I got from you all.

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