While falling in love, your feelings are simple; but on continuing, these become complex!

Beginning of Love; Source: http://www.flickr.com/

When you fall in love with anything – nature, job, hobby, friend, stranger or else, you feel you are in a new world; you experience bliss and beauty; you are completely captivated; you are most probably not able to fathom what is happening! It is a feeling, which is no less than divine, pure, unique and simple!! Though you make it to such colossal state; but when you continue, you are unable to maintain it!!!

This is a paradox. What you like and love, you are unable to latch on to it. When you continue with what you have fallen in love with; story start to take turns and your feelings begin to become complex. Things start to fall apart, which is seldom noticed by you and even if you notice, you believe it is a fait accompli!

What happens when you fall in love

You must have fallen in love with one thing or another. If you have not noticed before the state you are in at that time, do it now:

  1. You are singular in your thoughts.
  2. You have no conflicts of thoughts.
  3. You are very focused.
  4. You are excited and energized.
  5. You are extremely positive.
  6. You don’t think of option to retract.
  7. You believe that a whole new world is now open for you.
  8. Your confidence reigns supreme.
  9. You no longer feel constrained by difficulties and limitations.

Such is the intense experience of falling in love that its explanation is beyond words. Remember, we are talking of love, not lust, which is as different as what happiness is compared to pleasure. This state is actually “inspiration”. Falling in love is truly a feeling of inspiration!

Why it starts to change and get complicated, when you continue

Most believes love or inspiration is accidental, coincidental or heavenly sent. Though this belief helps make an exciting beginning, they are unable to take it forward in a right manner. An inspiration or love must be linked to the goal/s, which one wants to achieve in his/her life. Instead, most link it to their desires or wants! This is where conflict starts and seed is sown for complexity! When complexity grows, it gives birth to biases or prejudices!! What looked great earlier starts to look grim; what was congenial becomes controversial; beauty becomes bane.

If you cannot align love or inspiration with your goals thereby giving it a purpose, it is better to drop the former or change the latter (goals). If you do not do it, you would lose love or inspiration in any case once euphoria is over but with pains. Losing out a positive is worse than bearing a negative! This may sound strange but true!!

If love, liking or relationship loses its charm over a period of time, it is not difference of opinions, clash of interest or arguments on the spur of the moment. These are only triggers. Real culprit is the bias, which has already got built and exists in your mind. Fairy tales or most publicized relationships of powerful or popular people/celebrities crack and break because of biases developed.

Moral of this article is damage which your biases can do; even love can’t repair fully. “Inspiration or love” and “Emotions or biases” are mutually exclusive. Never be under illusion that you can flirt with both. Most people do this and that is why they go through bouts of success and set-back, pleasure and pain! Biases are also biggest barrier to your growth and accomplishments. Biases must be banished as briskly as possible. It is only then that you can sustain and maintain love!

So, if you were to choose between “Love’ and “No Bias”, chose the latter since love can bring biases; but biases can never bring love!

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4 Comments
  • Rudra
    Jun 28,2014 at 4:04 pm

    Well, who would know better than me 😉 …have fallen in “love” 93 times so far (not necessarily with humans) in whatever little life I have lived :), so I’ve seen it going from simple to complex!

    “What happens when you fall in love” – do you truly believe we are singular in thoughts, have no conflicts and we are always focused? I thought the opposite?? (rest all points made sense to me though)

    Can’t agree with you more on “Love = Inspiration”, again… ask me!! 😉 Love inspires, love transpires, love stirs, love enthuses, love excites, love enlivens, love……… well, love moves you…

    But even after getting complex, don’t you think it automatically tends to get simpler? And this vicious circle goes on and on? And that’s when and what you call a perfect relationship? Again, not necessarily with humans…

    Love-ly article… 🙂

    • Jun 28,2014 at 5:14 pm

      Very interesting! It is great to be in love most of the times!!

      If you did not have singular thoughts or no conflict of thoughts, while falling in love, then think over again. Was it is really a love or a state few seconds or minutes or hours later? When you are falling in love, you just do it. You have no second thought; you don’t see left or right or back! Further, if you believe that love = inspiration, then inspiration does not have a second thought. When there is no second thought, there can’t be a conflict!! Let me also share with you, sensing a singular thought does require focus. Most often, people miss that.

      Perfect relationship is an illusion. People don’t have it; but love to call it so. If there is perfect relationship, then it would not change from simple to complex. Complex to simple is possible that only if it breaks first and then scars could still remain.

      It is good to stir the thoughts like you do!!!

      • Rudra
        Jul 1,2014 at 11:09 am

        No Sirji, it was actually love, trust me 😉

        But you know what, maybe you are right…!! If I would have understood love, I would have somewhere else, doing something else! 🙁 But anyway…

        (Do I sound dispirited?? No, I am not!!) 🙂

        Nice learning…

        • Jul 1,2014 at 3:04 pm

          Thanks! Real love never puts anyone in dilemma!!

          It is good to fall in love with anything anytime, as long as you can align mutually love and goals of your life.

          Please keep it up.

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