Burden of being beautiful!

The Beauty! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Is it not true that “Beauty is bliss”, “Beauty is blast” and “Beauty signifies the good”?

Being beautiful is undoubtedly fascinating and a positive aspect – be it beautiful personality, physique, product, place to visit, phenomena of nature, characteristic or any other body/being! Look at advertisements of any product or service in print or social media; pictures of beautiful models or to a lesser extent handsome men are indispensable for glamorizing and catchy campaigns to a large extent. If a model is more appealing, the advertisement would correspondingly attract more views, likes and higher sale of products. It is unthinkable that a new model of car can be launched without attractive models beautifying it from its sides. Be it cheer leaders say for soccer or cricket or be it front desks of hotels, beautiful looks and physique are prerequisites! If you are upset and calling a service center to register your complain, a beautiful voice coming from other end would soothe your anger!

So, a beauty is alluring and seductive. It attracts attention of most, brings in revenue, popularity and publicity. However, it can also break peace of mind, create controversies and even wreak havoc. History shows that beautiful piece of land or looks culminated into wars in olden time. On the other hands, present times bring worries for beautiful things of different kinds.

So, reality is that being beautiful is a blessing as well as a burden!

Universal effects of a beauty

What is beautiful would always bear following effects, be it a person, place or product:

  1. It attracts too much attention.
  2. It evokes emotions among observers.
  3. It creates illusion in minds of onlookers.
  4. It instigates feeling to get involved or indulge.
  5. It encourages rivalries and/or competitions.
  6. It is pricey; at the same time not easy to maintain.
  7. It loses its freedom and security to an extent.
  8. It becomes gullible.
  9. It gets too exposed to remain free from errors or cracks.
  10. It converts the biggest strength into the biggest weakness.

Beauty and balancing act of nature!

When beauty stands out, it runs the risk of succumbing to nuances of nature. The way it is difficult to sustain the spree of successes, it is also not easy to preserve beauty in its original form. Anything at elevated level requires extra efforts, in absence of which, it would be denigrate to a lower and sustainable level. It is often termed as balancing act of nature; but, truly speaking it is set of our acts only!

Here below is how beauty evolves or devolves:

  1. A beautiful person would tend to become:
    1. Difficult, because of popularity, praises, publicity and premium that person commands
    2. Sensitive or short tempered, because of emerging ego or arrogance
    3. Demanding, since the person becomes passionate for distinction and differentiation
    4. Emotional, since it is difficult for a beauty to be rational
    5. Insecure and vulnerable, because of high image and exposure
    6. Obsessed with beauty of self, which can lead to depression or even recourse to rehabilitation center
  2. A beautiful place is likely to be:
    1. Difficult in access like Fly Geyser, Nevada in USA, Mount Roraima near border of Brazil and Venezuela or many other amazing places
    2. Secluded
    3. Serene, unless it is a water fall
    4. Expensive, until it is commercialized; but then it starts to lose its beauty
    5. Risky
      Beauty of such place would degenerate, if accessibility and affordability increases!
  3. A beautiful product loses its sheen, when it becomes immensely popular like it has happened with iPhone of Apple. Its beauty inspired lot of competitors, main one being Samsung with its Galaxy range. Implications are – premium drops, margin diminishes and whole organization could face unbelievable challenges, like Apple Inc. is facing now. To sustain beautiful products, you have to be truly innovative as well as creative.

Beauty of the message

To be extraordinary requires extraordinary set of contradictions to be managed. So, message that emerges for beautiful things or persons is:

Remain grounded, while flying high in minds of people! Be humble, while harboring high ambitions. Be firm but flexible with the fans. Keep the eyes on; but, hands off. Remain glued to your goals, while being greedy for getting attention.

Very significant is also to make your choice between “skin deep beauty” and “beauty in depth”. Former may not be in your hands but latter is; former can fail but latter always flourishes!

If you follow the above, then a beauty can be less of a burden and more of bliss!

A miraculous quality – Focus, which is most misunderstood & misused!

Great Focus! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Most people understand what Focus is; but, misunderstand its meaning, power and use! If focus is correctly understood, we would become very different in our style and strength. Focus is one human quality, which has far reaching impact on our mind, body, soul, success, health and happiness!! All successful leaders to legends, businessmen to celebrities use this quality as main contributor to their success.

Focus can bring radical changes in your character and class. What you need is to fathom it right and follow it faithfully!

How focus is misinterpreted and misrepresented!

This is mostly because of lack of awareness. Though focus is talked about in all walks of life, including corporate, its correct meaning is hardly emphasized.

Focus does not mean:

  1. Having a concerted thought for desired object or activity, while allowing all other kinds of thoughts crossing your mind.
  2. Doing a single physical activity, for which you believe you are focused, while all types of thoughts are wandering your mind.
  3. Carrying a train of similar thoughts for desired object or activity but with interruptions.
  4. Multi-tasking, even if you believe you are fully concentrating on multiple tasks!
  5. Having more than one type of thoughts, though connected with same subject or object e.g., kicking football for penalty shoot-out, feeling nervous and thinking that everyone expects you to net a goal. Though there is one subject, there are 3 types of thoughts – to hit ball right, fear of failure and expectation of others! This is no focus and most probably, you would miss your target!!
  6. Headstrong or blind run for your objective/s.

True meaning of Focus

Focus means “your mind has a single type of thoughts, which is also driving your body in sync!” As an example, Focus on breathing means mind is having thought of breath going in and out and you are also breathing exactly at same time and sequence. Another example – you are at the goal post and your mind and body are fully in tune for hitting ball at right spot, with no other thought. Then, it would surely be a goal! Even if goal keeper tries to intercept you, you would miraculously deflect the ball past him!!

So, focus is mind and body getting fully synchronized to perform one and only one activity – “a thought or thought + physical action” at a time, when past and future lose their meaning to you.

When you continue to remain focused for a period of time, then either you would have same type of thought repeating in your mind or have a train of thoughts but each one aligned towards achieving your aim or goal. Let us term such train of thoughts as “Same type of thoughts”.

In practical life, it is difficult to remain truly focused all the time. What is important is high degree of focus, which can be defined as:

Degree of Focus = 2 ⁄ x

Where x is no. of same type of thoughts in mind per minute.

This is a simple formula, but has solid implications:

  • x can never be zero, because mind can never be blank, unless dead.
  • If x is 1, then it means that your mind has only single type of thoughts, which could be dangerous as it would go in a loop of same thought and can’t come out of same.
  • Ideal degree of focus in 1, when you have 2 types of thoughts – 1st for the object or activity you are concentrating at and 2nd to monitor its start to finish and take it forward to repeat or make only such variation adequate to reach your aim.
  • Practical degree of focus is 2 ⁄ 3, where 3rd type of thought is for observing your body/surroundings.
  • If degree of focus falls below 2 ⁄ 4 = 0.5, you are no longer focused.
  • Distraction means other type/s of incoming thoughts, which interfere with single types of thoughts on which you are concentrating.
    Best way to deal with distraction is not to react or forcefully remove such incoming thoughts, but ignore; don’t give importance. Your mind would restore its focus.

Startling results of being focused

When degree of focus is 2 ⁄ 3 and under no case below 0.5, you would observe that:

  1. Several of key your functions merge:
    1. Mind and soul or conscious and sub-conscious parts of mind
    2. Brain and Body
    3. Inner voice and Inspiration
  2. You would feel energetic and motivated.
  3. All negative emotions – fear, frustration, anxiety, anger, aversion or delusion would vanish.
  4. Anything that is feasible comes within your reach.
  5. You feel supremely confident and courageous.
  6. You won’t and can’t do anything wrong!
    In other words, degree of focus of ill meaning people is always below 0.5!
  7. You become amazingly effective.
  8. It brings a rare combination in you – being innovative and creative at same time!
  9. If you remain focused most time, your vitality and virtues multiply.
    It makes you happy and healthy.
    You may have observed that unhappy or unhealthy people are not focused. Conversely, focus can address your ailments in many ways!

So, if you wish to end your weaknesses and enhance wisdom, please start practicing “Focus” properly and prudently. You would then unlock real power and potential of this magnificent quality, which you possess!

Why profit or power pushes you near God; but loss pulls you down near grave!

Inherent strength makes Fall & Rise equally invigorating! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Is not it ironical that inherently all leadership laurels, saintly sermons, pious preaching and quotable quotes revolve around values, virtues and quality; yet our addiction and admiration for profit and power always reign supreme? If a CEO of a company takes fat salary and bonus, a promoter garners millions of dollars of fund in initial public offering of his start-up, top boss manages his company to make handsome profit or a political leader ascends to high power, media, press and general public would adore and elevate him next to the God, go gaga for what he speaks, wears or eats. Have you not observed that such persons, who sit on profit and/or power, are being made by media and press heroes of nation, saviors of societies and even visionaries of Universe? Are such sycophancies justified simply for reasons of money and muscles of power? May be that media and press are unable to sell their stories to common public without bringing profit and power in limelight! But then, same media or press would raise flag against sycophancy and be seen as upholder of moral values!! So, there is a big contradiction!!!

Let us assume that some of above leaders or bosses are indeed deserving but unable to deliver in difficult time, what happens then? Everyone would simply dump them! Most of personal growth materials, motivational discourses or moral essays talk of success and failure as two sides of the same coin i.e. life; but it goes for a toss, when it comes to exhibiting or executing it in open. We seem to be only concerned with what would sell to fraternity and get us profit and publicity! Is that not true?

We always love to talk and read about story of a successful person when he or she has got success after failure. However, we write off same person, when he/she fails after success! Is not it an intellectual bankruptcy that we term failure an opportunity; but fight shy of welcoming it or at least talk of how that person is fighting a failure and surviving to get success?

Look at events of charity held in most countries. These are generally presided over by who are popular or powerful, but not charitable! It seems it is public, which supports cause of who holds chair or cosmetic charisma; rest is secondary and is good for lip service!

Further, you can observe some of leaders, who have lost power. They appear dejected and disillusioned. They seem to have forgotten that loss is meant to revitalize and resurge. They might be the ones, who orchestrated that power is poison! So what is the deal, if power is lost? Contradiction is also true of employees in most organizations – if their bête noire becomes their boss, suddenly they would not only like to become his blue eyed boys/girls, but also idolize him! Present generation of employees believes in high standards of conduct but would not hesitate to clap for sub-standard expressions or writings, if coming from bosses!!

Research shows that what you support would also swarm you! So, if you are a party to contradiction like above, it would also become part of your life taking you through cycles of success and setback, highs and lows!!

Points to ponder!

Shake your conscience; most likely you would not like the above state, which our society has come to. Please challenge yourself with following questions:

  1. Unknowingly, have you started following double standards?
  2. Though you talk of virtues; do you walk with vices?
  3. Has “living in contradiction” become part of your character?

How about trashing any or all on the above, if true? Take a constructive and consistent view of every situation and you would turn a new leaf in your life! You would usher in change the way you think and do things, like never before!!

Dramatic difference in following Ethics and Morals by fear versus choice!

Results of doing it by Choice! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

High standards of ethics and morals are expected to be followed in all civilized societies. But sadly speaking, I have not come across any organized teaching of ethics and morals, as part of curriculum in schools and colleges in any country. Yes, there are laws to punish for violation of ethics. Unwritten norms for maintaining morals are practiced by individuals, based upon their perceptions of what constitutes high standards.

Every respectable company across the globe has strong ethics policy, which every employee is expected to honor. In case of non-compliance, company policy would state the punishment up to termination of employment and penalties. One of the most common elements in such policy is “No discrimination or harassment at work”. Yet, I have witnessed in many corporates that managers or managements subtly or obscurely discriminate or harass employees in some form or another, which naturally go with impunity.

Banes of being under fear!

Yes, instilling fear for essential practices is better than allowing non-compliances; but there are few serious implications of such fear factor:

  1. Nothing tangible can fructify, while under fear!
  2. You cannot realize truly value of what you are doing, if under pressure or fear.
  3. You would comply overtly; but be tempted to violate covertly.
  4. Your potential would be leashed by fear or stress.
  5. Fear encourages rebellion at opportune time and kills openness.
  6. You would lose your drive and would need fear or pressure to drive you.

It is because of above that many organizations tend to keep violations under wraps, for fear of losing their reputation, even though violations eventually burst out inflicting bigger damages. Further, very often, we make a virtue out of the label that “we are God fearing”. Fearing God only reflects guilt! Real devotion converts fear into dedication. Fearlessness inspires seamlessness between devotee and deity, not a divide due to fear!

Let us change our notions. Fear may be good for novices to start with; but bound to be frustrating, when novices turn knowledgeable!

Blessings of doing it by choice!

Anything done by choice flourishes! Look at tremendous benefits:

  1. When you adopt ethics, morals and for that reason, any virtue by choice, you can comprehend, evaluate and experience their true values.
  2. It makes you confident and courageous.
  3. It encourages you to be open and upright.
  4. Doing it by choice puts you in driver’s seat!
  5. Choices create devotion and dedication. The net result is true ownership on being ethical and morally strong.
  6. You would automatically inspire your fellow beings to follow what you stand for.
  7. It serves a purpose larger than yourself and that drives tremendous sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in you!

This suggests that there is a dire need to change our teaching curriculum in schools and training courses in companies or institutions. While these can talk about implications of non-compliances; focus should be on coaching (a) why there is no alternative to being ethically and morally sound and (b) how to adopt good values by choice and not for factor of fear.

If we do the above, it would give us a new sense of purpose and direction. It would infuse in us inspiration, enormous energy, enduring motivation and excellent drive! 

So, would you not like to be a citizen, an individual, who puts ethics and morals above self?

Discover how to defeat your Disappointments n Depressive feelings!

Discovering a solution; Source: http://www.flickr.com/

Great leaders’ sayings, golden quotes, good advises, tested truths or terrific experiences carry no value for those, who are disappointed or depressed! Disappointments and depressive feelings are like hunger, when any talk about which food is healthy or harmful loses its relevance; a hungry person just wants food to eat!! In both the cases, emotions are overwhelming; but people often fail to differentiate what they do to resolve. The solution to problem of hunger is to eat food and that everyone does. On the other hand, while facing problem of disappointments or depressive feelings, person rejects the very solution! Is not it ironical?

Why is that?

The problem lies in the way we have learnt to perceive a problem!!!

Most perceive that a problem is pointless and has to bring pain!

Since childhood, it has been drilled in our mind that problem is a bad word. If we created a problem in our early hood, we were punished. We have been taught in schools how people reacted against problems; how problem makers were suppressed or penalized. That is not wrong or right; but one adverse impact is most of us have harbored habit to react negatively when faced with problem. A problem invariably invites negative emotions in us; it could range from frustration to fury, disenchantment and disillusionment to distress and depressive feelings. As it is, human mind falls prey to negatives far in excess of positives and hence negative emotions sucks you more into negative spiral, which could turn into wild thoughts and/or actions.

It is because of above, when we face problem/s, we simply sink! We don’t want to heed to anything sensible. Our senses prevail, only when it starts to hurt our conscience or creates damages, which instill fear in us. It is then that we start to take corrective actions to address the problem!

Our paradigm that problems are pointless must undergo a shift! It is not necessary that a problem has to bring pain or evoke our negative emotions!!

Treat problems as part and parcel of life!

If anyone claims on this planet that he/she never faces problems has serious problem! Everyone from strongest person of world – US President to wealthiest ones like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have their share of problems. If you still see them smiling, it is because they treat their problems differently.

Pluck following low hanging fruits to change your perspective on problems:

  1. Don’t have phobia of problems. If problems have to come, they would and hence, offer no resistance. It is your resistance to problems, which creates pains!
  2. Once a problem is before you, you would react. But, never act upon 1st reaction of your mind.
  3. More than 80% of problems are self-made!
    Your preset expectations, envy or comparison with others, desires/obsession, clash with your ego or comfort and conflict with your biases account for these, which invariably lead to negative emotions. So, you are focal point, from where most problems emanate!
  4. Recognize a problem; never reject or gloss over it.
    Once you recognize and accept, you would not waste your energy by recapitulating and repenting for efforts you made. You would realize something you did was not right. You need to find out what it was.
  5. A problem is called a problem, only when it has a solution.
    Solution is what you now have to find out by yourself or with help of others. Something, that does not have a solution, becomes sacrosanct as truth.
  6. Once you know the solution, don’t look back; simply implement even if that means radically different route to take.

Dare your disappointments and depressive feelings (Ds)

Here are some golden rules:

Rule # 1

Only when you dare, you can defeat!

Rule # 2

Value of efforts is far higher than the effects (results)!

So, if you made your sincere efforts, never feel dejected if effect or result did not fructify. Results only determine the direction. But, never refuse to follow, what result directs you to do.

Rule # 3

Rule 1-2-3 & Go always applies!

If 3 consecutive attempts did not get to your goal, quit making such attempts. One of the 2 things must change – your approach or goal, since either of 2 is not worth for you. Don’t wait or feel depressed; just make a radical shift.

Rule # 4

Consequences of conscious choices made are not meant for grumbling but for learning!

Don’t think – what’s wrong in grumbling; you would definitely goof in learning!!

Rule # 5

Setbacks provide best opportunity to learn and succeed! 

If you put your faith in this, you can’t be disillusioned or depressed!! Setbacks, irrespective how many, sting only when you don’t consider those as opportunities.

Rule # 6

Problems or failures don’t pull down heaven; but negative emotions emanating from those do put you in hell!

Rule # 7

Negative emotions swell when mixed with negative ones; but sink completely against positive ones!

Eventually, only way to survive and succeed is to counter your Ds by evoking your positive emotions or thoughts.

So, consider your classical notions about failure as opportunities; then opportunities would chase you!

While penning above thoughts and truths, I have been constantly wishing if I could help you, if faced with disappointments! What do you think?